11/28/2005 02:05:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|

So she's another overnight celeb on a reality tv show with fake titties and a love for getting naked on the beach. Even though she's from the UK and they don't have a sun. I got nothing against girls who get naked on the beach, even if they have fake titties, or if they are on Big Brother but I do have a problem with girls who do not get naked on the beach. I don't really understand why bathing suits are still necessary. I would be happy being surrounded by a bunch of naked chicks, even if they were fat. I mean my wife's a bit of a pig, I am over the whole every bitch has to look like a supermodel stage of my life, as long as they have a cooter, I am in the school that every bitch needs to get naked - and by bitch I mean you. Cuddles.
For more info on this girl, go Here(Her Profile via Big Brother Official Site)
|W|P|113316169352794424|W|P|I am - Sam Heuston Topless On Beach|W|P|11/28/2005 09:50:00 a.m.|W|P| TuckerMax|W|P|You cry more then that traveling Jesus statue....
Dont worry about your traffic, you still have me.11/28/2005 08:58:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Jesus, you are a real moron. That girl's tits aren't fake. Just fucking perky.11/28/2005 09:34:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Follow her fucking bio link you asshole.
"Sam dreams of being famous. She’s had a boob job but never told her family and once stripped naked on a podium on holiday in Tenerife in exchange for tickets to an event. Her idol is Christina Aguilera and although she loves both men and women, she relieves herself of boredom by thinking and talking about men. She describes herself as “original, funny and fun” and hates male chauvinists."11/28/2005 10:02:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|hahaha...did ANYONE notice that, in that 2nd pic, the placement of her left hand creates a somewhat disturbing silhouette?? I mean... i just smoked a bowl, so maybe I'm seeing things.11/29/2005 07:06:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|I love you Jesus...11/30/2005 01:51:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|update more often you dumb fucking mexican11/28/2005 01:57:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|


Naomi Watts is in King Kong. King Kong is going to be a huge movie. I am posting pics of her nipples for good search engine results, and not cuz I like her, because seriously dude, bitch looks like she's in her first tri-mester, not that I am against a pregnant woman - or a robust muff gut, but I am against British bitches cuz I don't understand their accents. I am not really as cultured as I come across on this site. Tea is for fucking Fops who would be better off with a little anal insertion from their tennis partner. That was a gay joke that totally didn't work out for me - but I am drunk and don't feel comfortable pressing "BACKSPACE".
|W|P|113316149917057228|W|P|I am - Naomi Watts Nipple|W|P|11/28/2005 02:12:00 a.m.|W|P| The Rhombus|W|P|She's Australian.11/28/2005 04:24:00 a.m.|W|P| SG|W|P|She's Australian11/28/2005 04:25:00 a.m.|W|P| SG|W|P|She's Australian11/28/2005 04:25:00 a.m.|W|P| SG|W|P|She's Australian11/28/2005 02:53:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Did we mention she's Australian?11/28/2005 07:00:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|In conclusion, she's Australian.11/28/2005 07:02:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|British, Australian, English, who cares there'll all the same.11/28/2005 07:38:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Like a Mexican but without any of the NAFTA privileges.11/29/2005 05:09:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|She's an aussie11/29/2005 09:08:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|which is different to Austrian (for the Americans)11/29/2005 04:59:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Born in England, so that makes her a Brit.11/30/2005 03:24:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|She's not even slightly Australian. English.11/30/2005 03:25:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Not Australian at all. English.11/30/2005 06:56:00 p.m.|W|P| She of the Socks|W|P|Does it matter? We all queef with the same accent.12/02/2005 11:15:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|Well, she was born in England, but is an Australian citizen. You're a dim, xenophobic asshole, though, and you show it time and time again. I wouldn't fuck you with Merlin Olsen's strapo-on.12/02/2005 08:34:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|interesting because most people think she is too thin. kathy griffin made a joke about it during the golden globes. & some have said that in king kong, you can see her ribs & collarbone.
if you saw i heart huckabees, you will see her in a perfect figure, unless you don't like women who have butts. perhaps you should start looking at old women? & if you saw 21g, you would see a near perfect top half--unless you prefer topheavy or flat chests.
whatever you say, she is a great actress, going back to mulholland dr (whether you understood it or not).12/07/2005 02:50:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|As Dr. House said, "If you've got the Queen on your money, you're ENGLISH"12/07/2005 09:15:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|She's hot! Anyone know where's she from?12/09/2005 01:12:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|Shes Australian. From the outbacks. Aborgines as foster parents12/09/2005 04:35:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|unless you have some eagle eyes, i dont see any nipples12/09/2005 08:17:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|American ignoramus tosser12/16/2005 02:33:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Naomi Watts is a British actress foremost, being born in Britain with two British parents. She moved to Aus when she was 14.12/16/2005 02:33:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Naomi Watts is a British actress foremost, being born in Britain with two British parents. She moved to Aus when she was 14.12/17/2005 02:27:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|i like ice cream at 2:26am12/17/2005 05:43:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Actually, both her parents are black. She has a weird skin pigmentation problem, kinda like Michael Jackson.11/28/2005 01:47:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
I have an internet friend and his name is Vit. And motherfucker always beats me to the celeb titty shots - and gets all the cred for it from the bigger sites. I don't get mad about that, because I am lazy and don't care all that much about traffic, but figure since I don't know who this bitch Kelly Hu is, and since my site's pretty much about to die, I'll give Vit that last bit of love I can - before the only reader left here is me cuz I know I'll be too damn lazy to send him a click.....
That's my story... go to
TAXIDRIVERMOVIE
|W|P|113316073022156376|W|P|I am - Kelly Hu Asian Nipple|W|P|11/28/2005 08:55:00 p.m.|W|P| Maezeppa|W|P|Do...not...die. Ever.11/30/2005 08:12:00 p.m.|W|P| MagicMafia|W|P|She was that bitch from X-Men 2.11/28/2005 01:41:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|


Ghost Whisperer is the number 1 show according to the preview. I have never seen it and I have never heard anyone even bring it up. I guess it's number 1 amongst people I don't really hang with. You know the kind of person who doesn't drink, watches shows like Buffy and The Gilmore Girls. The kind of person who lives with his parents, collects action figures, has never felt a boob - not even at the strip club cuz dude's scared of strip clubs....I have a feeling that's the kind of person watching Ghost Whisperer.
These are Hanes Her Way ads featuring Jennifer Love. Who better than America's Virgin to represent underwear that has the capacity to keep you a virgin. It's just that powerful, cuz no one really wants to fuck their mom...expcept you - weirdo.
|W|P|113316042086373852|W|P|I am - Jennifer Love Hewitt Hanes Her Way|W|P|11/28/2005 01:58:00 p.m.|W|P| Amatuer Hour...|W|P|My dad watches Buffy.11/30/2005 01:30:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|I watch Buffy and I don´t live with my parents.12/20/2005 12:18:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|no but you fuck your mom, and that counts...weirdo11/28/2005 01:36:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
If I was a lame internet person on a message board or running a shitty celeb site I'd say "CAPTION THIS" and all you fuckers would leave 100 comments about your stupid little ideas, none of which would make me even crack a smile, because I am an asshole like that. So instead of saying Caption This, I will say, Gisele has a slammin body. We know she's from Brazil and Aids is out of control along with man-girls - but even if Gisele had cock and Aids - I'd take my chances and give her a raw dog - because she's just that slammin'. End of story.
|W|P|113316010186531360|W|P|I am - Gisele Done Fixin' Her Tits|W|P|11/28/2005 01:22:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|


I wrote for Fleshbot for a while this summer, before that cunt Violet Blue complained to my man Jonno about the fact that I wasn't a trained sex writer. For the record, I hate cunts who take their fucking line of work too seriously, and I am not a trained writer in anything not just sex. Point is, you are illegitimate, like 3 of my kids I pretend don't exist, stop trying to legitimize your perversion and leave me the fuck alone. Keep your complaining to your Aids clinician when your lesions get out of hand, hooker.
Point of that was to say, I don't read sex blogs much anymore, but I did come across a girl on MySpace who had semi-nude pics. I was like, "Girl, Send me the real deal", because I fucking love nude pics and she did. Along with an article she wrote for SexWrecks, a site I know, but don't read, cuz I am lazy.
Point of the story is go to SexWrecks, read her article, cuz I am trying to make this bitch famous. If you aren't interested, that's fine. You can always go fuck yourself.
A story about anal and cocaine
OR do what I did and add her to MySpace
I don't think people even read my site anymore....
|W|P|113315975217024197|W|P|I am - SexWrecks Writer of the Day|W|P|11/28/2005 02:22:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|This girls is hot... too bad she didn't like her anal. I need a myspace account.11/28/2005 02:27:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|We read it.11/29/2005 12:00:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Lots of people read this, I've already been proposed to a dozen times.
Thank you for making me famous. Sexwrecks writer loves you.12/11/2005 04:56:00 p.m.|W|P| reymundo78|W|P|ehm.. the story doesn't really match up to those tits...
If I had a girlfriend, I'd tell her to
grow tits like that.11/28/2005 01:13:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
I assume this is old. I haven't seen it before, but I am not the most up to date person on the internet. I see a tit here and a tit there and I don't remember what tits I've seen and what tits I've posted. Either way, Fergie has a slammin' body, whether it's cocaine induced or not. I don't care if bitch doesn't eat or if her humps annoy the fuck out of me, or even that her face looks like my toilet bowl after a binge drinking session and some ectasy. Whatever, who cares about the face when it is slammed in the mud....more importantly, who cares about the cooter when you are impotent. Either way, her nip's like Salami and my fat wife loves salami, so that's why this here's posted. Happy Anniversay, you cunt.
|W|P|113315865676376240|W|P|I am - Fergie's Salami|W|P|11/30/2005 02:28:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|"who cares about the cooter when you are impotent... her nip's like Salami and my fat wife loves salami"...
buddy - that's hilarious. But I'm stoned right now too, so maybe that's it.
- EGrand11/28/2005 01:07:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|

Kathy Lee Gifford is stacked. I guess that's what happens when you have a lot of babies and breast feed them until they are 15. I don't know if this is really true, but I knew a kid who used to sell me weed, who had a cousin who sold Kathy Lee's kid weed wherever they live. Motherfucker used to be all nervous and shaky and when the dude I knew went to drop off a dime bag - he busted 'lil Kathy sucking on momma's teet. Either way, I spent most of my life unemployed - and with being unemployed and drunk 'til 10 am, my man Regis and this bitch is how many of my nights of drinking wrapped up. I never really noticed her tits, but bitch could breast feed more than her 15 year olds with this shits. I'm talking a small country, maybe where one of her sweatshops is set up.
For more info on this girl, go Here (Official Site)
|W|P|113315836542831747|W|P|I am - Kathy Lee Gifford's Boobs|W|P|11/29/2005 05:05:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|I don't care what anyone says, I still think she's a MILF!11/29/2005 09:15:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|After Frankie got caught banging the blonde Cathy Lee forgot how to wear a bra for a few weeks...... them some milk cannons.....11/30/2005 08:55:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|Yep, but I bet she farts in the tub...
* uchafu *11/30/2005 02:32:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|"bitch could breast feed more than her 15 year olds with this shits"...
man - pure gold - her knockers could be the cure world starvation.
- EGrand12/10/2005 04:42:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|Damn! Wish I were a 15-year-old12/21/2005 12:30:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|nice tits but good back mucels from sleeping her way to fame.a flat ass that could uses padding11/28/2005 01:00:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|

I am not a fashion consultant for anyone, except my friend old friend Ray, who's a little hopeless. Dude smoked so much meth we think he's turned himself into a retard, because dealing with this guy is like dealing with a Corky. So I take him the the Salvation Army, I buy him a T-Shirt, I pocket the change and buy a 6-pack. That's the reason I hang with Ray and take Ray shopping. Part of me loves Ray and the government program that pays Ray and the way Ray gets me drunk. I'd like to pay tribute to Ray, just like Tara Reid is paying tribute to her vagina, by dressing up like it. I guess it's in memory of when she could use it, you know before the HPV and Herpes caused the hole to close. I am not a gyno, but sometimes I pretend I am with homeless girls - just to see their cooters. I'm back.
|W|P|113315805800527013|W|P|I am - Tara Reid's Outfit|W|P|11/28/2005 12:06:00 p.m.|W|P| DrAwkwArD|W|P|Thumbs up to the Corky reference!
Tara Reid is a fucking slut. I'd hit it though, you know, cause i'm not a fag or anything.11/28/2005 12:32:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|

I don't even know who this cooter is. I just know that I find male make-up artists in cut off t-shirts funny and that's why I posted this shit. Back in the halfway house I lived in, I've talked about it before, we had this tranny bitch who used to work as a check-out clerk at some drug store by day and rock drag shows at night. This bitch was 275 lbs and got fired for stealing make-up from that drug store so men and make-up has always been a source of inspiration. That's my story - Let's get this update started. Cuddles.
|W|P|113315760148003866|W|P|I am - Ryan Starr's Make-Up Artist|W|P|11/30/2005 09:10:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|I don't get this meathole. She's from some "reality show" right, and she's somehow prolonged her 15 min. of fame. She's got and alright body but she looks lanky, and the face is sculpted poop. She looks exactly like Stephen King w/out the glasses,and of course with $10 stripper hair.11/25/2005 03:42:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|

I made a post that said "I am - convinced Pheromones Don't Work". I am still convinced that the shit isn't for real, and the best way to get pussy is some roofies and a bag of coke. But there are believers out there, people who swear by pheromones and are really passionate about this shit and even send me hate mail cuz I don't buy into it.
Dear Jesus,
You are a total fucking RETARD. Obviously you've never tried pheromone sprays. You've probably never even seen a PUSSY. You love DICK. That's how GAY you are.
Pheromones Fucking Work. Check out these pics of my man Mike at some club after bathing in some. He had no idea who this girl was. Just grabbed her and went crazy on her. Glad I had my camera.
I know you probably pick up little boys by kidnapping them and locking them in your basement, actually I bet you don't even have a basement. You homeless wet back.
You're an Asshole and I love your site! UPDATE MORE OFTEN YOU LAZY MEXICAN!
S.
I don't believe that these are pics of his friend Mike or that Mike bathed in Pheromone Spray or that "S." (not his real name) has ever had sex or if he has it's been a recent event and he happened to be using Pheromones. So now "S" is hooked but that doesn't change the fact that "S."'s disses are weak.
I put the challenge back out there. If you are bored, horny and willing to try anything to get girls - go to this site - buy pheromones and take some fucking pics for me and I'll make you famous, like I just did for Mike. CUDDLES!
|W|P|113295390939465176|W|P|I am - Pheromone Update 2|W|P|11/25/2005 07:07:00 p.m.|W|P| Tami|W|P|Both people in those pics have on wedding rings!
Um... My guess is that they probably know each other very well.11/27/2005 01:39:00 p.m.|W|P| douchelover|W|P|Looks like some guy got his wife drunk and showed everybody her cellulite.....nice job Mike! ou could probably get her to do that by pissing on her leg!!11/29/2005 03:53:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|This is where the pictures originated from. http://www.flickr.com/photos/jisou/sets/1314807/11/30/2005 04:38:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|i have bought and used the stuff that was supposed to be the best... i think there may be a small positive effect, but my being drunk and receptive was probably more important.
verdict - i will use it till it's gone because it doesn't smell bad, but otherwise, i wouldn't recommend anyone spend the money.11/23/2005 11:40:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
I remember her bush in Boogy Nights. I like bush and I also like bikinis. That's it for tonight. Welcome me back you cunts.
|W|P|113280738993385389|W|P|I am - Heather Graham's Bikini|W|P|11/24/2005 02:42:00 a.m.|W|P| Cbrian17|W|P|Welcome back Druken! I have missed your blog very much. Nice to see new posts, keep it up.11/24/2005 03:35:00 a.m.|W|P| spencer|W|P|this shit is oooooold. still love her body, though.11/24/2005 03:50:00 a.m.|W|P| NYC Barman|W|P|Good job you useless fuck. I was beginning to worry that you set your house on fire because you passed out with a hav-a-tampa in your mouth and ignited the grease on your kitchen floor. And to think I checked this shit everyday, it took away from my HALO tour.11/24/2005 07:56:00 p.m.|W|P| Maezeppa|W|P|Were you in jail?11/23/2005 11:34:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
You know there are some girls that even YOU wouldn't fuck. They look worse than dirty tranny crackwhores in Brazil (the kind with AIDS) and their rotten lookin' teeth, floppy tits and horse head make normal dudes' cock retract. I know, you aren't normal and would fuck anything, including your diabetic albino stepsister, but even she's too good for you.
|W|P|113280724202901196|W|P|I am - Alanis Morisette's Got Me Hard|W|P|1/05/2006 11:41:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|This bitch is a crack whore slut for sure....looks like she's had more than a few guys on her!!11/23/2005 11:25:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|

Sarita Stella is a Price is Right model. A job that is looked-up upon by trailer trash 22 year old single mom's on welfare. I don't think any model sets out in life to work for the Price is Right, but on a positive note this bitch also models micro-Bikinis. I don't really understand the craze with this shit, other than the fact that it's probably the sluttiest thing a middle-aged lonely mother who is way too comfortable with her body can rock at the beach. These things get sheer when they are wet and barely cover up the parts we want covered up, like your dirty cellulite tattoo and your tattoo of a rose; Minnie Driver. Point of the story is that this bitch is some useless model, down on her luck, taking whatever work she can get, but I know you're a bunch of lonely people and I have no problem showing you what breasts look like. Even disgusting ones.
If you are a next-level stalker, feel free to join her modelling school, for a chance to meet her: HERE
|W|P|113280657574606512|W|P|I am - Sarita Stella's Micro Bikini|W|P|11/29/2005 07:27:00 p.m.|W|P| |W|P|Nice case of carpet burn on the knees lol Still who wouldn't pump her !11/23/2005 11:16:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
I just wanted to say that I totally called that this fool had a big dick. I read a story somewhere that at their wedding he thanked his parent's for his big dick which proves my theory that ugly guys can get laid, if they got big dicks. Too bad for you, sitting in your mom's basement, 4 inches hard, video game controller in hand...you won't ever get X-Tina's rotten cunt. Point of the story is that impotence takes away all insecurities about having a little dick, it's like having a fleshy wound that you pee out of.....I'd like to thank crystal meth, obesity and hard living for my useless cock. Good story - tell your grandkids you fucking assholes.
|W|P|113280608825748021|W|P|I am - Christina Aguilera's Husband's Dick|W|P|11/24/2005 03:34:00 a.m.|W|P| spencer|W|P|that is a great bedtime story, stepfather. i will sleep easy tonight. and hard. huge, and hard. ?11/23/2005 11:04:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|

The constant theme today is girls with things in their mouths. Except for the Minnie Driver post, but I only put that up cuz I used to jerk off to the bitch when I could. Now I am all about watching girls eat, drink and smoke. It's the closest I'll probably see to them shoving a cock in their mouth, and I am totally supportive of girls who suck dick. I remember when I was a little younger and I actually took the time to date girls with issues, instead of just fuck them and leave them, there was one girl who just didn't suck dick. I'd be all like stickin my dick in her face and shit and she's all like "I don't do that". The joke was on me, cuz I stuck around for 2 weeks. That's how nice I am. If any of you girls out there don't suck dick, you better start learning, cuz you will only end up with some total fucking momma's boy who doesn't like sex anyway cuz his mom wouldn't be happy with his rude behavior. He's the kind of guy who rapes the next door neighbor's kid. Remember that.|W|P|113280548370555836|W|P|I am - Jessica Alba Oral Fixation|W|P|11/24/2005 03:31:00 a.m.|W|P| spencer|W|P|more like an oral fuckstation, eh, stepfather?11/24/2005 03:15:00 p.m.|W|P| Cyber Mule|W|P|Dude....I fucking love this site.
Welcome the FUCK back.
This is my favorite site on the web now.....way ahead of Maddox.
-C11/23/2005 10:50:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
I love bitches named Love, Jazz, Caramelle, Chanel and Diaz. The reason is because they are usually strippers, and I spend most of my disposible income on that shit. Shoving singles in a girl's garter fills the emptiness that is my life. If I go to the club with enough money, the girls actually talk to me like I am a real person. I know they just want my money, but I don't care, because I got an ass in my face and titties in hand. The jokes is usually on them, when I can't pay my tab and get kicked out. The point of all this is to say that Jennifer Love Hewitt acts a virgin, we all know she's a different person, I'm talking 12 inch nigger dildo up her ass while pissing in her mouth. It's always the good girls who suprise me best. The fact that she's eating her eats and drinking her drink is only to keep things constant. That's enough about this.
|W|P|113280465618079599|W|P|I am - Jennifer Love's Bikini|W|P|11/24/2005 03:17:00 p.m.|W|P| Cyber Mule|W|P|LOL
Fucking "Love" it...no pun intended.
J Love has got the best set of natural tits in Hollywood.....bar none.
I agree.....she is probably insane in the rack