6/24/2005 08:05:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
It's summer, and with summer comes summer vacation and for celebities, that means trips to beaches. With the beach comes bikinis and with celebrity comes paparazzi, and combined comes pictures of celebrities on beaches in Bikinis. Here are a few pictures of Cameron Diaz, I don't know what the fuck is on her ass, I think it's causes by Justin Timberlake's roughneck ways, upon fucking her, he realizes that he could be fucking ever 18 year old out there, and with his fits of rage comes fits of fury and he spanks the shit out of Diaz for ruining his youth. I could be completely wrong, but I remember knowing a guy who had a girlfriend for 10 years, she dumped him, he was 30 and he realized that he was monogamous for so long, and he passed up so much pussy, and he was now all alone crushed and battered. This may happen to JT, but it didn't happen to me, I just slept with whore after whore after whore. Take my word for it, dump your girlfriends now, because all relationships will end horribly.
|W|P|111965794399213003|W|P|I am - Cameron Diaz on the Beach|W|P|6/24/2005 08:14:00 p.m.|W|P|
"Nobody fucks with the Jesus." -jesus quintana6/24/2005 09:47:00 p.m.|W|P|Mr. G.|W|P|that mark on her ass is from a surfing injury... the fin sliced up her ass. i know cause i got the same scar.6/24/2005 10:45:00 p.m.|W|P|
are you fucking serious???? what the fuck were the guys at Gawker thinking giving you even more space to be 'humorous'?? Jesus, you're a fucking tool. you've totally destroyed Fleshbot. wanker.6/24/2005 10:59:00 p.m.|W|P|
but i usually dont go to fleshbot to 'read'. i use to skim, but now i gotta stop to read his vile and self-deprecating humor.6/25/2005 02:09:00 a.m.|W|P|6/25/2005 02:21:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|what's with all the haters here
we're all about the love
you don't have to dis all my hard work
it hurts my feelings
i hope you are happy
jerk6/25/2005 05:28:00 a.m.|W|P|HoSpiTaL|W|P|6/25/2005 10:56:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I am confused.
How did someone, who isn't me, get into my profile, and post a racist comment? Does that mean they have my password? That's fucked up....
seriously6/25/2005 11:33:00 a.m.|W|P|6/25/2005 12:03:00 p.m.|W|P|
Yours Sincerely, GreyFox6/25/2005 12:16:00 p.m.|W|P|Damus00|W|P|GreyFox Son, dont bother with the links, just shut this shit down! fuck stepfather up! or just redirect it to gay porn, dude dont hesitate, Jesus Martinez is a racis fuck, everyone hates him.6/25/2005 01:06:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|why you guys so sensitive?
i am not a racist6/25/2005 04:40:00 p.m.|W|P|6/26/2005 05:01:00 a.m.|W|P|
though I would like to give her rug burns on her left ass cheeks.
Whats with the BONG? Dude.
I prefer "DeezNutz!"6/26/2005 05:05:00 a.m.|W|P|6/26/2005 07:23:00 p.m.|W|P|
PS -- that cammie better go back to her Dr and ask for a refund. girl still nasty.6/27/2005 10:31:00 a.m.|W|P|TuckerMax|W|P|Dont hate the playa hate the game, that you all cant play.
I wish that scar was on her belly, then Id pretend it was a c-section scar..... mmmm6/28/2005 11:08:00 p.m.|W|P|Jessica Chobot Sucks|W|P|cameron diaz is hot6/29/2005 03:34:00 a.m.|W|P|6/29/2005 12:33:00 p.m.|W|P|Easily Aroused|W|P|Is Cameron appearing in the Zorro sequel?6/29/2005 08:23:00 p.m.|W|P|majestic1|W|P|Damn jesus why dont you update more man r u in jail again?6/30/2005 05:55:00 a.m.|W|P|6/30/2005 10:08:00 p.m.|W|P|7/02/2005 06:22:00 a.m.|W|P|7/02/2005 10:38:00 a.m.|W|P|7/02/2005 03:24:00 p.m.|W|P|7/02/2005 07:37:00 p.m.|W|P|7/04/2005 12:31:00 p.m.|W|P|11/03/2005 07:29:00 a.m.|W|P|tele_emule|W|P|recette de cuisine - skype - tablature guitare - tarot - telecharger acrobat - telecharger antivirus - telecharger antivirus gratuit - telecharger chanson - telecharger clone cd - telecharger codec divx - telecharger divx - telecharger divx gratuit - telecharger divx gratuitement - telecharger divx player - telecharger emoticone - telecharger emoticone gratuit - telecharger emule - telecharger emule gratuit - telecharger e mule gratuit - telecharger emule gratuitement - telecharger e mule gratuitement - telecharger fr - telecharger kazaa en francais - telecharger kazaa gratuit - telecharger kazaa gratuitement - telecharger kazaa lite - telecharger logiciel divx - telecharger logiciel gratuit - telecharger messenger - telecharger messenger 7.5 - telecharger mp3 - telecharger msn 7.5 - telecharger msn 7.5 francais - telecharger msn gratuitement - telecharger msn mesenger - telecharger msn messager - telecharger msn messenger 7.5 - telecharger msn messenger 8.0 - telecharger msn messenger gratuit - telecharger msn messenger gratuitement - telecharger msn plus - telecharger music mp3 - telecharger musique gratuite - telecharger nero - telecharger nero 6 - telecharger nero gratuit - telecharger nero gratuitement - telecharger norton antivirus - telecharger norton antivirus 2005 - telecharger shareaza - telecharger shareaza gratuit - telecharger shareaza gratuitement - telecharger skype - telecharger winamp - telecharger winzip - telecharger winzip gratuit - telecharger yahoo messenger - winmx - zodiaque - zone alarm6/24/2005 08:05:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Bondage is funny. The reason it is funny is because it is based on humility. It's all about making a complete fool of yourself, while have a hard-on throughout the process. It's like going up on stage to sing a song in front of 1000s, of people, only to forget the words and realize that you don't really even know how to sing. It's like going for a jog and ending up 20 miles away from home, only to shit yourself and walk home soiled and in shambles. It's like that time that those bullies in highschool tied you to the fence naked and brought out all the hot girls to laugh and point. It's all about being in a vulnerable position with your mistress in a Sensory Deprivating Mask...
The Ultimate Sensory Deprivation Bondage Hood
Grit your teeth and bear it boy! This hood is not for those that panic. This heavy duty hood is hand made to exceptional quality standards. When the 3 locking leather straps are pulled tight against the padded eyes, mouth and ear areas you get that oh boy feeling. With your senses leaving quickly you become very submissive to your master's demands and struggle to hear their every word. This is by far one of the finest hoods we offer. Comes in one size with laces for adjusting to fit.
* Padded leather ear pockets
* Padded leather reinforcement for eyes and mouth
* 3/4 inch mouth hole
* Leather laced rear back for snug fit
* 3 extra leather locking straps
* Straps can be used with or without padlocks
|W|P|111965791882381544|W|P|I am - Sensory Deprivating Mask|W|P|6/25/2005 05:28:00 a.m.|W|P|HoSpiTaL|W|P|6/25/2005 01:08:00 p.m.|W|P|7/01/2005 03:43:00 p.m.|W|P|Maezeppa|W|P|Bondage is NOT "based on humility". It is based on "HUMILIATION" which is something entirely different.7/03/2005 11:05:00 a.m.|W|P|7/03/2005 10:47:00 p.m.|W|P|MrBozack|W|P|Fuck all you sorry proofreading bitches. Look at the god damn content of this website and then answer 2 questions for me.
1.Are a bottle of liquor and a dictionary ever kept close to each other?
2.Did your job as hall monitor in high school ever get your punk asses laid?7/04/2005 03:15:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|mr bozack is like the girlfriend i never had. i was always stuck with fat bitches who smell not cuz i am ugly or a loser, but because i didn't press F7 you spell-checking bitches...get back to typing up cover letters for your boss, you useless bitches
bozack, no homo, but i love you7/05/2005 03:13:00 p.m.|W|P|MrBozack|W|P|always happy to defend a fellow drunk from the forces of the fuckless wonders of the world6/24/2005 08:04:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
I rarely compliment girls for looking good. I figure enough suck up bitches do that in attempts to get in their pants. In case you haven't realized it doesn't work. The only girls who you can be nice to and guarantee play from is fat girls, and who the fuck wants a fat girl. All you have to say is "baby, you look so good tonight", and she's yours. Only because she has limited selection in who she can get with. Beckham has had something like 10 kids, and bitch's body is still slamming. You gotta give respect where it's due. If all women who have kids, could bounce back into shape...you're options in pussy would be limited. You need the fatties with baggage and low standards to get laid.
|W|P|111965789098819939|W|P|I am - Victoria Beckham on the Beach|W|P|6/25/2005 05:28:00 a.m.|W|P|HoSpiTaL|W|P|6/25/2005 05:06:00 p.m.|W|P|6/25/2005 05:31:00 p.m.|W|P|6/25/2005 08:33:00 p.m.|W|P|Optimus|W|P|good lord, what the christ is on his wrist?
jacob the jeweller needs to be STOPPED6/26/2005 12:54:00 p.m.|W|P|
she should try working on that pig nose next.6/26/2005 04:07:00 p.m.|W|P|
Otis Rail6/29/2005 03:37:00 a.m.|W|P|6/30/2005 10:36:00 a.m.|W|P|7/03/2005 01:51:00 p.m.|W|P|7/11/2005 02:45:00 p.m.|W|P|
Respect where it's due? Please. She's got hundred dollars bills coming out of the seams of her kind sized mattress.
-Rebecca6/24/2005 08:03:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| The beauty of the Fleshlight is that all Fleshlight users are pretty predictable. I always assumed they were people who don't have sex on the regular, if ever and are people who spend a lot of time on the internet. Now, I spend a lot of time on the Internet, but that's only because I fear facing the world out there. It is so big and offers so many opportunities that I would rather sit on my chair and leave it at that. This Fleshlight reader brings my point home with the fact that he is webcamming some girl in 1000 miles away, who is really a 65 year old dude, only to think to himself that he's got a chance, until he looks down and realizes that he's got a Fleshlight in his hand.
I was talking to a friend online when the package arrived. She talked me into turning my webcam on to watch me use it for the first time. When I first slid into it I thought it felt good, but wasn't too excited. But once I got the hang of playing with the endcap to adjust the suction and using different speeds it was awesome. I would definately recommend it to anyone on the fence about getting one. BTW...I got the pink lady wonder wave.
|W|P|111965785401531647|W|P|I am - Fleshlight Discussion Board Post of the Day|W|P|6/25/2005 05:28:00 a.m.|W|P|HoSpiTaL|W|P|6/25/2005 05:31:00 a.m.|W|P|6/25/2005 10:57:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|i need to know how someone hacked my account. it's makin me nervous!!6/25/2005 10:57:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|i wanna thank the hacker for not changing my password!!6/25/2005 11:30:00 a.m.|W|P|9/26/2005 05:58:00 p.m.|W|P|mia|W|P|Great work on your blog - it was very enlightening. You've got a lot of useful info on there about Funny Pictures so I've bookmarked your site so I don't lose it. I'm doing a lot of research on Funny Pictures Exposed and have just started a new blog - I'd really appreciate your comments9/26/2005 06:22:00 p.m.|W|P|marissa|W|P|I appreciate your information on Cameron Diaz. I just bookmarked your site and will be back regulalry to keep on top of it. Please check out my blog on Cameron Diaz Exposed - I'd really appreciate it6/24/2005 08:02:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
I did a post about her a couple of days ago, she was getting raped by a midget and it was documented. Now, I assume she's still on the same midget-rape vacation on this time she decided to let you tits get some son. She is topless, you like that shit, even though they are retardedly fake, you'd still stick it to her. I am not a fan of the breast implant. That's all I have to say about that.
|W|P|111965783058300726|W|P|I am - Victoria Silvstedt topless Beach Pics|W|P|6/25/2005 05:27:00 a.m.|W|P|HoSpiTaL|W|P|6/25/2005 04:34:00 p.m.|W|P|7/01/2005 05:58:00 p.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 12:33:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
Lohan is turning 19, I guess that makes her damaged goods. I know fantasies are made of 18 year old celebrity cocaine addicts, at least mine are. I like to think they aren't really fantasies, but let's face it what would Lohan want a 35 year old, poor, overweight mexican canadian for...I used to always get girls who wanted to piss off their dads, it was a whole rebelious thing, well Lohan doesn't really have a dad, he's in jail, and she wrote him off, her new date is in powdered form..so my strategy just won't work....anyway Lohan is on Letterman, so I figured why not do a liveblog, or at least try...I have never done this before, and probably never will but this is the reason we are the home of Lohan.
11:59 - Announcer is making North Korea Jokes - Not making me laugh
12:00 - Letterman says "we'll be right back with Lohan, my balls tingle.
12:03 - Dave introduces Loha, she walks out showing leg that slag
12:04 - Dave says she's gorgeous, she giggles pretending she's shocked, come on Lohan we know you think you're hot
12:05 - Lohan is talking about her sports history, rubs her nose, talks about a bubble, not my kind of bubble
Read More of this Garbage - After the Jump....
12:05 - Dave makes a french joke, Lohan rubs nose, Lohan says the word "sore"
12:05 - Lohan says she works out, by walking and lifting, Lohan rubs nose
12:05 - She's so smiley, rubs nose, talks about cells, and being on trampoline with siblings
12:06 - Lohan talks about being 19 and declares she has no boyfriend
12:06 - Lohan is deep, she says we are all intitled to our own opinions, even me, thanks Lohan
12:07 - Lohan says she doesn't eat
12:07 - Lohan says she hit puberty at 17, that means she's only had pubic hair for 2 years, must have been a tough teenage life, being the only girl who didn't bleed
12:08 - Lohan talks about the paparazzi, and offers to chase dave - rubs nose
12:08 - Lohan is in love, she's been hiding it for 2 months, rubs nose
12:09 - Lohan works too much, Lohan doesn't know if she has a boyfriend, Lohan rubs nose
12:10 - Lohan doesn't know what to do when she sees 10 cars of paparazzi, it is endagering the people, by people she means herself, she is of course the only one in her (rubs nose) world
12:11 - Lohan is creeped out by people who smirk, but not by South American de-virginizers
12:11 - Lohan has bruises, make up does wonders, but doesn't cover up the shit stains on her face
12:12 - Commericial break, we get to see a clip when they come back - I would be hard if I wasn't impotent
12:17 - Lohan's back, talking about some dude named Michael, let's pretend by Michael she means Me....oh it's clip time, fuck dude I can't take the anticipation, I love shitty clips of shitty movies, Lohan Rubs her fucking nose again....jesus
12:18 - Lohan rubs nose before clip, oh - it's not a real clip it's a joke clip, we laugh and we laugh with Lohan, Dave's so clever. Real clip comes on, I zone out....
12:19 - it's over now we can go back to hating ourselves.... Lohan is happy her nipple didn't fall out of her dress like it did on Leno
Conclusion, I hate live-blogging and will never do it again.....
|W|P|111941494001834647|W|P|I am - LiveBloggin Lohan On Letterman....|W|P|6/22/2005 12:57:00 a.m.|W|P|madison's favorite son|W|P|you're the king- "I would be hard if I wasn't impotent"6/22/2005 02:13:00 a.m.|W|P|Lohan is happy her nipple didn't fall out of her dress like it did on Leno
What? When did this happen?6/22/2005 08:59:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|i forgot to put the tag in proper...the nip slip pic is now officially in this bitch....6/22/2005 09:20:00 a.m.|W|P|SquirrelArmySoldier|W|P|I like the blog...the posts are funny...but this one:
Best.Post.Ever.6/22/2005 09:57:00 a.m.|W|P|Permit|W|P|you really took the cake with this one dad. You post is killin me. funny man you are.6/22/2005 11:45:00 a.m.|W|P|
Good to see you're making a little more of an effort... Keep it up!6/22/2005 11:54:00 a.m.|W|P|Shaolin Trooper|W|P|one only rubs there nose like that if one is doing the coke diet6/22/2005 06:13:00 p.m.|W|P|
the kid's quick6/22/2005 07:21:00 p.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 07:42:00 p.m.|W|P|
a) snorting columbia up her nose every morning
b) being within spitting distance of paris hilton
that REALLY fucked her up.6/22/2005 09:43:00 p.m.|W|P|MrBozack|W|P|snorting columbia every morning and being within spitting distance of paris hilton is still better than your suck ass life. at least she isn't posting on some lame ass site like my drunk ass is.6/22/2005 11:25:00 p.m.|W|P|jdorbitflesh|W|P|you are a nastly, fugly motherfucking troll who has nothing better to do with his time than put down people who are more successful and attractive than you'll ever be. hey, stepfaddddderrr, why don't you post a picture of your "tastly upskirt". then, we can all critique what you have to offer: smegma, small tick, fatt ass, and a butt face!6/22/2005 11:53:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|jd orbit flesh
are you a fan of lohan, well you have come to the right place we are the official home of lohan.
Glad you liked the post!
Thanks for reading!6/23/2005 03:09:00 a.m.|W|P|6/23/2005 03:12:00 a.m.|W|P|Easily Aroused|W|P|So is she snorting regular Coke only, or is she safeguarding her figure by doing diet as well?6/23/2005 05:57:00 a.m.|W|P|
and for paris, there's diet cock.
boooo etc6/23/2005 08:13:00 a.m.|W|P|6/23/2005 08:43:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Could it be? I think it is. It seems like Lohan is trying to "get back at me" for all my recent posts. Lohan, you gotta realize that I have nothin but love for you, it's just jokes. I love the new song about me, that's going to be your next hit. The quality of writing KILLS rumors....
This is my favorite part:
"jump off a cliff, just do it, just do it, just do it, just do it"6/23/2005 08:44:00 a.m.|W|P|6/23/2005 11:30:00 a.m.|W|P|Lindsay Lohan|W|P|6/24/2005 06:38:00 a.m.|W|P|
I had the shitty curiosity to click on your link. I hope DIE from a bacterial
EVERYONE PLEASE FOLLOW MY WARNING DO- NOT-CLICK-ON-THE-LINK-ABOVE-ME!!!!!
I SAID DON'T DO IT!!! :o6/24/2005 09:10:00 a.m.|W|P|13 year old cutie|W|P|pffft, he dosent know what hes talking about, http://36cent.blogspot.com/ is a great blog, nothing grose about it, its just jesus martinez is afraid that this blog is better than his and will lead people away from his site, which is full of spam may i mention. Check it out, its got the latest lohan nip slip in high res & also the ashley olsen upskirt no panties pics. check i out!6/24/2005 11:24:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|seriously
the 36 cent blog is a piece of shit
i am not worried about people leaving this site
in case you didn't notice
i have links all up and down the side bar - fool
your site is just garbage - that all
bitch6/24/2005 01:18:00 p.m.|W|P|6/30/2005 10:42:00 a.m.|W|P|9/26/2005 06:59:00 p.m.|W|P|amber|W|P|I appreciate your information on Cameron Diaz. I just bookmarked your site and will be back regulalry to keep on top of it. Please check out my blog on Cameron Diaz Exposed - I'd really appreciate it6/22/2005 12:32:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I know you haven't got laid in a long time, don't feel bad, sometimes I would take a lack of pussy than having to sleep with my wife, but I won't get into that, because I wouldn't want to divert from the fact that you take pleasure in this street art, even though it's of a guy cumming in another guys face, the way it should be when every girl you have ever approached has told you that you aren't there type...you are a homo because of extraneous factors, not by birth or choice but because of neceessity homo. Shouldn't you be changing your panties or something?
|W|P|111941474157294103|W|P|I am - Street Art of the Day|W|P|6/28/2005 09:29:00 p.m.|W|P|
That (street art) is so disgusting.There is no room for fags in our world.............7/04/2005 01:39:00 a.m.|W|P|sick sick sick|W|P|the one on top is the 'assailant'.
one on the bottom is the 'helper'.6/22/2005 12:32:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| White trash is not really in style, it just seems like a lot of white trash have made lots of money or married into it recently. This means they have nicer houses than you, a better quality of life, fucking hotter bitches, but you can't take the trash outta them and that means going to the store for a bag of chips and a pack of smokes. This is the shit poor families pack in their kid's school lunches, provided they aren't too drunk to bother...
|W|P|111941476328147422|W|P|I am - Kevin Federline White Trash Diet|W|P|6/22/2005 08:39:00 a.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 09:32:00 p.m.|W|P|
I bought shit like that when I was broke and stupid in college. Why would a multi millionaire want to eat that shit and fucking smoke. He shouldn't be trying to kill himself with smoke like the rest of us poor peasants.
Live Federline you rich redneck! LIVE!!!6/24/2005 06:44:00 a.m.|W|P|
Is that a bag of BBQ pork rinds he's holding?6/28/2005 09:33:00 p.m.|W|P|
Cant wait till he dumps her for a hotter fakie,and takes all her cash leaving her poor.Boo Hoo11/25/2005 05:25:00 a.m.|W|P|Jenifer D.|W|P|Kevin is in the crosshairs of the princess of debauchery herself; Paris, 'Hoochie-Mama' Hilton. Look out Britney!11/25/2005 05:30:00 a.m.|W|P|Jenifer D.|W|P|kevin is a big piece of white-trash whore-monging, dead-bead dad who needs his ass kicked by britney. too bad miss rich pants has no sense to realize that he has a taste for sister-girl booty that clashes with the rich white girl lifestryle.6/22/2005 12:32:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| This could be your mother, I wouldn't know, we've never met and I doubt we ever will, I am not into this whole internet friendship thing, ya know how it is, makes me feel a little weird. Anyway, if this girl isn't your mom, she's someone's mom and I am guessing to spice up her marriage she decided to pull her floppy tit out for someone to get a kick out of. That someone is obviously a very weird person, probably spends a lot of time on the internet just like you....maybe one day you will be lucky enough to get a nasty bitch to flash you while camera is in hand. That way, maybe your friends will believe that you have seen a breast in person, then again if this is the only tit you're seeing, you probably don't have many friends....Cuddles.
|W|P|111941478544267001|W|P|I am - Exhibitionist of the Day|W|P|6/22/2005 01:11:00 a.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 03:46:00 a.m.|W|P|KoKo|W|P|I think britney already looks like that.. I dont even wanna think what she'll look like in 5 years. Prolly will look like Kristie Alley or Rosie O'Donell!6/22/2005 08:36:00 a.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 07:43:00 p.m.|W|P|6/23/2005 03:20:00 a.m.|W|P|UpTight|W|P|I think that people should spice up their sex life with exhibitionism. Yeah!6/26/2005 11:14:00 a.m.|W|P|7/07/2005 02:00:00 a.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 12:31:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| It seems like when you have never had the opportunity to touch a real vagina, a rubber one feels as close to the real thing as you ever imagined while you pleasured yourself with your hand or other random household items. I guess this is next level masturbation and I shouldn't judge, if anything I should be thanking fleshbot for preventing reproduction of people like you and more importantly I should thank them for keeping you off the streets and in your house, because people like you, Virgins for Life always end up giving in to your needs and doing something stupid like raping a girl. Desperations a bitch, get a fleshlight.
the fleshlight came already warm in the bag and ready to be deflowered. Couldn't wait, so I emptied the lube and stuck my penis in right then and there, because I knew I would not make it to the bedroom alive. At first, I gasped like a little girl on halloween, but then proceeded to pump like a fevered rottweiler in heat. The silky texture tickled my scrotum and brought new meaning to the word blue balls. I noticed i took the end cap off, so I screwed that sucker on tight and right then and there it sucked the living daylight out of me. Suction = good shit fellas, as I pulled out panting and rug burned, there was a pleasant slurp sound that rang like music to my ears.
GO GET YOUR FL NOW.
|W|P|111941468522002873|W|P|I am - Fleshlight Discussion Board Post of the Day|W|P|6/23/2005 03:26:00 a.m.|W|P|UpTight|W|P|If I had a dick, I would stick it into anything that stood still long enough for me to insert my monster (yes, it would be HUGE) cock!6/22/2005 12:30:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
It happens to the best of us, well not really to me, but only because I don't wear underwear, only because I am a slob who hates doing laundry and more importantly life is expensive and I have to budget, and lucky for me underwear just didn't make the cut, regardless Jessica Simpson has a bit of money, a perverted dad, a husband she cheats on and most importantly a wedgie, that she is picking, that was documented on film, that is not a big deal to me, but I know it is to you...catering to my audience is just what I do.
|W|P|111941465737436080|W|P|I am - Jessica Simpson Wedgie Picker|W|P|6/22/2005 08:42:00 a.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 04:08:00 p.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 12:28:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
At 68 dollars, this shit's a steal. I know everytime I get hard, I wish I could be bound up in some weird fucking sex bubble. It's like wrap me up and throw me in the fuckin corner like the used tampon I sometimes feel like. I guess it all started with my sexual attraction to a beachball, I remember as a kid in mexico our only had rocks for toys, so the soft rubber texture I encountered as a teenager only brought one thing to mind and that one thing was "I would love to fuck this", so I did. Point of the story is sexual restraints are hype, especially when they remind me of a beachball....this post is weak, but so am I.
Confining Latex Balloon Prison
This unique latex balloon is made of stretchable latex. This product is super stretchy but takes some effort to get in it. We suggest a lot of a water based lubricant around the skin and balloon to glide in better. To get in you start by putting your feet inside and then pulling the latex balloon around your body all the way to the neck. Once inside you can feel the pressure of the latex all around you. Some use additional straps or tape for extra security. Comes in black or clear.
|W|P|111941456317174585|W|P|I am - Sexual Restraint of the Day|W|P|6/22/2005 09:53:00 p.m.|W|P|6/28/2005 09:48:00 p.m.|W|P|7/03/2005 07:45:00 p.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 12:27:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
The only thing wrong with a woman turning 30 is pretty much everything. What once was tight, is now loose, and what I once considered ejaculating on, reminds me of a bowl of Oatmeal. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Oatmeal, especially if you're poor. That shit can feed an entire family. Thanks Cameron Diaz for your Oatmeal stomach...maybe you should consider rockin one of these next time you hit the beach. All the fat bitches have been rockin' these for years. Speaking of fat, Rebecca Romijn Stamos is still fat motherfuckers.
|W|P|111941447324331726|W|P|I am - Cameron Diaz in a Bikini|W|P|6/22/2005 04:26:00 p.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 05:17:00 p.m.|W|P|
*Sarcasm alert.6/22/2005 09:54:00 p.m.|W|P|6/23/2005 03:51:00 p.m.|W|P|Chris Abraham|W|P|Again, I say, she looks mighty fine to me.6/25/2005 02:51:00 a.m.|W|P|6/25/2005 07:04:00 p.m.|W|P|The Donger|W|P|there's always porn...6/26/2005 08:35:00 p.m.|W|P|6/26/2005 08:49:00 p.m.|W|P|6/28/2005 09:52:00 p.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 12:23:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| We all love getting emails, especially when you are a lonely fuck, which you are. It makes you feel like you are liked, or wanted, or needed or...you get the idea. Even I like getting emails, when I see my computer receiving files I always sit and hope for naked pic submissions, my big break, or even an email from someone saying hi. Today's email was one of greater importance, it was from a Muslim man begging to be helped out, this is what he had to say, and drop him an email if you're bored. Don't be too mean, this guy looks like he's "this close" to giving up, and racial slurs are NOT accepted in my world.....
I am saleem the resident of Muslim country pakistan I am also Muslim .but i am in trouble .this country and Muslim people have been tease me .so i am fed up and i want to settle in Europeon ,Russian ,Amrician ,Australian other none muslim countries and want to adopt their religion For the sake of humanity please help me My Bio-data is as follow Name Saleem , Age 25 years profession business , unmarried religion islam , height 5 feet 8 inches i am the owner of one lac dollar .if any body will help me then i shall adopt his religion .i am ready to adopt any religion expect Muslim .please help me yours Saleem my e mail mr-HERE
you can do my help like this .you search a girl of Europeon countries for me .i shall get marriage with this girl and come her country such as i can leave the Pakistan and settle another country i can adopt the religion of that country .i shall pay money if you will do my work your faith fully , saleem
|W|P|111941444464538396|W|P|I am - Email of the Day|W|P|6/22/2005 09:38:00 p.m.|W|P|MrBozack|W|P|i don't get this? at least mail order brides have something to offer. you must've made this shit up yourself, fuckin spic.6/16/2005 05:11:00 p.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
Since this is the home of Lohan, I have no choice but to post about her. Lohan is potentially the future mother of my baby, I want to pull a Kevin Federline on her ass, but only when bitch loses weight. I am all for bikini pictures, but get really turned off when I have to look at at fatty in a bikini, she's got pretty big thighs, a gunt and mad cankles. This girl has A LOT of weight to lose, I hope she hasn't given up on her workout program, diet pills and coke habit, because that's really where all her appeal is, however, Lohan is in Mexico, I am from Mexico, I would say it was fate, but that would be fucking gay as shit, shit is only gay when the homos get it on their dicks after an intense ass-fucking session. Just so you know, you got some gay shit....
|W|P|111895647003740031|W|P|I am - Lohan Still Fat|W|P|6/16/2005 08:56:00 p.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 09:22:00 p.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 11:35:00 p.m.|W|P|
a lil shadeage and her features
would look better6/16/2005 11:48:00 p.m.|W|P|6/17/2005 12:12:00 a.m.|W|P|
*yawn*6/17/2005 12:16:00 a.m.|W|P|6/17/2005 01:15:00 a.m.|W|P|6/17/2005 01:15:00 a.m.|W|P|6/17/2005 01:15:00 a.m.|W|P|6/17/2005 02:39:00 a.m.|W|P|
Anyhow, have a nice evening.6/17/2005 08:02:00 a.m.|W|P|
I'm definitely surprised.6/17/2005 09:34:00 a.m.|W|P|shoes|W|P|how can you be thin and fat at the same time6/17/2005 09:51:00 a.m.|W|P|6/17/2005 10:57:00 a.m.|W|P|6/17/2005 12:43:00 p.m.|W|P|6/17/2005 01:05:00 p.m.|W|P|6/17/2005 03:47:00 p.m.|W|P|
If it works, let us know - and post the pic!6/17/2005 06:40:00 p.m.|W|P|
It's like saying Ashlee Simpson really needs to lip-synch even more!! And totally let people KNOW!
saying Lohan is still fat:
1) it's lame
2) you're falling for it
GET A LIFE.6/17/2005 07:31:00 p.m.|W|P|Trixie|W|P|But who's the HIPPO in the background of the top left picture?6/17/2005 11:09:00 p.m.|W|P|
I'm not sure that any of us are "falling" for Jesus' "irony", but I, for one, am just tired of the unoriginality of calling a skinny chick "fat". Now if you were to call Ms. Lohan "smart"...6/18/2005 02:29:00 a.m.|W|P|6/18/2005 04:39:00 a.m.|W|P|6/18/2005 05:51:00 a.m.|W|P|Nasty Nate|W|P|Dear Faggot (AKA Jesus Martinez), you suck so much dick, why not just kill yourself right now, the only reason you live is for others amusement, your mum dosent love you, she only says that so she can lick your anus without you telling your dad (who licks your anus aswell). man this world is not meant for you, just do it man, just hang yourself, this world can be cruel to faggots like you, and when you get past the age of 10 you will realise that you should have done it a long time ago, and wishing to yourelf you listened to me *sigh*. Heres a poem i made for you: 'you are gay, Jesus Martinez, you will always be gay, jump off a cliff faggot, cut your throat, slit your wrists, poke your eyes out with a fork, do whatever you must, just do it, do us all a favour faggot' CHORUS: no one likes you faggot, your getting teased just like you used to in high school, jump off a cliff, just do it, just do it, just do it, just do it. and btw post something good you little faggot.6/18/2005 06:03:00 a.m.|W|P|Nasty Nate|W|P|anyone wanting to join my 'drunken stepfather is a phaggot' clan, email me at email@example.com/18/2005 11:01:00 a.m.|W|P|6/18/2005 12:36:00 p.m.|W|P|6/18/2005 10:48:00 p.m.|W|P|Shoshana Bin Laden|W|P|Jeeeee-zuz-christ!
What's with the flagrant usage of faggot (and sometimes "phaggot")?
Seriously, what is this, 6th grade?
I worked at a magazine one time and we were dealing with a pretty shitty dilemma: the readership were the types that used the word "faggot" on the regular (and not in the funny way). It's hard to have motivation to write stuff when your readership are a bunch of fuckin neaderthals.
Sorry fellas6/19/2005 03:15:00 a.m.|W|P|6/19/2005 03:18:00 a.m.|W|P|MrBozack|W|P|6/19/2005 06:52:00 a.m.|W|P|PHAGGOT!|W|P|PHAGGOT!
is my new word to say6/19/2005 06:54:00 a.m.|W|P|6/19/2005 09:30:00 a.m.|W|P|6/19/2005 12:11:00 p.m.|W|P|Chris|W|P|If this is fat mabye you should move to some country where there is no food and people are starving, maybe then you will find someone close enough to death that will satisfy your hunger for exposed bones on women, better yet why don't you just hang outside a meth clinic. you'll meet someone there.6/20/2005 08:40:00 a.m.|W|P|6/20/2005 09:24:00 a.m.|W|P|6/20/2005 08:09:00 p.m.|W|P|
The Pope6/21/2005 02:37:00 a.m.|W|P|MrBozack|W|P|there's a meth clinic? sign me up, cuz the N.A. meetings are boring.6/22/2005 06:50:00 p.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 09:35:00 p.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 09:55:00 p.m.|W|P|6/23/2005 03:56:00 p.m.|W|P|Chris Abraham|W|P|The bigger question is why someone who is 90% freckle is spending so much time tanning?6/24/2005 03:22:00 p.m.|W|P|Allan L.|W|P|Fat chicks rule.6/26/2005 09:45:00 p.m.|W|P|7/06/2005 06:05:00 p.m.|W|P|7/18/2005 03:39:00 p.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 12:35:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
Lohan, still has a few pounds to go before she hits her ideal weight, at least that's what her doctors told me. I actually never met her doctors, but judging by her tits, she's still packin' heat. Her cocaine habit has done her some good, so let this be a lesson to all you girls out there with low self esteem and a negative body-image, just get yourself an 8-ball and everything will work itself out...you can be a rockstar for the day, and if you're lucky, maybe you'll lose that fat ass your boyfriend pretends he likes, because you are the only bitch dumb enough to fuck him.
|W|P|111889657691925457|W|P|I am - Lohan as Monroe|W|P|6/16/2005 01:17:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 01:23:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 01:42:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 03:23:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 05:25:00 a.m.|W|P|
Perhaps we could resolve this problem by having Lohan snort Hilton up her nose, and then dying from overdosing on the incredible amount of coke that circulates throughout Paris' body at any one time.
Either that or deport them to Antartica.6/16/2005 09:31:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 10:07:00 a.m.|W|P|I'd take Vida Guerra's or Mya's ass over both these emaciated,wannabe whore-brities.
now that i have a permanent mental image of Vida's booty in my mind, can you tell me more about this "Mya"? pics?6/16/2005 10:09:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 10:16:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 09:36:00 p.m.|W|P|MrBozack|W|P|Fuck all of you losers. They both may be coked out whores but you all know you jacked your 2 inch dicks to Paris' sex video. You angry bitches probably bought the fucking tape before you realized it was totally free all over the net. Why else would you homos have such distaste for these high quality sluts?6/18/2005 10:12:00 a.m.|W|P|11/10/2005 11:21:00 a.m.|W|P|rodd11|W|P|recette de cuisine | skype | tablature guitare | tarot | telecharger acrobat | telecharger antivirus | telecharger antivirus gratuit | telecharger chanson | telecharger clone cd | telecharger codec divx | telecharger divx | telecharger divx gratuit | telecharger divx gratuitement | telecharger divx player | telecharger emoticone | telecharger emoticone gratuit | telecharger emule | telecharger emule gratuit | telecharger e mule gratuit | telecharger emule gratuitement | telecharger e mule gratuitement | telecharger fr | telecharger kazaa en francais | telecharger kazaa gratuit | telecharger kazaa gratuitement | telecharger kazaa lite | telecharger logiciel divx telecharger messenger | telecharger messenger 7.5 | telecharger mp3 | telecharger msn 7.5 | telecharger msn 7.5 francais | telecharger msn gratuitement | telecharger msn mesenger | telecharger msn messager | telecharger msn messenger 7.5 | telecharger msn messenger 8.0 | telecharger msn messenger gratuit | telecharger msn messenger gratuitement | telecharger msn plus | telecharger music mp3 | telecharger musique gratuite | telecharger nero | telecharger nero 6 | telecharger nero gratuit | telecharger nero gratuitement | telecharger norton antivirus | telecharger norton antivirus 2005 | telecharger shareaza | telecharger shareaza gratuit | telecharger shareaza gratuitement | telecharger skype | telecharger winamp | telecharger winzip | telecharger winzip gratuit | telecharger yahoo messenger | winmx | zodiaque | zone alarm ad aware | antivirus | antivirus gratuit | bitdefender | blague blonde | blague humour | clone cd | edonkey | emule | emule telecharger | firewall | horoscope chinois | jeux a telecharger | kazaa | kazaa lite | kazaa lite telecharger | kazaa telecharger | logiciel antivirus | logiciel a telecharger | messenger 7.5 | messenger msn | mp3 gratuit | mp3 telecharger | msn 7.5 telecharger | msn-messenger 7.5 | msn messenger 7.5 telecharger | msn telecharger | musique mp3 | nero | nero 6 | nero burning | nero burning rom | norton 2005 | norton antivirus 20056/16/2005 12:33:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
The wind is a man's best friend especially when the bitch who gets caught in the wind is wearing a short skirt, not necessarily when Chloe Sevigny is that girl, cuz she is busted. It would have been nice if the movie kids was a documentary and bitch actually had HIV, which would be full blown AIDS by now and she'd be in a hospital bed, out of the public eye. She may not have AIDS but she looks like she's got some kind of STD, but in this upskirt her underwear isn't soiled. I am surprised she actually has underwear, from my experience most crackwhores sell that shit for more rock.
|W|P|111889650685366725|W|P|I am - Chloe Sevigny Upskit|W|P|6/16/2005 01:27:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 12:32:00 p.m.|W|P|spencer|W|P|we love chloe sevigny and all her indie blowjobs6/17/2005 05:52:00 p.m.|W|P|
may you burn in hell6/17/2005 10:22:00 p.m.|W|P|Derek|W|P|I think she is hot but not in a Jessica Simpson kind of hot way she is different6/18/2005 12:14:00 p.m.|W|P|
Damn...guess I wasn't really paying attention.
Guess I'll have to watch that clip again.6/16/2005 12:32:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| Who the fuck is this bitch who has gone to prove my point that all bitches, no matter how fat they are, feel the need to wear see-through clothes, it's like they don't have motherfucking mirrors in their house, to warn them that it's a bad idea. This bitch is going out for her birthday and decided to wear a sheer dress, lucky for us, she's wearing underwear. Judging by her neck, no one in their right mind would wanna see this pussy and by pussy, I mean her vagina, and I have a feeling it smells like donuts...you like that don't you, slob.
|W|P|111889640533947764|W|P|I am - Leelee Sobieski Fat|W|P|6/16/2005 03:05:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 03:09:00 a.m.|W|P|
Leelee is super thin what comes to people in USA...6/16/2005 03:21:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 09:32:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 10:00:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 01:17:00 p.m.|W|P|
Same is true of course for Europe. They are getting more obese (trying to catch America very hard :) ) too all the time.
Leele obviously had no clue about the 'photo flash effect'......6/16/2005 11:48:00 p.m.|W|P|6/17/2005 04:12:00 p.m.|W|P|6/19/2005 07:22:00 a.m.|W|P|6/20/2005 05:45:00 p.m.|W|P|6/21/2005 03:04:00 a.m.|W|P|MrBozack|W|P|is Samoa a country? or is it just another fat gook island nation we own?6/22/2005 04:20:00 p.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 07:30:00 p.m.|W|P|6/23/2005 03:53:00 p.m.|W|P|Chris Abraham|W|P|That is the wideness of the lens, the angle of the photo, and position she is in. What is the shape you're interested in?9/26/2005 08:27:00 a.m.|W|P|marissa|W|P|I really enjoyed your content on Funny Picturesand will be back very frequently! I actually have my own Funny Pictures Exposed blog with all kinds of stuff in it. You�re welcome to com by.6/16/2005 12:29:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
No matter how much money you have, you can't supress bodily functions. This bitch is sweating like a motherfucker and it's not cuz she's obese, it's probably cuz she's jacked up on diet pills or some shit, that's all the rage in California and Paris has a few pounds to loose, that fat slut. I know - she's pregnant and that's why she's getting married, a little shotgun wedding to save face for the family, I think Paris ruined that a while ago, when she was filmed fucking...you may remember that who ordeal, I doubt anything exciting has happened in your life since. Pregnant or not, she is not as fat as my stupid wife who sweats when she's watching TV. Not that we can afford cable but bitch always finds a way....
|W|P|111889631881871585|W|P|I am - Paris Hilton's Titty Sweat|W|P|6/16/2005 12:37:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 01:37:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 09:08:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 11:19:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 09:13:00 p.m.|W|P|6/17/2005 12:38:00 p.m.|W|P|6/19/2005 04:42:00 a.m.|W|P|sonnys circus|W|P|I think you have some sort of problem with woman paris is not fat at all her body fat is at like 3 percent I think you must be an overweight , closet Homo or somthing but we all have our rights to an opinion keep writing here so we can all have a laugh at the lack of any substance in your obvious crys to want to be free and just let go and come out of the clset suck a dick ,, you know you wanna .. lol.........6/19/2005 06:48:00 a.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 02:47:00 p.m.|W|P|7/01/2005 03:11:00 p.m.|W|P|
Her and the dude were fighting. That is why the old guy is pulling her away. He is probably the driver (notice the freakin car behind them?) In both pics-look at the expressions on both of their faces. They are drunk and angry. Conclusion about the wetness on her shirt: a drink got spilled in the car during the fight. Happy dumbasses? LOL6/16/2005 12:28:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
Any boy loving pervert would be all over this shit, and by the looks of it so would this homo. An ideal situation would be to get with both the before and after - at the same time - but clearly only a fantasy you pervert - as it would be impossible - unless you had a time machine - which you don't ...at least you have your imagination and these pics, pervert! I get mad criticized for being a boy lover, because I like my girls skinny. I only like my girls skinny cuz I married fat and you always like what you don't have. I figure if I get accused of the shit, I will act on it. All gay content all the time, you closet case fat chick loving cocksucker.
|W|P|111889616689018954|W|P|I am - Kid from Jerry Maguire|W|P|6/16/2005 01:23:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 03:02:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 03:05:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 09:55:00 p.m.|W|P|MrBozack|W|P|cute kid? I just watched Jewey Maguire for the 1st time and I wanted to bash the fucking kids head in with a hammer. Or was that Tom Cruise's closet homo head I wanted to bash in?6/17/2005 02:53:00 p.m.|W|P|6/19/2005 03:13:00 a.m.|W|P|6/22/2005 04:14:00 p.m.|W|P|6/24/2005 05:15:00 p.m.|W|P|drastic|W|P|jesus christ, hes such a fag. looks perfect for one of those lord of the ring movies.6/29/2005 04:18:00 p.m.|W|P|6/15/2005 08:37:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
I love Lohan, it's just that simple. She looks better than ever and I would totally leave my wife for her, not because of her money but because of the love. I only tease her on the site about being a cokeslut and fat because I want her to notice me. Lohan can you hear me? That's all I have to say about that - and if you look closely you'll see nipple - you fucking pervert.
|W|P|111883925300845317|W|P|I am - Lovin' Lohan|W|P|6/15/2005 08:57:00 a.m.|W|P|6/15/2005 12:20:00 p.m.|W|P|6/15/2005 01:17:00 p.m.|W|P|6/15/2005 04:04:00 p.m.|W|P|6/15/2005 04:33:00 p.m.|W|P|
dude in back on left
god you are an ugly motherfucker6/15/2005 07:16:00 p.m.|W|P|Dale Cruse|W|P|Dude in back on left looks like Eric Bogosian.6/15/2005 07:47:00 p.m.|W|P|6/15/2005 08:15:00 p.m.|W|P|MrBozack|W|P|I did notice the nipple in the first pic. Does anyone notice one of her eyes is kinda different in these pics? She must've did her last lines on that side. I know this because the same shit happened to my eye this past weekend. Good coke.6/16/2005 06:39:00 a.m.|W|P|6/16/2005 11:37:00 a.m.|W|P|6/21/2005 04:22:00 a.m.|W|P|7/02/2005 02:34:00 a.m.|W|P|6/14/2005 10:56:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| I have recently applied for a job as the part-time summer editor at Fleshbot. I am pretty sure I am not going to get it because I never get anything I ever want and people generally hate me. They probably also require a university education, writing experience and all that shit. I don't know how to fucking write...or what grammar is, except for maybe Kelsey, I used to role with that cat back in his coke days, before he married some stripper bitch with huge implants who was in Playboy about 10 years ago and I remember her having blonde pubes which is totally wild, anyway..point of the post is to get you to petition for DrunkenStepfahter.com to be the Fleshbot summer editor by emailing Fleshbot and tellin them what's best for them.
This is the mail link
Read my application email - after the jump - warning - it's not funny
Subject:Fleshbot Job Application
Welcome to my email. My name is Jesus Martinez and I blog for you. I have a website called drunkenstepfather and have had about 4,000,000 readers since I started in January. I am the best person for the Fleshbot because of passion, my passion for reaching out to people and making their life a little better. We live in a cold scary world and I am doing my part to make it a better place.
I believe that with the support of Fleshbot, I can achieve my dreams, I just need you to believe in me. Like every person with a dream, accepting the fact that I don’t have what it takes to make it on my own is the first step to getting there. The help of others, who have skills where I am seriously lacking, is needed to “take it up a notch”. Even Hitler had dreams and, without all the support of Germany would have never achieved them. I am not like Hitler, but I like to believe you are the Germany I would need if I was. I would write a sample blog entry, but I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise. However, you may want to check out your emails over the last 6 months, you are bound to find pictures and posts that you have linked to, including today’s Hung T-Shirts.
I look forward to your response,
|W|P|111876121304091136|W|P|I am - Fleshbot Summer Editor Petition|W|P|6/14/2005 11:10:00 a.m.|W|P|
Also, focus more on what you have accomplished more than your passions. Everyone can write about passion, but few have a huge website. Don't be so artsy farts dreamy with "Oh, I have dreams and together we can save the world!" You are going to write for a fuckable flashlight, comon.
Lastly, tell them why they want you. Say with your website and publicity, plus your writing skills (which are obvious since you have 4 mil readers) you can make them a lot of money and give them many more customers. That is why they will want to hire you.6/14/2005 11:17:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|The Hitler thing and the passion/dreams thing was just jokes.
I just felt it was out of character to care about dreams and making people happy when all I really care about is getting drunk and having fun.
Good advice though, can we cuddle?
And the 4,000,000 readers aren't active readers, 4,000,000 perverts have landed on the site, I was exagerating....6/14/2005 11:26:00 a.m.|W|P|
And no, we can't cuddle. But I'll fuck you in the ass if you want.6/14/2005 12:21:00 p.m.|W|P|
If Jesus can't do it, no one can.
tony@usemycomputer6/15/2005 01:28:00 a.m.|W|P|
You've had 4 million visits since January, not 4 million readers. While you might try to offend the fuck out of people, you aren't offending them so much that they don't return ever.
That's not to say that you're doing a good job, though. You're still a fucking faggot Stile-wannabe. So eat a dick, pop a Schlitz and shut the fuck up about your dreams.
Thank you for your almost-undivided fucking attention.6/15/2005 02:26:00 a.m.|W|P|Otty|W|P|Nothing wrong with King Cobra. That is some top malt there. I hope you get the job though, Jesus. Fleshbot would be lucky to get your perverted mind!!6/15/2005 08:51:00 a.m.|W|P|elitvak|W|P|ehh......
from a hiring stance (and I'm not sure how serious the summer editor position is), but that hitler comment was, as Ali G says, a nisht nisht.6/14/2005 10:42:00 a.m.|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
If you don't remember the mystery ass that made it's rounds on the internet, like a cokewhore makes her rounds at a jetsetter event, then you must be homo. There is nothing wrong with being homo, but one would think that you would love ass more than any straight guy considering that is your vice, even a girl's ass is better than no ass, that's why gay guys everywhere fuck their girls up the ass when there's no cock around. I am pretty sure that's a fact. If you want a reminder of the pics that were circulating click here HERE. Leave it up to Maxim to hunt down some crazy south american internet chick to get her to pose in their mag, that is some serious CIA shit. I had enough trouble trying to find directions to my stepdaughter's highschool graduation ceremony on mapquest, bitches
|W|P|111876022097809481|W|P|I am - Keyra Augustina's Ass in Maxim|W|P|6/14/2005 12:52:00 p.m.|W|P|6/14/2005 01:42:00 p.m.|W|P|6/15/2005 01:51:00 a.m.|W|P| |W|P|oh my! this is the shit you should be posting Jesus Martinez, good work |W|P|nice little cornhole |W|P|Dear fag, |W|P|Hire Him. |W|P|Just trying to help man. Maybe if you get the job you can put up better content and drink Guiness rather than King Cobra. ;) |W|P|Dude, not bad but please don't tell me you actually used the Hitler analogy. That is just horrible, it doesn't make someone want to hire you. That is like saying. "I am good for the job because like my idol, Stalin, I get the job done no matter what. I'm not saying I kill people, but I get the job done the same way." Not good. |W|P|sdfu nigger |W|P|maybe its cuz im a skinny nigga buh fuck i like my women with a little meat on them. So i can c the ripple effect wen im beating that pussy up doggy-style |W|P|Dude in the picture looks like ex marine-core |W|P|Damn look at the size of that hand. |W|P|can anyone smell the vague aroma of freshly toasted under-maintained coke anus? |W|P|first pic |W|P|You want to know what's wrong with her face? Last time she was sucking my dick she started biting and I fucking hate it when she bites. I had to beat her upside the head with my dick just to get her to stop biting. BONG! |W|P|WTF is wrong with her face in the second pic? Who beat her with the big ugly stick and didn't stop. it's like rodney king all over again. |W|P|Yuck! Sure, there was a time when she was pretty damn cute, but she now looks like the walking dead. Except the walking dead don't use tanning booths... |W|P|where did you get your xray specs? |W|P|He could be the new Golem |W|P|Rick Moranis? Could be. I can see the next movie now "Honey I turned that cute kid from Jerry Maguire into fucking retard". I think I should go copyright this now. BONG! |W|P|he looks like that retard, Rick Moranis. |W|P|What do you mean "turned into"? He looked like he had an extra chromosome in Jerry Maguire, too. |W|P|Damn, jew boy sounded especially pissed off in this post. Cheer up fuckface :-) |W|P|Jesus did you watch Jerry Maguire on TNT too? |W|P|Ha ha - the "cute kid from Jerry Maguire" turned into a fucking retard!!!! |W|P|You're all a bunch of freaks! You would make horrible detectives too. Here's what happen you bunch of perverted spazzes: |W|P|She has bald patches from her extensions. Gross |W|P|to me, it looks like a combo of coke snot and tit sweat,one of the finest adesives know to man. the shirt is toast. |W|P|Spilled spunk. |W|P|definitly sweating see the glistning chest obvious probably just got done clubbing |W|P|Paris is such a coke whore, look at her. |W|P|Probally Jisim |W|P|what is with the strange cretin in the volcom hat reaching for her arm? he's going to give me nightmares... |W|P|That's a stain. Like she spilled her Coke (the cola, for once!) on the front of her shirt. Look at her pits. She's not sweating... |W|P|She looks about the same to me asshole. |W|P|Funny how much the eurotrash despises the US but can't get enough of our culture. When they get a superstar they leave and come to America, where they are free to leave their berets, lederhosen and bad teeth behind. |W|P|I'd spread that fat ass and lick a pussy that tastes like doughnuts anyday. Notice she's got big panties on, not a thong. That means she probably doesn't shave that puffy poon. Mmmmm, hairy doughnut, sweet! |W|P|Hmmm I have a funny feeling Germany and Japan sure have McDonalds' now though.... |W|P|The United States has never been involved in a conflict with a country which had a McDonalds |W|P|call us americans fat, we will bomb your country. |W|P|It's indeed a fact that USA is the most obese of the Western Nations (all countries ?) and getting worse. |W|P|and we wonder why the world hates us? |W|P|americans are fat blah blah blah. whoever wrote that is obviously a fat piece of euro trash and can suck my kids out of my balls anytime he wants. you fucking pussy, id fuck your moms fat anus all day, so i could shed my fat american pounds... |W|P|she does has a fat face , her body is ok |W|P|If that's fat then all of Americans are fat because every American I have have been way worse tahn that.... |W|P|Donuts are yummy! |W|P|She swallowed in 'The Brown Bunny'? |W|P|In the name of Chloe Almighty. There is only one goddess, to whom we shall all return. I would like to inform all intrepid Muslims in the world that the author of this blasphemy, which has been compiled, printed, and published in opposition to the most one,as well as those publishers who were aware of its contents, have been sentenced to death. |W|P|Don't drop her in the grinder until you see her Brown Bunny blow-job scene. She gives a fair, ahem, performance(if you call swallowing the poor chap's mini meat something to snip and post on the wall about)and she swallows. I mean, she swallows. Dude,Hollywood is rule by whores, metrasexuals(aka men who wear everything two sizes too small) and queens. |W|P|i really think she looks good in that pic but she looks gross without all that makeup. i went to SNL finale and she looked good from far away but when you went up close, you can see makeup just piled onto her face. (the other cast members didn't have that much on at all) |W|P|i think i figured out what it is about Paris Hilton that makes me wanna go postal - her goddamn long-ass salami nose. that shit is off the charts oogly. didn't she have shitloads of cosmetic surgery? wasn't her nose one of those surgeries? she needs to sue that surgeon. how that front bulb droops down and her nostrils flare up - not to mention how if you look at her straight on it looks like she has a stick of pepperoni for a nose. the ugly slutbag |W|P|yeah that middle pic is awesome. Paris looks like she's got Down's Syndrome. and Lohan - she needs to use some of that bleach for her hair on those damn freckles - not feelin the freckles at all. |W|P| |W|P|Jesus, You drunk silly bastard, answer your emails I am trying to get you to link to www.twistedtopics.com and you never respond. You should apply there for a summer job those sick fuckers would hire your drunk lazy ass. |W|P|I thougtht that famous women were meant to be hot? These are two of the ugliest little ding-a-lings in celebrity shots that I've seen in a long time. |W|P|i'd hit it with bar of lard |W|P|'nuff said. |W|P|As a man( my confirmation email arrived this morning from God) I'd take Vida Guerra's or Mya's ass over both these emaciated,wannabe whore-brities. |W|P|Anyone else think the two girls in the middle picture are fucking ugly? Don't know who they are but the one on the left reminds me of that hot chick with big tits we all cared about 6 months ago. The other girl, I'm sure, is just a whore. |W|P|What a fat bitch! |W|P|I think anybody that would call cameron, lindsay, or rebecca fat, must have a really fat girlfriend, or they are so ugly and nasty that they know they will never get a girlfriend. So they are just complete dicks. I've met people like you and I feel really sorry that you will never be happy or will you truly be in love. |W|P|Dude! You calling this girl fat is like me calling you funny. Fat chicks don't have vertebrae sticking out of their backs like a fucking stegosaurus! I think she just needs to switch from the cocaine & bar hopping diet to working out a little more - maybe yoga or pilates. Most of what you are commenting on is bloat from too much cocaine & booze. BTW, how fat are you? |W|P|3 tons O' fun!!!! |W|P|gunt= gut+ cunt |W|P|Say, what is a gunt anyway? |W|P|Ok she is nearly showing us her pussy in one of the pictures and cuz of that... She looks hott!!! |W|P|you know what else is getting old, evyone bitching that its getting old... |W|P|Your act is getting old. |W|P|Fat, skinny...who gives a damn (in this case). She's nasty and no amount of vocabulary's gonna change it. |W|P|I sense alot of anger here!wheres the love. skinny girls do have fat places and i think you need to face up to it! |W|P|readership, and neADerthals....you worked nowhere dick |W|P|shut the fuck up NYkid420, or should i say Jesus Martinez, PHAGGOT! |W|P|i bet youre relly proud of yourself for that. but seriously, leave the rest of us out of your homosexual attration to the stepfather. or least try not to make it so blatant. |W|P|ill give you all a nice, shiney quarter to shut the fuck up. |W|P|Were just sick of his weback repeitive crap that wasnt funny the first time much less after its been worn out. |W|P|Carl, |W|P|you idiots, he's just using ironic hyperbole, and it's stupid, and you're FALLING FOR IT...retards. |W|P|It's a ploy for Lindsey to show her ass to the funny little mexican and prove to him she is not fat. |W|P|i say ur stupid for calling her fat but ur mexican so that explains it all |W|P|I'd fuck her then do all her coke and rob the bitch! |W|P|Dude,what do you mean she's fat, she has a smaller ass than a G.1 Joe action figure's( Not that I check out a toy's rear end or anything,but I'm just saying). Lohan looks like a bleached corpse in pink Old Navy bikini,her body is shot to shit and her sucken in ass looks like a loaf of bread in the vaccum of space. She was better when she had the cannondales( for those ebonically unfamiliar the word 'cannondale' means "sweatermonsters','chesthandles', 'boobies' or 'cock warmers'. |W|P|Brendon you little faggot! I told you to get off this fucking page. Goddamnit what is wrong with this little bitch. Ooooh, who are these mysterious posts from? Look we all know little Lindsey is an anorexic coke-whore. but the truth is she is still a fat chick. she will ALWAYS be a fat chick. just like you brendon, brandon, brendan. God, i really hate you. anyway, she looks like dogshit with her bleached blonde hair, coke-red nose and she DOES have cankles. |W|P|wow, no shit stains on her undies. |W|P|No shit. Jesus, you suck more dick than a fairy in the Castro. Find some good shit, instead of this lame-ass "Oh look, I think I see the OUTLINES of a nipple!" Fucking please. You ignorant wannabe. Queerbait. |W|P|oops sorry for the double post |W|P|Not fat at all. But please mr photographer... Focus focus..... |W|P|Not fat at all. But please mr photographer... Focus focus..... |W|P|boring.. ill rip on women who woudlnt give me the time of day and who are waaay outta my league in looks. This site is starting to suck badly. |W|P|A stepfather who thinks one gets slimmer ankles by losing weight must've been drunken too often. |W|P|I agree, You calling chicks fat is getting really played out and dumb. Find some knew stuff fast, You sinking!!! |W|P|she's just too pale |W|P|If you think she is fat you have issues. Im sure your wife/gf is 2x her size. |W|P|I hate to say it, but your calling-skinny-girls-fat-schtick is getting old really fast. |W|P|you can fuck me up the ass I love it,and am really horned up thanks to hubby giving up the ass. |W|P|You are a DICK! |W|P|its a fucking tragedy when a fine bitch like this just lets it all go. fuck her, fuck her in her stupid ass! |W|P|good mutherfuckin god. What's with the body shape all gone WRONG. And that stomach. |W|P|Filthy hooker!!! |W|P|Yes, probably the biggest fattest woman I have ever seen in my life. Makes some of those Russian mothers down on Brighton Beach look like supermodels. What an elephant.* |W|P|Another hottie turned fattie, what up wit dat? Don't get me wrong, I'd still hit it. I would just have to remember what she looked like in the movie "The Mask". And if you were wondering,yes, I'd be wearing a mask when I mount up on this shamu & free willy. BONG! |W|P|kinda like a giant condom |W|P|and the point is??????????? |W|P|Space bags! Save space and vacuum seal your bitch!!!! |W|P|She has enough money she should have to pick her own wedgies. Hell, I do it for her. And if she don't want me puting my hands all over her, worry not I'll pick it with my tongue. BONG! |W|P|That's no wedgie... She's just makin' sure Johnny Knoxville's spuge isn't leakin' outta her ass and running down her leg! |W|P|Here's some Burger King... Show me your tit |W|P|Shame its such a FAKE! |W|P|put them back! for the love of god put those dirty old titties AWAY |W|P|Big, brown floppy tit and the smell of greasy Burger King Onion Rings... SWEET! |W|P|looks like britney spears in five years....watch |W|P|He's getting fat with Britney. |W|P|Dude looks like Orlando Bloom. |W|P|Who cares! You can't tell white trash apart anyway. |W|P|That's not Federline! That's something even more tragic.... Some douchebag trying to look like Federline!! |W|P|Hey Jesus. Love you Canada boy. |W|P|i know brendan, brandon or some stupid fuckhole who would like to be him, has it hard for Lindsey. Eat me you fat little faggot. I hate you stupid cocksuckers who cannot take a joke. Even if it's a bad or stupid joke. Who cares? go somewhere else. if it's so queer then why are you compelled to post comments? Gee, something must really get to you. faggots. |W|P|Jesus: congrats on your fleshbot gig! |W|P|What the FUCK! Lindsey Lohan (Skeet Skeet Skeet) Your a fuckin' fuckin' sick motherfucker! |W|P|It's a true honor to post on this site right after L. Lohan herself!! A little advice for L.L. though... Next time you apply your fake as hell tan cream, you might wanna take off your tube socks and rub some on those fugly ass cankles you're sportin' |W|P|Dear Faggot (AKA Jesus Martinez), you suck so much dick, why not just kill yourself right now, the only reason you live is for others amusement, your mum dosent love you, she only says that so she can lick your anus without you telling your dad (who licks your anus aswell). man this world is not meant for you, just do it man, just hang yourself, this world can be cruel to faggots like you, and when you get past the age of 10 you will realise that you should have done it a long time ago, and wishing to yourelf you listened to me *sigh*. Heres a poem i made for you: 'you are gay, Jesus Martinez, you will always be gay, jump off a cliff faggot, cut your throat, slit your wrists, poke your eyes out with a fork, do whatever you must, just do it, do us all a favour faggot' CHORUS: no one likes you faggot, your getting teased just like you used to in high school, jump off a cliff, just do it, just do it, just do it, just do it. and btw post something good you little faggot. |W|P|hahahaha diet coke. |W|P|I'm fascinated by your website and I will continue to visit you! Thanks for the "crudeness", it's quite refreshing!!! Blog On!!!! |W|P|it's not being 19 that made her damaged goods, it's: |W|P|hey i had to reformat my computer and lost all my original lohan nip slip pics, anyone know where i can get em back? many thanks. |W|P|^^ |W|P|JM: |W|P| |W|P|She was hot before she jammed silicone in her titties. Now she's just pathetic b/c even at her pre-op hottness she thought she was fugly. Course, most hot chicks are like that. Theyre constantly worrying about what they dont have. Treat them like crap and theyll fall in love w/you. I'm sure her midget lover tells her she's ugly all the time. I would. |W|P|Fake or not, my penis will not turn them away. It prides itself in being an Equal Opportunity Tittie Fucker. BONG! |W|P|no problem bruddah |W|P|Jesus Martinez you fucking suck, post something good retard |W|P|Her post baby weight is non-existant because she has tummy tucks immediatly after giving birth. |W|P|Maybe she can keep her thighs and tummy trim by starving herself, but look at those breasts - despite the implants, they're showing the beginnings of babysag. |W|P|Fo' shizzle. and for Kevin Federline. |W|P|Yep, those watches are retard shit for niggers. |W|P|I'm with our good friend DeJesus on this... fix up Posh's piggy-pig nose and she's definitely hot. |W|P|it's easy to look that hot when you have nothing but play time & gajillions of dollars. |W|P|beckham could do better... |W|P|Well, the reason behind the bounce back to being very bangable again is due to the fact that big Dave has a wandering penis & she don't want to lose him. He's got hoes in every city he goes & he fucks them all. Then all I get are his sloppy seconds. Ok, maybe not Beckham's sloppy seconds, but Screech lets me have his. BONG! |W|P|yeah douchebag, use a dictionary next time |W|P|ahhhh, skeet skeet skeet....... |W|P|I have a feeling Jesus can't come to the phone right now... |W|P|jesus martinez can't be canadian so quit getting fucked by your boy friemd bubba and come post damn it! |W|P|itz canada day weekend you fuckfaces - he's probably drunk - as he should be! |W|P|IT'S JULY NOW FUCK-FACE, TRY UPDATING! |W|P|Well, looky here, "Jesus Martinez." For the entire period you in my room, I better not catch you standing up peeing. You sit down when you pee, you got that? Now get your fat ass on outta here. |W|P|u is a fucking moron |W|P|Motherfuckers take one more step, I'm kicking this nigga out the motherfucking window. |W|P|Forget the scar the ass is loose ! nothing worse then that. And when did jew boy turn into a spic ? |W|P|You dumb motherfuckers. It's called a liposuction scar. Grow a brain. And Jesus... you rock. Fuck these biatches. |W|P|"The poor boy can't help it, he's Mexican." |W|P|She hardly has any tits to milk with, |W|P|What is with all the bitchfaces posting? Shouldn't the comments be directed toward the topic at hand? I mean Justin the N'Stinker has branded his girlfriend like the cow that she is. That being said, I'd still like to milk those titties. BONG! |W|P|a message to Jesus Martinez ~ i want 36cent on the links list within 14 hours, failing to comply will result in password changed and drunken stepfather being shut down. |W|P|er as if you racist fuck! were not falling for it, we hope you die |W|P|Congrats on fleshbot. I bet you'll run that shit right into the motherfucking ground. Nice. |W|P|well, to be honest, jesus is a bit too bleeding edge for fleshbot. minxy would be perfect though. |W|P|"just letting you know you fucking rock on Fleshbot." |W|P|i'm not caring about Jokerface. just letting you know you fucking rock on Fleshbot.