4/28/2005 03:06:00 AM|W|P|Team Fuck|W|P|
The other day I was watching TV at my girlfriend's house, and turned to the Discovery Channel in hopes of seeing people getting eaten by sharks. What do I get instead of bloody shark death? FIT-TV.
FIT-TV has no business on the discovery chanel, it should be on The Comedy Network. Once i started watching it, I couldnt get past the fact that there are hundreds of women, accross the country, jumping around in thier living rooms to some homo in bicycle shorts. Perhaps i am just jealous because this motherfucker has a TVshow, biceps, and a tropical backdrop, but I dont think so.
I think people who workout all the time are lame. Do they think it will get them laid? I weigh 140 soaking wet, and have a hard time carrying groceries to my car. However, my girlfriend is hot, and we have sex...on weekends...when its dark...and shes drunk. My point is, to quote fight club, "self improvment is just masturbation, but self destruction...now that takes a real man".
So heres to drinking, smoking, drug abuse and having sex with hot chicks.
Team Fuck - Supporting The Little Guy.
|W|P|111467436042524475|W|P|I Am - Team Fuck Does Workout Shows|W|P|4/28/2005 08:43:00 AM|W|P|4/28/2005 11:59:00 AM|W|P|Team Fuck|W|P|funny, your down-syndrome sister said the same thing.
except i think she said "id like if my diet consisted of 90% semen"
and i like to help out the retards whenever i can..4/28/2005 12:45:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|last time I had sex with a downs syndrome sister, she didn't say much, it was totally mutters and yelps....
i am joking
she loved me and we had a lasting relationship, she was my soulmate, too bad she got hit by a bus....
I am just feeling a little mad as of late.4/29/2005 12:34:00 PM|W|P|5/01/2005 05:53:00 PM|W|P|
this guy can't possibly have a girlfriend9/30/2005 07:19:00 PM|W|P|alena|W|P|Nice Blog!!! It looks like you've spent a fair amount of time setting it up and keeping the content fresh. I'll be sure to come back.
I have a online dating blog. It pretty much covers uk dating agency related stuff.
Thanks again and keep up the good work.11/09/2005 10:30:00 AM|W|P|rodd11|W|P|recette de cuisine | skype | tablature guitare | tarot | telecharger acrobat | telecharger antivirus | telecharger antivirus gratuit | telecharger chanson | telecharger clone cd | telecharger codec divx | telecharger divx | telecharger divx gratuit | telecharger divx gratuitement | telecharger divx player | telecharger emoticone | telecharger emoticone gratuit | telecharger emule | telecharger emule gratuit | telecharger e mule gratuit | telecharger emule gratuitement | telecharger e mule gratuitement | telecharger fr | telecharger kazaa en francais | telecharger kazaa gratuit | telecharger kazaa gratuitement | telecharger kazaa lite | telecharger logiciel divx telecharger messenger | telecharger messenger 7.5 | telecharger mp3 | telecharger msn 7.5 | telecharger msn 7.5 francais | telecharger msn gratuitement | telecharger msn mesenger | telecharger msn messager | telecharger msn messenger 7.5 | telecharger msn messenger 8.0 | telecharger msn messenger gratuit | telecharger msn messenger gratuitement | telecharger msn plus | telecharger music mp3 | telecharger musique gratuite | telecharger nero | telecharger nero 6 | telecharger nero gratuit | telecharger nero gratuitement | telecharger norton antivirus | telecharger norton antivirus 2005 | telecharger shareaza | telecharger shareaza gratuit | telecharger shareaza gratuitement | telecharger skype | telecharger winamp | telecharger winzip | telecharger winzip gratuit | telecharger yahoo messenger | winmx | zodiaque | zone alarm ad aware | antivirus | antivirus gratuit | bitdefender | blague blonde | blague humour | clone cd | edonkey | emule | emule telecharger | firewall | horoscope chinois | jeux a telecharger | kazaa | kazaa lite | kazaa lite telecharger | kazaa telecharger | logiciel antivirus | logiciel a telecharger | messenger 7.5 | messenger msn | mp3 gratuit | mp3 telecharger | msn 7.5 telecharger | msn-messenger 7.5 | msn messenger 7.5 telecharger | msn telecharger | musique mp3 | nero | nero 6 | nero burning | nero burning rom | norton 2005 | norton antivirus 20054/28/2005 12:46:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| There is something amazing about breast feeding, I think it mainly has to do with the fact that I am a huge fan of dressing up like a baby and sucking on my wife's tits, soiling my diaper, and having her change me while telling me how I am such a good little boy. I think this is also because I was neglected as a child, I don't think I was breast fed at all and if I was, it was probably of poor quality. My mom was a crack addicted prostitute, I can't imagine crack addict breastmilk having all the essential nutrients needed for baby to develop into an normal person. I have read stories that crack babies are born addicted, I guess I am lucky that I have no addictions, I only drink 26er of Jack and smoke a pack a day, dabble in various forms of drugs, mainly prescription pills, but I do it all recreationally, I guess I like recreation more than you do.
This is a video clip of some perverted, hungry baby and it gave me a great mid-afternoon erection.
Watch The Video Here
|W|P|111466013836000184|W|P|I am - Breast Feeding Video|W|P|4/28/2005 07:22:00 PM|W|P|E|W|P|That little bastard is gonna be QUITE the lady killer. TRUST.4/28/2005 08:29:00 PM|W|P|5/03/2005 05:54:00 AM|W|P|
Its all right, I'm a college football player turned metrasexual turned realist turned embittered agnostic,and I can relate to most of your comments( though partly borrowed from one of the best movies of the mid late 90s).
I think people who stick to making themselves out to be better than the rest of us, whether financially,physically, or anatomically, are just in for surprise when they die: the !@#$ doesn't fly with the big man upstairs. In heaven all the women are flat-chested and look like rosie o'donell and all the men have phalluses the size of Cocktail Weenies and hands the size of orges.9/26/2005 12:39:00 PM|W|P|marissa|W|P|I really enjoyed your content on Funny Picturesand will be back very frequently! I actually have my own Funny Pictures Exposed blog with all kinds of stuff in it. You�re welcome to com by.4/28/2005 12:44:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| Nobody cares, enough with the celeb nudity, it is boring, it's not very riveting, it doesn't stimulate any form of meaningful conversation, there are more important things going on to worry about a nipple... I expect more out of myself...it is a cheap way to get useless traffic (I am talking to you)....that said a couple more pics after the jump
|W|P|111465992740611979|W|P|I am - Melania Trump See Through Dress|W|P|4/28/2005 03:45:00 AM|W|P|cbbiscool|W|P|Can't say I ain't a fan of all the latest Hollywood "nipple slip" publicity stunts.
haha i say keep em comin4/28/2005 08:47:00 AM|W|P|4/28/2005 09:57:00 AM|W|P|4/28/2005 08:31:00 PM|W|P|4/29/2005 12:50:00 PM|W|P|4/30/2005 04:11:00 PM|W|P|4/28/2005 12:41:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| Bikini waxes are so played out it is not even funny. Everyone knows that the real hipsters are going back to their roots and keeping it real with bush, and hipsters are always right, thanks to them cocaine is popular again. There is nothing cool about having the same haircut as all your friends, so why do you want the same motherfucking pussyhair style as every girl. There is an element of excitment that comes when you see a girl in nothing but booty shorts with a plentiful bush showing through the top. I personally love the way it fills them out, like a magical pillow.
Bikini waxes are the equivalent of breast implants of the 90s, girls are rocking the shit because they are misinformed, they have been conditioned to hate hair because society tells them it's gross, much like small tittied bitches hated their racks back in the day because it made them feel inadequate. There is nothing sexier than running my fingers through a nice long bush, it's more exciting for me than petting my dog and I fucking live for that shit. For the record, this bitch is disgusting!
CLICK HERE FOR GALLERY FOOL
|W|P|111465983908018359|W|P|I am - Hairy Bitches Have All The Fun|W|P|4/28/2005 01:56:00 AM|W|P|4/28/2005 02:19:00 AM|W|P|Chris|W|P|You owe me a shirt, I puked on myself after looking at this gallery.4/28/2005 02:44:00 AM|W|P|
datecam.com/profiles/public/x/xk/xkatx_big.jpg4/28/2005 08:42:00 AM|W|P|4/28/2005 01:06:00 PM|W|P|4/28/2005 08:35:00 PM|W|P|4/28/2005 10:34:00 PM|W|P|4/29/2005 06:17:00 AM|W|P|
Hairy armpits are the best
The shaven clean is to promote the young look and to encourage pedophile thoughts.
Women should not have to shave any of their bits.
Men and women have been trained over the last 100 years to feel sick and repulsed by natural hair growth.
As a man would you feel inclined to shave your armpits?
Of course not you think it would look funny and not manly.
Unshaven women show they can think for themselves.
Im a guy in case you think this is some lezzer talking.4/29/2005 02:50:00 PM|W|P|5/12/2005 01:13:00 PM|W|P|
The Perfect Woman - Full Gallery
Absolutely breathtaking!!4/27/2005 03:44:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|
Surface piercings make no sense to me, I remember when I was young, we used to get bored in class and shove sharp pencil's through the skin our arms, but that was back when pencils were actually made of lead, none of this non-toxic graphite pussy shit. I have no idea how today's youth is gonna man up, parents are so damn protective...not smoking in front of them, bike helmets, no trans fats, dude that's the shit we were made of and some of us are still alive, and not all of us produced flipper babies when that joyous time came...anyway kids are getting surface piercings, because they are not different enough as it is and they need to prove through extreme body mods that they are their own person. I am not complaining, these are amazing for tying a bitch to something or hanging her off the ceiling... That's my fucking story and if you didn't laugh, it's cool, because I get enough kicks laughing at you...
|W|P|111458786869532854|W|P|I am - Body Pierced Corsets|W|P|4/27/2005 05:23:00 AM|W|P|LBurner|W|P|stupid people nowadays... body modifications to "express" themselves. what exactly does poking a bunch of holes in your back say about your personality4/27/2005 10:59:00 AM|W|P|4/27/2005 12:55:00 PM|W|P|LBurner|W|P|i think vaginal rings would be much better...that way it would be like unwrapping a present...a soft wet present you stick your dick into5/01/2005 01:10:00 AM|W|P|5/16/2005 02:42:00 PM|W|P|stargirl|W|P| Maybe it says, "Hey, I like the Hellraiser movies!"
hahahaha! that's the best comment yet!5/31/2005 08:47:00 PM|W|P|Paulie|W|P|Unless you somehow managed to teleport from the 16th century, your claims of "[shoving] sharp pencil's through the skin our arms" is a crock of shit. Oh and, "That's my fucking story and if you didn't laugh, it's cool, because I get enough kicks laughing at you...", yeah...I'm laughing alright. Thanks for that.4/27/2005 03:41:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| So Lindsay has been a busy little celebrity coke fiend the last couple of weeks, good thing she's got the cocaine to fuel her, otherwise I don't know how she would pull it off. She has changed her hair on us, she has had her lips jacked up, her house has been broken in to, and I guess the list goes on an on. Throughout all these major tunring points in her recent life, she has still had the time to get to the clubs and red-carpet events to feed her need to be seen. Point of the post is that Lindsay's alive and kicking, and as the home of Lohan I had to deliver, even if the picture isn't really an upskirt. I know all you weirdos have the ability to imagine...I am pretty sure that's the foundation of your sex life. Without your imagination how could you possibly believe there is hope?
LATEST: LINDSAY LOHAN is convinced a so-called friend is behind the recent break-in at her Los Angeles home.
The MEAN GIRLS star was the victim of burglars while she was filming in New York earlier this month (APR05).
The criminals took more than $10,000 (GBP5,300) worth of electronic equipment, including two TV sets and a DVD player - and the actress is convinced she has some untrustworthy friends, who may know more about the robbery than they're telling the authorities.
She says, "I've been marking my money lately because I had a friend who was stealing from me."
|W|P|111458783788077212|W|P|I am - Lindsay Lohan Upskirt (kinda?!)|W|P|4/27/2005 07:28:00 PM|W|P|4/28/2005 08:39:00 PM|W|P|5/05/2005 08:30:00 AM|W|P|4/27/2005 03:39:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| People say that large penised individuals aren't social conscious people because they are too busy grabbing thier crotches and pulling their dicks out in public for innocent girls on the public transit line to enjoy. I guess force feeding people your penis is not always greeted with open arms, but you know when they grow up, hit puberty and find a penis of their own - your large penis will be branded in their minds...who am I kidding, you aren't well-endowed, otherwise you'd be out getting pussy and not sitting here writing posts, I mean...reading posts....Anyway, I like to go to the Large Penis Support Group to see what's up and this riveting conversation was started...and this is what he had to say....never trust middle school teachers with your children....
AFTER THE JUMP....
I am a retired teacher. I will later posts my opinions.
There is a middle school for fifth and sixth graders. There is a seven period scheule with five minutes between classes. It is a very large campus covering two large buildings in themselves.
The principal has a rule that all restroom going has to occur during those five minute changing times. No exceptons. Teachers allowing students to go to the restroom during class are written up. Three write ups get a teacher fired. The principal explained in the "all student and staff assembly" that if a student couldn't wait during class he "would have to use the restroom in his pants." All the teachers say that to their students. And the write up rule is known by the students.
Just the other day a sixth grade girl did have an emergency. The teacher explained to her in front of the entire class that she realized that she had an emergency but she would have to use the restroom in her pants because that is the rule. The girl sat there and cried and pleaded before she had an accident in class. The whole class knew it was going to happen and they knew that the teacher had no say in the matter at all.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS AS A POLICY? AND WHAT WERE THE RESTROOM RULES IN YOUR SCHOOL AND WHAT WERE THE CONSEQUENCES. GOOD OR BAD?
DO RULES LIKE THIS ENHANSE LEARNING IN THE CLASSROOM?
|W|P|111458769580765188|W|P|I am - Large Penis Support Group Post of the Day|W|P|4/27/2005 09:47:00 AM|W|P|4/27/2005 09:47:00 AM|W|P|4/27/2005 12:30:00 PM|W|P|4/27/2005 06:05:00 PM|W|P|4/28/2005 04:00:00 AM|W|P|Team Fuck|W|P|If I had the rule in my school, i would of peed on the floor.
Damn the man.4/30/2005 01:25:00 AM|W|P|
Improve may be easier to spell than enhance and is a sure thing for spell in the head types.5/02/2005 06:27:00 PM|W|P|5/04/2005 02:18:00 PM|W|P|5/04/2005 07:59:00 PM|W|P|
in any debate about education in which you want to speak (or write) from a position of strength, choose your words carefully.11/01/2005 07:59:00 AM|W|P|tele_emule|W|P| ad aware - antivirus - antivirus gratuit - bitdefender - blague blonde - blague humour - clone cd - edonkey - emule - emule telecharger - firewall - horoscope chinois - jeux a telecharger - kazaa - kazaa lite - kazaa lite telecharger - kazaa telecharger - logiciel antivirus - logiciel a telecharger - messenger 7.5 - messenger msn - mp3 gratuit - mp3 telecharger - msn 7.5 telecharger - msn-messenger 7.5 - msn messenger 7.5 telecharger - msn telecharger - musique mp3 - nero - nero 6 - nero burning - nero burning rom - norton 2005 - norton antivirus 2005 ad aware - antivirus - antivirus gratuit - bitdefender - blague blonde - blague humour - clone cd - edonkey - emule - emule telecharger - firewall - horoscope chinois - jeux a telecharger - kazaa - kazaa lite - kazaa lite telecharger - kazaa telecharger - logiciel antivirus - logiciel a telecharger - messenger 7.5 - messenger msn - mp3 gratuit - mp3 telecharger - msn 7.5 telecharger - msn-messenger 7.5 - msn messenger 7.5 telecharger - msn telecharger - musique mp3 - nero - nero 6 - nero burning - nero burning rom - norton 2005 - norton antivirus 200511/01/2005 08:02:00 AM|W|P|tele_emule|W|P| ad aware - antivirus - antivirus gratuit - bitdefender - blague blonde - blague humour - clone cd - edonkey - emule - emule telecharger - firewall - horoscope chinois - jeux a telecharger - kazaa - kazaa lite - kazaa lite telecharger - kazaa telecharger - logiciel antivirus - logiciel a telecharger - messenger 7.5 - messenger msn - mp3 gratuit - mp3 telecharger - msn 7.5 telecharger - msn-messenger 7.5 - msn messenger 7.5 telecharger - msn telecharger - musique mp3 - nero - nero 6 - nero burning - nero burning rom - norton 2005 - norton antivirus 2005 ad aware - antivirus - antivirus gratuit - bitdefender - blague blonde - blague humour - clone cd - edonkey - emule - emule telecharger - firewall - horoscope chinois - jeux a telecharger - kazaa - kazaa lite - kazaa lite telecharger - kazaa telecharger - logiciel antivirus - logiciel a telecharger - messenger 7.5 - messenger msn - mp3 gratuit - mp3 telecharger - msn 7.5 telecharger - msn-messenger 7.5 - msn messenger 7.5 telecharger - msn telecharger - musique mp3 - nero - nero 6 - nero burning - nero burning rom - norton 2005 - norton antivirus 20054/27/2005 03:38:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| Remember Baywatch, I know you do!!! You used to sit at home every saturday night to watch a bunch of women run around in their bathing suits. It's not your fault you weren't invited to that party. I would like to take this minute to blame Baywatch for the commercializing of breast implants, every bitch on this shit was an ex-stripper, and every ex-stripper has a certain augmented body part that helped them meet their quotas every month, by quotas I mean enough money to support their coke addictions. I would go as far to say as getting casted on Baywatch was the dream many of them had as they layed in bed thinking of what tomorrow has to bring. Gena Lee Nolin was one of those strippers, and she actually made it, big rubber titties and all. Here are some pics of slut at the beach, topless for all you motherfuckers to get a glimpse of her in all her glory. This is nothing new to all you motherfuckers who gave her 10 dollars for a lap dance, but it may be new to others....
More pics after the jump
|W|P|111458755773325079|W|P|I am - Gena Lee Nolin Topless Beach|W|P|4/27/2005 10:26:00 AM|W|P|4/27/2005 11:46:00 AM|W|P|5/02/2005 06:30:00 PM|W|P|5/03/2005 11:30:00 AM|W|P|4/27/2005 03:36:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|So have you ever been in a situation where you just finger-banging, or as my refined friends call it, "Digitizing", a dirty slag and you realize that your hand is burning and all swollen and shit?! I like to call that split finger fun and it usually ends up with some type of infection or disease, but dude admit finger-banging that chick was worth it, it made you feel like a man, especially considering you made her cum once. My advice is to keep the twiddling to a minimum and spend less time trying to please her, she is never gonna call you back either way, why give her a release when there's nothing in it for you. Straight motherfucker, keep your split fingers to your dirty self and if you must take that step in your sexual relationship, bust out a surgical glove because there is nothing hotter. Just tell her "this is gynecology...bitch".....By the way, or BTW for those in the know, this is an ugly shirt and there is nothing cool about baseball, despite what your friends may say.
|W|P|111458746640056912|W|P|I am - T-shirt of the Day|W|P|4/27/2005 03:33:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|So are you missing out on intimate moments in your life? Do you feel like life's got little to offer and that the thought of being at a pool with a girl is so foreign to you that it may as well be speaking another language, well stop being such a pussy and do what I do...look at pictures of famous people in their bikinis with their significant others, it brings hope to all of us. Here are some pics of Rachel Stevens, she may not be all that famous here, but when I used to watch SClub 7 with the girls she was definitely my favorite. It wasn't saying much considering the other girls looked like men, but it is still worth checking out her bikini pics.....
More after the jump
|W|P|111458737296661859|W|P|I am - Rachel Stevens in a Bikini Snogging|W|P|4/27/2005 09:42:00 AM|W|P|4/27/2005 11:49:00 AM|W|P|4/27/2005 12:35:00 PM|W|P|4/28/2005 08:44:00 PM|W|P|11/03/2005 11:15:00 AM|W|P|tele_emule|W|P|recette de cuisine - skype - tablature guitare - tarot - telecharger acrobat - telecharger antivirus - telecharger antivirus gratuit - telecharger chanson - telecharger clone cd - telecharger codec divx - telecharger divx - telecharger divx gratuit - telecharger divx gratuitement - telecharger divx player - telecharger emoticone - telecharger emoticone gratuit - telecharger emule - telecharger emule gratuit - telecharger e mule gratuit - telecharger emule gratuitement - telecharger e mule gratuitement - telecharger fr - telecharger kazaa en francais - telecharger kazaa gratuit - telecharger kazaa gratuitement - telecharger kazaa lite - telecharger logiciel divx - telecharger logiciel gratuit - telecharger messenger - telecharger messenger 7.5 - telecharger mp3 - telecharger msn 7.5 - telecharger msn 7.5 francais - telecharger msn gratuitement - telecharger msn mesenger - telecharger msn messager - telecharger msn messenger 7.5 - telecharger msn messenger 8.0 - telecharger msn messenger gratuit - telecharger msn messenger gratuitement - telecharger msn plus - telecharger music mp3 - telecharger musique gratuite - telecharger nero - telecharger nero 6 - telecharger nero gratuit - telecharger nero gratuitement - telecharger norton antivirus - telecharger norton antivirus 2005 - telecharger shareaza - telecharger shareaza gratuit - telecharger shareaza gratuitement - telecharger skype - telecharger winamp - telecharger winzip - telecharger winzip gratuit - telecharger yahoo messenger - winmx - zodiaque - zone alarm4/27/2005 03:17:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|So I am sitting in my lawyer's kosher kitchen a couple of days ago and I have the worst fucking hang over, my fucking head was pounding, I was dizzy and I had a throbbing pain in my side, probably my liver screaming for help. I hadn't slept in 2 days, and this bender was one of my finest, just Jack and me for 48 hours. I hadn't showered and I stank but luckily my lawyer's grandson had just recently had his barmitzvah, and Goldstein had a case of mints with his little cunts and image on name on it. I looked at it and said to myself this shit is tacky as fuck, it's got no street cred, it screams suburban upper-middle class, and it gave me heartburn. Give me a rolaid and another drink, bitch....
These mints have made the cut and are the Jewish Product of the day.....
2.25" w x 1.75" h x .5" deep. Mazel Mints are the perfect party favor for your Mitzvah. Various candy options available (included in price) that will make this simcha a tasty celebration. Mazel Mints are Star-K Kosher. Mint containers are a high quality hinged box
|W|P|111458722407838945|W|P|I am - Jewish Product of the Day|W|P|4/28/2005 08:46:00 PM|W|P|OY VEY!4/26/2005 12:24:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| This is an art collection by Sarah Lucas, I don't know who she is but this shit is hype. I have had many encounters with some pretty rank looking underwear, this is expected when you only hook up with homeless girls, but I have never had the opportunity to undress a girl and find dinner. Now there have been times in my life where I went hungry for a couple of days and shit, this would have come in fucking handy....I guess that's just how life always works out, things you needed once, only appear when you don't need them anymore. What the fuck am I talking about, dude could always use some chicken....
|W|P|111448956536086801|W|P|I am - Chicken Knickers|W|P|4/26/2005 12:20:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| So I haven't really been going to the Fleshlight message board all that often, it got a little depressing reading about all these dudes who are wasting good erections on rubber pussy, if I had the ability to get and maintain an erection, I would not be throwing them away to something that doesn't smell like a dumpster, I would be hunting the finest low quality women around, seducing them with drugs, a warm meal and a shower and inviting them back to my motel room for a romp with Jesus. Not many of you can say that, but that's only because of your name, blame your parents and not me. So I come across this post from this dude justifying that he isn't into a poofter. Motherfucker jerks off, possibly using his fleshlight to videos of other men rockin their fleshlights. I think the whole idea of watchin a dude jerk off is gay unto itself and the addition of a plastic pussy doesn't take away from that.
This dirty homegirl is obviously a little torn up inside about this shit, so he wrote a fuckin novel explaining that he doesn't wish the fleshlight in the video was his mouth, point of the story is that watching people's internal struggles with their sexuality is always fucking funny.....
You gots to read this shit and it is after the jump.....
Jesus, the homophobia on here is creepy. Get over it guys!
Look, I love the Fleshlight, I've been using them for three years, I'm TOTALLY STRAIGHT. I love women.
And I LOVE to watch fleshlight videos of other guys getting off with them. It gets me off so fucking good. Why? It has nothing to do with watching another guy's cock, as the tough lumberjack fellows on here have insisted.
ChuckB28 posted quite a few pics and vids of himself on here getting off with his Fleshlight. One in particular, is a vid of him fucking his fleshlight hands-free in a matress to a magazine pic of Angelina Jolie. It's one of the fucking hottest things I've ever seen, and I've gotten off to it many times. I told Chuck myself that I loved his vids for this reason, and I told him I got off to them. He thought it was very cool, and he understood completely that it wasn't a gay thing at all.
There are also a few Yahoo groups that I visit, where guys post pictures of their favorite female celebrities that they jerk off and cum on, and I think that is also very hot. To see a hot celeb spatterred with cum, it's like you know inside you would do that same thing if the picture was in front of you, and it's so deeply naughty and sexual to see someone else actually post a picture of that, it's the ULTIMATE voyeurism, and I think it's fantastic. Again, I'm not attracted to guy's cum.....I'm attracted to what he DID with his cum, which is the exact same thing I would do with a slutty picture of my favorite female celeb. Make sense?
I can tell you exactly, that when I'm watching him fuck his fleshlight to Angelina Jolie, it's like I'm watching myself as a horny guy alone in my room getting off to my favorite porn, it's as if I have a mirror into myself, like I'm watching me, and yet I know it's someone else. And that whole dynamic is electrifying. And, to go one step further, when I'm watching that vid, I'm not looking at his cock, I'm looking at what he's DOING with it. I'm looking at the picture that he's looking at, I'm watching him go in and out of his Fleshlight, and I match his movements. It's not an attraction to HIM, it's an attraction to what he's thinking as he's doing it.
What it has to do with is making a connection.....a VERY intimate and deep connection with another person. In this case, the connection is that I'm watching something very, very private, and I know that the guy is thinking the same thing I'm thinking as he's fucking his fleshlight....i.e. "I'm going to cum soon, I can't hold back, I'm thinking about my favorite porn star", etc. etc. etc. It's like your watching YOURSELF, and that intensifies the experience a thousand times.
I'll go you one better!! I'm more secure in my manhood and I'm more secure emotionally than the homophobes, because I can still stay in my complete straightness and yet share a very intimate and private connection with an anonymous guy, knowing that we are doing something for the exact same reason, and for the very same emotional and sexual rush. I am in no way attracted to a man's penis or his anatomy, YET I can totally get off within the context of knowing that what I'm watching is something that I can completely and fully relate to. And that is....NOT GAY. The word gay is so twisted around on here it's pathetic.
So.....to all the iron-man titan manly men on here.......here's my take - I get off with my Fleshlight in a way YOU will never be able to, you're missing out on an intense experience. Oh, if only you poor bastards could get over your homocreepiness......
|W|P|111448948567374467|W|P|I am - Fleshlight Post of the Day|W|P|4/26/2005 01:15:00 AM|W|P|madison's favorite son|W|P|i felt a connection with him. when i write, i now want to match his tone and pacing exactly. it isn't gay. i'm totally straight, i just want to feel what he feels when he writes.4/26/2005 01:23:00 AM|W|P|Team Fuck|W|P|sound slike you wanna feel his dick in your ass.4/26/2005 09:24:00 AM|W|P|4/27/2005 10:10:00 AM|W|P|Diedre|W|P|Noooooo....it's not a gay thing. Right.4/28/2005 05:02:00 AM|W|P|popeye666|W|P|Yeah. What's wrong with these guys, anyway?
I mean, sure, I like to watch porn videos, and, altho girl on girl is great, I will admit that I prefer seeing a guy whack a girl in every hole she has.
And I guess that does require that another guy's whacker is involved, which I don't turn away from when it's on the screen.
And I suppose I do prefer that he have as big a whacker as possible, as long and hard as possible, rather than small and flacid.
And, umm.... hmm, I did not know that about myself.4/28/2005 01:27:00 PM|W|P|
haha that's effin hilarious. I have absolutely nothing against gay people - but this guy's FUCT UP. Not only is he in utter homo-denial - but he also fuels he's ass fucking hunger fantasizing about a guy fucking a matress face down on a cum covered magazine.
MmmmmmmmmYA6/11/2005 09:56:00 AM|W|P|6/12/2005 04:50:00 PM|W|P|Mr.FlyHigh|W|P|Yeah - I know what he mean .. I m not gay ...but i dont mind seeing those vids ... btw here a link to some vids for those who dare ;-) Fleshlight Movies
... and I fucking love my fleshlights - i just got my second 342 super deal packet the other day - now i have 7 fleshlights - and i actually have a damn goodlooking gf as well ...wich love to play with them on me ... yeah - loosen up ..have fun.. explore9/26/2005 08:56:00 AM|W|P|mia|W|P|I really liked the information on Funny Pictures, great job! I have my own Funny Pictures Exposed blog if you would like to come and see what I have on mine.11/21/2005 08:52:00 AM|W|P|STU|W|P|yah check out the Fleshlight Game ..its hilarious1/19/2006 06:40:00 PM|W|P|
Fuck that.4/26/2005 12:18:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| This is old, I know, but I didn't bother posting it before due to laziness and a lack of caring. I tend to do that a lot in my life, it's called lathargy. So Janice Dickinson is a model and all the gay people and America's Next Top Model fans think she's amazing cuz she's rude, I guess you can be rude when Mick Jagger dedicates a song at one of his concerts to your period. No I didn't read her book, but my gay friend did, and that's what he told me. Yes, I have gay friends, I pretty much hang with whoever's not ashamed to hang with me.
Look at her fuckin nipple and stop judging me - asshole.
|W|P|111448912367270209|W|P|I am - Janice Dickinson Nip Slip|W|P|4/26/2005 11:14:00 AM|W|P|4/28/2005 08:47:00 PM|W|P|12/30/2005 08:08:00 AM|W|P|4/26/2005 12:17:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| Life is always more interesting on the otherside of the world. There are time I lay in bed thinking of what could have been if I played my cards right, I think about the world and all it has to offer and I remember that I am a motherfucking factory worker with a fat wife. I am not down on myself, I am really too drunk to really care, but there are times where I wonder...what would life be like as someone else, usually an Asian girl. I am not sure what the hell those crazy asian people are eating but they produce the weirdest fucking smut ever, including this image of a girl peeing in a urinal. The closest thing to this picture in my life was the time I was fucking wasted and passed the fuck out on the floor of the bathroom at a party, some crazy bitch didn't see me, mistook me for the toilet and pissed all over my motherfucking shirt....I will not say I didn't like it, but I will say I would rather watch her use an urinal....
|W|P|111448907117387796|W|P|I am - Asian Girl Using a Urinal|W|P|4/26/2005 09:27:00 AM|W|P|4/26/2005 12:30:00 PM|W|P|Scaryfast|W|P|During my career as a heavy drinker in bars around the UK, I've seen bitches pull the same trick in the urinal next to me while I've been doing a piss.
They don't get that you always leave a urinal free between you and the adjacent pisser and end up spraying you all over with their piss.
And it's always the scanky ass lesbian skinhead types. They fuck me off.4/26/2005 03:16:00 PM|W|P|4/27/2005 01:09:00 AM|W|P|4/27/2005 09:49:00 PM|W|P|
thanks!5/03/2005 11:10:00 PM|W|P|Bob|W|P|I lived in Japan 20 years ago when I was 12 and we went to the zoo once where there was a bathroom with a seperate mens and womens entrance but it was just one room on the inside. The men had to stand on a raised platform and piss in a long trough in front off the women who were coming and going into stalls along the back wall.5/31/2005 06:18:00 AM|W|P|
It is indeed Japan but it's from a porn video made from "soft on demand" which make some fucked up videos including one video where cockroaches crawl up a girls pussy. Actually, I'm speculating about that last part but it does have cockroaches in.4/25/2005 11:53:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| Not much to say about this, other than the fact that I came across it and was like that looks like my fat wife. I guess the coincidence is that the artist's name is Other and is from Canada. I see a lot of his shit around Montreal, and figure that it's very possible that he met my wife and this is his "rendition". Yes, she is pretty busted, but whatever it's a sick piece, not that I like graf, I think it represents the fall of society. I am all for oppression and rationed bread.
|W|P|111448900908703846|W|P|I am - Other|W|P|4/26/2005 04:30:00 AM|W|P|
Stick to your porn you twat……….4/25/2005 10:44:00 PM|W|P|Team Fuck|W|P| Once again I apologise for abandoning you. I am not the greatest friend, but when i...ah fuck it, who cares.
Anyways, this is the first time i have been completely sober in the last 14 days. I quit my job 2 weeks ago, spent all my money on cocaine and booze, and cant stop falling asleep. So, in light of this oh-so-motivating sober situation, i bring you this.
The Team Fuck Top Ten Realizations Of The Month after the jump bitches....
10) Talking to girls on MSN about threesomes is cool.
I know this girl, she has a blogger at Paige Six. By telling her i could make her famous i some how managed to get her on msn. We started talking about threesomes. This one is pointless.
9) Mailing cakes to Montreal is hilarious
8) 1989 Toyota Tercel VS. 300yr old Maple Tree. Tree wins.
I once rear ended a Ford cargo van with my 89 tercel. The van was all kinds of dented, my car was fine. You'd think that i would remember events like these before i tried my luck with a forest. You thought wrong.
7) Don’t make fun of girls in High school. Some of them get hot.
I went to high school once, and in that school i made fun of girls. Now one of the girls grew up to be a bombshell. She got the gap in her teeth fixed, grew tits...and i have a snowballs chance in hell of laying pipe.
6) Putting your cell phone number on the Internet isn’t a good idea, no one calls. It’s depressing.
5) Toasters - Not just for toast.
If i had pictures of this it would be better, but I don’t. However, you can cook a mighty good hot dog in a toaster. Just lay them in horizontal, place the bun on top, and DISCO! You have toasted hot dog.
4) Love does not make the world go 'round. Jack Daniels does.
Seriously, you drink a 26er of JD and that shit spins like a motherfucker. Love is for fags anyways. I have been dating the same girl for 10 months, and haven’t told her i love her. If you tell girls you love them, they have you by the balls. And I have grown attached to my balls. Fuck women, drink Jack. Put that on a billboard.
3) Pulp Fiction is the greatest movie ever made.
Like when Jules shoots the guy on the couch and then says "oh, I’m sorry, did I break your concentration?". Damn that shit is gangsta.
2) Eating a half-quarter of mushroom makes you crazy.
A few weeks ago I got loaded and ate mushrooms with my best friend of 16 years. I made fun of him for hours because he once wore a pink shirt. It wasn’t until 8am that he finally snapped and threw me through his glass closet.
1) Quitting your job for the sole purpose of becoming famous isn't the best idea.
I had a fairly decent job working at a model and talent agency. They stopped paying me because they went broke. I think they went broke because I stopped working, who knows. The point is, i quit because i thought i would be famous by the end of the week. I’m not. Now I’m fucked.
|W|P|111449014974824480|W|P|I am - Team Fuck Top 10|W|P|4/26/2005 01:02:00 AM|W|P|Paige|W|P|Mmmm thanks Team Fuck.. okay but now, what about that threesome?5/18/2005 02:28:00 PM|W|P|
- Marla9/26/2005 11:16:00 AM|W|P|sarah|W|P|Your blog is great. It's hard to find blogs with good content and people talking about Funny Pictures these days. I have a Funny Pictures Exposed if you want to come check it out.4/25/2005 12:18:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P| Who the fuck is Pamela David? I guess it really doesn't make a difference, bitch is topless by a pool letting all of you perverts get a glimpse of her. Now looking at half naked girls poolside is something I like, but I feel like it's stealing my soul and tearing my family apart. My new quest for redemption may make the smutty posts a little less frequent. Have you accepted Jesus into your life?
Fuck that yo, I am the only motherfucking Jesus you bitches need...this is the shit dreams are made of....more after the jump. Easy.
|W|P|111440291024118891|W|P|I am - Pamela David Topless Poolside|W|P|4/25/2005 02:03:00 AM|W|P|Lucas Brachish|W|P|Nice find... one of the pics is posted twice, though, and there's only one shot sans top... is the duplicate pic supposed to be another winner? If so, I'm looking forward to the correction...4/25/2005 06:43:00 AM|W|P|4/25/2005 08:47:00 AM|W|P|4/25/2005 11:24:00 AM|W|P|4/25/2005 08:38:00 PM|W|P|
http://www.allcelebrity.it/David/ |W|P|More pics here, though they're very bit softcore from men's mag and modeling spreads. |W|P|I have always thought that Argentinians were a little bit odd. |W|P|WOW! Some chick in a bikini... LAME!! |W|P|She's an Argentinian model |W|P|haha.. you're famous in my world.. don't worry |W|P|Yes, you’re so right; paint on concrete represents the fall of society…? |W|P|Hola. |W|P|i'm kinda turned on... |W|P| |W|P|More likely this pic was taken in Japan because the rest of Asia with the exception of Thailand are conservative and would not allow mingling of the opppsite sexes. Gotta handed to the Japs who do keep their facilities imaculately clean. |W|P|I have always thought Asians were a little bit odd. |W|P|I would fuck her without a condom and cum in her pussy |W|P|duuude that's one weather beaten slut! I'd do her though.... |W|P|im that fag that told you about the janice/jagger incident. learning to love even the elderly is a trait that will come in handy one day. and yes even models get old....kinxywinxyluvsstepfather.... |W|P|So what is wrong if you have a little bit of gay in you? I mean, dudes, I can sit here and say "I'm not gay, I'm not gay" too. I've never done a dude, never had a desire to do a dude. I have been with a lot of chicks and will continue to do so. But dudes, I am not an idiot. when I'm dating a girl and a guy walks by I know if the dude is "hot" and that my girl would find him attractive. It's why I react like I do - try to get betwene him and her so she looks at me and not him. Does that make me gay? |W|P|All of you guys talk shit but love to fuck the shit out of your own personal FL and watch others doing it..I havent purchased one yet but will...no shame and u all have watched some horney fucker pound the same and now your here saying its gay watching another guy pound his rubber toy..listen u all suck dick...just fuck your toy and umm don't watch videos...lmao..oh yeah u can think of a guys cock instead..rotfl...well cya guys gonna go purchase a supertight FL and enjoy myself. |W|P|i get off so good to him. no, not him - his thoughts. im totally straight. i love watching his dick pump the rubber cunt - but im not attracted to his dick... only what he's DOING with it (or what i could do with it...) - i mean, ABSOLUTELY STRAIGHT - Love me my broads. But it's such a deep connection to watch his thighs quiver and his ass clench - not that I'm turned on by him - only what he's doing. 100% straight. That's how I roll. I love when he blows all over those pictures. His chunky ass cum is so hot. I mean, it's so right. It's exactly what I would do. Right.. |W|P|Oh, man. That's hilarious. Dude trying to explain away his gayness is always hilarious. |W|P| |W|P|She's a hottie...I'd pee in her butt. |W|P|They're both looking in the same direction. And I'm sure he's already tagged that ass |W|P|Check out that homo she's with scopin' on her ass in the last pic... DOG!! |W|P|those pics are sooo old |W|P|I never saw her sex tape, but i think she has an amazing body! (I am a female too) |W|P|her sex tape is horrible. they barely have sex, and she bites dude's hangdog. wtf!?!??! thought she was alright till that... |W|P|Those puffies remind me of an ol' coon hound I once had... |W|P|Hooray for saucer sized nips! |W|P|*sp, "enhances" |W|P|if that is the way schools are going to be there are gonna be a lot of lawsuits cause its unsanitary, unconstitutional if you thing of the freedom aspect, and if i was a teacher i would quit cause I'd be willing to be the teachers can go whenever they please. so if you ask me that is one school that needs to be reviewed and looked into for neglect. |W|P|i would just get up, whip it out in the corner, sit back down, and get back to the lesson without saying a thing. and if my kid was in that class, i'd tell him to do the same. |W|P|I don't think this enhances or enhanses learning, but it certainly distracts and undermines. |W|P|Did you get a picture? |W|P|so where's the big penis come in?..... |W|P|Thats one fucked up rule. |W|P|Thats one fucked up rule. |W|P|What happened to her face???? Makeup is a wondergul thing. |W|P|Lindsay Lohan is a spoiled bitch who thinks she can do whatever she wants. How can those clubs that serve her underage ass get away with it without losing their liquor license? She can look pretty hot at times, but her attitude is rather snotty (typical hollywood posers I guess). She better keep her ego in check, or she will become another Shannen Doherty. I'd still do her, but it would be a grudge fuck. |W|P|Wow she looks like hell |W|P|These people are idiots!!! What these piercing artists DON'T tell you is that the body "rejects"(in other words: gets highly infected) these types of surface piercings-and are meant to be removed soon after... |W|P|Maybe it says, "Hey, I like the Hellraiser movies!" |W|P|Josie's not that hairy. I'd do her in a heartbeat. What really cranks me is a woman with a nice hairy ass. A hairy pussy is good but it just doesn't compare to a furry ass on a sexy chick!! |W|P|I shave my pits, well I trim it up. Shaved pussy rocks!! When I look at my girls hairless pussy it doesn't bring pedophile thoughts. It brings thoughts of nice clean place to do my work. I don't need to floss when I'm down there........ |W|P|Pubic hair is horny. |W|P|i would |W|P|what a nasty freak! I wouldn't even give her a dirty sanchez... |W|P|Actaully...pubic hair for women is meant to help keep bacteria and such out of the vagina. For men, hair was needed back in he stoneages when proper protection of the body (aka CLOTHING)didn't exist. It is meant to keep the ball sac warm and protect the sperm. |W|P|I'll just state the obvoius. GROSS howcan she walk around like that?? |W|P|She looks better when you can't see her awful hair or those fucked up teeth. |W|P|pubic hair sucks, period. end of discussion. it serves 0 purpose |W|P|mi slovenci imamo vse veselja |W|P|screw the old lady, who's the hotty in the silver dress?? GGGRRRR!!!!!!!!! |W|P|She may be another non-working gold digging skank on Trump's list, that will surely split with him in the next year or two once she's ready to cash in her new found fame....but hey whatever I'd still pee in her butt. |W|P|C'mon guy - you need to get this in hi-res because these bitmap images ain't working for me |W|P|Just the thought of "the Donald" suckling on that is enough to make you hurl... |W|P|Tell us how you really feel, Pee Wee. |W|P|jeezus...those nips were the size of cocktail weenies. |W|P|This story is fake!!!! |W|P|I assumed Fit TV was a soft porn channel. I watch it to check out the chicks bending and stretching. I never noticed that guy in the front. |W|P|I'd look like that too if my diet consisted of 90% semen...