12/31/2004 01:12:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|She was in the hospital for exhaustion I originally thought it was for a drug overdose Now GoodPlasticSurgery.com is saying it's for a breast reduction. I don't know - I will ask her tomorrow at the NYE party. She told me she would give me a blowjob in the bathroom while doing blow. I have been chatting with her for 9 months on friendster. Everyone tells me it's not the real LiLo, but I know it is... The internet wouldn't lie to me. The link to lindsay lohan's good plastic surgery/ breast reduction here |W|P|110447011481867639|W|P|I am - Lohan's Breast Reduction Surgery|W|P|8/20/2005 09:34:00 PM|W|P|Blogger PunkReviewer|W|P|You're one crazy fucker! You lie out your ass too. Cheers!
-Dom9/19/2005 08:54:00 PM|W|P|Blogger JT_Taint|W|P|you fucking rock god fuck jesus in a rubber suit make me squeal like a pig12/31/2004 01:04:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Paris was born with a penis. We know this because of her huge feet and small breasts. She has joined a support group for trannies. This support group helps her deal with her life post op, and gives her the opportunity to help people who aren't as advanced in the sex change as she is.. she is a mentor..a socialite tranny mentor. It's easy to get a sex change when your rich. I know plenty of men - who want to be woman - but it isn't covered by healthcare.... The picture is here (via OhNoYouDidn't) |W|P|110446966424013783|W|P|I am - Tranny Hilton|W|P|12/31/2004 01:01:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I always knew that despite what girls say, they love the meat. I know some girls get molested/sexually abused/raped or mistreated by men, and turn lesbian, but deep down they still love the meat. I think all men out there should treat their women like queens and buy them a fucking hamburger. Who cares if they get fat, you can always fuck a whore, have an affair, or dump the bitch, but at least you didn't beat her or touch her inappropriately. Women Love Meat Here |W|P|110446943448854552|W|P|I am - Girls Love Meat|W|P|12/31/2004 01:41:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|you spelled meat wrong in the title dude.1/04/2005 09:37:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Jesus Martinez|W|P|i noticed that
i was too lazy to fix it
i am doing alright considering i dropped out of
highschool!12/30/2004 03:23:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Lookin' Hot you Sexy Beast. That's what I say to women with more muscle mass than any trucker I have had the pleasure of meeting in my time. Her name is Kelly Ryan, she has a "Chyna Clit" and she is our google image search of the day (yes i cheated) Kelly Ryan Erotic Kelly Ryan getting taped up by her husband "Tiny" Kelly Ryan "You Better Watch Yo'Self" Kelly Ryan Pre-Op Kelly Ryan Cameltoe |W|P|110443885512929494|W|P|I am - Kelly Ryan|W|P|12/30/2004 03:20:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|You go to the male strippers You get drunk You get pulled up on stage and you suck cock for a room filled with drunken women. Your parents would be proud. HERE (YourDirtyMind.com) |W|P|110443812467162807|W|P|I am - Male Strip Club|W|P|12/30/2004 03:06:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I was surfing the internet for some classic lingerie. The kind of stuff my gandmother used to wear around the house and to social events. I have memories of being around many women all dressed in girdles, getting their hair done and talking about their husband's little penis and their gardeners hard body. Ok That whole story was a lie. I am poor and from Mexico... Mexicans don't have gardeners, we are gardeners.... Check out the ebay auction here model included Check out the site here - and go back tomorrow because they are launching their new girl of the month feature. Buy some product, it still smells like pussy of the 30's, you sick fuck. Happy New Year. |W|P|110443796744938858|W|P|I am - Vintage (used) Lingerie|W|P|9/26/2005 04:22:00 PM|W|P|Blogger jasmine|W|P|Great work on your blog - it was very enlightening. You've got a lot of useful info on there about Funny Pictures so I've bookmarked your site so I don't lose it. I'm doing a lot of research on Funny Pictures Exposed and have just started a new blog - I'd really appreciate your comments12/30/2004 02:57:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Choose a country, I don't think it makes a difference and tickle this girl. It has to be one of the greatest viral campaigns Axe is very sexy. I tickled the clit in Israel..... Here |W|P|110443683187889228|W|P|i am - axe feather|W|P|12/30/2004 02:09:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|The newest expression to hit my household is "porno". This is comparable to the word "hot". Paris made the expression "that's hot" a household thing. That is the power of celebrity. I am on a quest to make the expression "that's porno" or "that's fuckin' porno" the expression of 2005. It will pick up, and you will be saying it soon, remember that the Drunken Stepfather is the source. In the meantime here are some Porno galleries to give you a boner and to help keep this expression alive with the power of visuals... Bus Stop Whores Pump That Ass Mr Chews Asian Beaver Big League Facial |W|P|110443450011081358|W|P|I am - Fuckin' Porno|W|P|12/30/2004 01:37:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Now if you are a fan of the site, and if you have been reading us for a while, you will remember that I am a mexican, sent to texas, ended up in Quebec, married to a French Canadian, with 2 slutty daughters, who always cock tease me.... I deal with it - with the help of alcohol. I still have memories of mexico as a boy, and texas as a teenager. So in honour of my random roots, I want to introduce you to a new feature called - the Texan of the Day. His Name is Pat Davis, and he likes his fish! HERE |W|P|110443205580575517|W|P|I am - Texan of the Day|W|P|12/30/2004 01:24:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|This is a random site that I came across that has all kinds of butt looking related content. I think the most relevant one for you is the celebrity butt cleavage gallery. I remember when butt cleavage was the big thing a couple of years ago, I never fully understood this. Being an obese man, I always have trouble making sure my butt Is covered, everytime I bend over to pick something up, or reach for something, the world around me are forced to witness my butt cleavage. I have never heard any compliments, and I sure as hell never had an online gallery devoted to my butt. To date, the only people who love my butt are my stepdaughters, they always ask if they can spank me. I have no problem dropping my pants for them, but their mother can never find out. Enjoy the celebrity butt cleavage page HERE |W|P|110443146175824581|W|P|I am - Buttlooking|W|P|12/30/2004 01:53:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I know she only has one foot that is functional. I know she has a hoof. I know she has naked pics out there, and I have seen them. I still think posting a picture of her BEAV in sheer panties is worth something. I know I am too poor to join her site. I know I am too lazy to find her pictures. I know sheer panties are sexy I know her poon's got some give. So I decided to post the gallery where you can see her love bun Through a pair of sheer panties. HERE |W|P|110438978460998686|W|P|I am - Kate's Muff|W|P|12/29/2004 10:33:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Lennie Briscoe from Law and Order is DEAD (cancer)!!! I have nothing else to say as I am in shock. I'll miss you old man. · Actor Jerry Orbach died Tuesday at age 69 of prostate cancer. Orbach spent years on the New York stage as a song man in hit musicals, but he was perhaps best known for his role as acerbic New York homicide detective Lennie Briscoe in the long-running hit series Law and Order. via npr Fan site Who knew tough Jerry (lenny) had a fan site) More HERE|W|P|110437868476953765|W|P|I am - Jerry Orbach (Dead Celeb of the Day)|W|P|12/29/2004 10:13:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|She is naked in all kinds of random places and she shares her panties with her other naked internet friends. Here is a picture of Kate in pain/discomfort from a major yeast infection. She gets them chronically. I know, because she is in Canada, and so am I. Her picture Here |W|P|110437651632474353|W|P|I am - Kate's Playground Yeast Infection|W|P|9/26/2005 04:33:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Lorna|W|P|Found a lot of useful info on your site about Funny Pictures - thank you. Haven't finished reading it yet but have bookmarked it so I don't lose it. I've just started a Funny Pictures blog myself if you'd like to stop by12/29/2004 10:10:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Jennifer Tilly is a total Twat. I don't even know what she is in, but I can imagine nothing very good considering I don't know who she is, and I worked in a video store for over 5 years. I was even the manager, until I got fired for stealing .... Jennifer Tilly's Big Nipple - Nipple Slip HERE |W|P|110437634334527430|W|P|I am - Jennifer Tilly's Nipple|W|P|9/26/2005 03:56:00 PM|W|P|Blogger marissa|W|P|I love your information on Funny Pictures I bookmarked your blog and will be back soon. If you want, check out my blog on Funny Pictures Exposed - please come by12/29/2004 09:22:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Paris and Lohan got into a screaming match over a VIP booth at some trendy club a little while back. In the end Lindsay got up and gave Paris the booth...I wonder if Paris threatned her coke supply. Other highlights of the night included Ashlee Simpson being "accidentally" bumped by men and Paris crawling on the floor. Details Below: New brat pack pals Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton erupted in a screaming match over seating at a hot Hollywood party Dec. 15. The glittering girls, who happily dined with Ashlee Simpson just two nights before, were not even speaking when they arrived separately for dinner at restaurant Sushi Roku in Hollywood. By the time they got to club promoter Brent Bolthouse's birthday bash at trendy club Concorde, their claws were out. PARIS WINS Star People's eyewitness spotted Lohan and her entourage strolling into Concorde at 11 p.m. and settling into one of the four VIP booths. But when 23-yearold Paris Hilton arrived at 11:30, the heiress marched straight to Lohan, 18, and demanded, "Get out of our table!" Although Lindsay suggested Paris and her posse sit at other open spots, the duo soon began screaming into each other's faces. Concorde's managers finally separated the two -- with Lindsay eventually moving across the club and Paris claiming the disputed booth. AIR KISSING Surrounded by fellow brat packers Ashlee Simpson, Fred Durst, Nicole Richie, Kirsten Dunst, Leelee Sobieski, Chad Muska and Bijou Phillips, Paris further drew stares when she butted into conversations and crawled on the floor searching for her lost cell phone. Across the room, Nicole blew air kisses at good friend Kirsten Dunst, while Ashlee Simpson smiled as she was "accidentally" bumped by men on the dance floor. When a techno remix of "California Dreamin'" played, Ashlee sung at full blast while wild Bijou Phillips --who's parents were in The Mamas and The Papas -- stood on a table shrieking, "These are my parents!" |W|P|110437466675992500|W|P|I am - Paris Vs. Lohan: Bar Brawl|W|P|12/29/2004 09:18:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Newsweek gets to the bottom of the most annoying celebrity of 2004 scandal. Apparently Paris is not happy she lost to crackhead brittney. But she promises to be more annoying in 2005. Paris Hilton Vows To Be More Annoying in 2005 The heiress is taking aim at Britney Spears' crown WEB EXCLUSIVE Dec. 28 - One day after singer Britney Spears was named the Most Annoying Celebrity of 2004, hotel heiress Paris Hilton congratulated the pop tart on her victory but served notice that she intends to re-take the title in 2005. "Britney had a very annoying year and deserves credit for that," Hilton said, "but I will do everything in my power to be more annoying in 2005." Behind the gracious façade, however, Hilton was huddling with top advisors to determine "what went wrong" in her quest to grab this year's Most Annoying crown. "Paris thought that she had all her ducks in a row to be the most annoying person on the planet," said one confidant. "No question about it, heads are going to roll." Jonah Donnelly, an analyst who tracks irritating celebrities for Credit Suisse First Boston, said that Spears' two marriages in 2004, one of which lasted only 55 hours, made her "virtually impossible" for Hilton to best this year. "Paris's sister Nicky was briefly married this year, which did help make Nicky slightly more annoying, but at the end of the day it did almost nothing for Paris," Donnelly said. Going forward, he added, both Hilton and Spears may face a stiff challenge next year from up-and-coming annoying celebrity Lindsay Lohan: "It may be time to pass the torch to a new generation of vapid attention-seekers. HERE|W|P|110437314853200163|W|P|I am - More Annoying Paris in 2005|W|P|12/29/2004 03:52:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|It is going to be a slow couple of days on here, because of vacation and the new year and all that shit.. we are drinking heavily and putting less focus on delivering the goods. We do have our priorities in order, because I don't remember the last time you gave me a false sense of happiness. Keep checking back...because 2005 is made for drunken stepfathers.... Happy New Year - You Twats.. |W|P|110435422963533263|W|P|I am - Spying Cameltoe|W|P|11/04/2005 06:54:00 AM|W|P|Blogger tele_emule|W|P|accords - acrobat reader - ad aware - adobe - antivir - antivirus - aperitif - astrologie - astuce - astuces - automobile - automobiles - avatar - avg - avp - balance - belier - bitdefender - blague - blagues - boisson - capricorne - caricature - caricatures - carte postale - cartes postales - cillin - clonecd - cochon - cocktail - comique - comiques - confiture - cuisine - curiosites - curseur - curseurs - cuteftp - dessert - desserts - dessin - directx - download - downloads - ecran de veille - ecrans de veilles - edonkey - effet d optique - emoticones - emulateur - emulateurs - emule - firewall - fond - fond ecran - fonds - gastronomie - gateau - gemeau - getright - henne - horoscope - horoscope chinois - horoscope du lion - horoscope vierge - humoristique - humour - icone - icones - illusion - illusion d optique - illusions - illusions d optique - image - images - jeu - jeux - kaspersky - kazaa - kazaa lite - legume - logiciel - logiciels - mcafee12/29/2004 03:23:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|When white power people decide to make porn. This is what happens...they go out and find black hookers and the totally treat them like shit.... I don't find this hot, but it does remind me of when I was a gardener for this very rich family. I once went through his shed and found a huge collection of gay porn and women's lingerie. There was a box of pictures of him dressed in lingerie, I spoke to one of the maids one day on a cigarette break and she told me about how he liked to get on all fours and have her insert random objects in his ass. I think his favorite was spicy sauusage, but he would also insert eggs and other food products. The Nazi Porn Intro HERE |W|P|110435214255445091|W|P|I am - Nazi Porn|W|P|12/29/2004 03:12:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|So we are keeping the google image search alive. Today's word is Hiker. The results can be seen here My top 5 are: Sexy Plaid Hiker Lesbian Hiker with a (Rock and Roll Belt) Will Never Be a Real Model hiker Pregnant and Bearded Hiker Hard Bodied Hiker |W|P|110435179129235930|W|P|I am - Hiker|W|P|12/29/2004 02:49:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|She plays Lois Lane on Smallville. She is from Canada. She has a topless scene in a movie. I like young girls and boobs. She is in a thong - we all know that it's all about the boyshort. That's what the girls tell me.... This clip is worth checking out. HERE |W|P|110435111180303769|W|P|I am - Erica Durance|W|P|12/29/2004 02:30:00 AM|W|P|Dallas Marriott -- socialite|W|P|Word on the street is that John Mayer likes giving rim jobs. After a recent concert, Mayer got hot and heavy with a fan and asked her if he could, um, go backstage. I wonder if that's what's going on here |W|P|110430595412246564|W|P|i am - slutty socialite: john mayer wants to toss your salad.|W|P|12/29/2004 01:24:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|I'm always runinng into trouble trying to get deaf whores to understand what I want. With this guide though my problems may be over. How to talk to deaf hookers, a pictorial. HERE|W|P|110430163951093869|W|P|I am - deaf hooker|W|P|12/29/2004 01:20:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|This is a poem I found on the internet about stepfathers. STEPFATHERS S****Strength T****Tough E****Everknowing P****Patient F****Forward A****Able T****Time H****Healers E****Eternal R****Real S****Sensitive STRENGTH to know that it is TOUGHto be a Stepfather, but EVERKNOWINGthat PATIENCE itselve will sustain him!FORWARD enough to stand his groundand ABLE enough to stand back!TIME stands still for years as thehurt HEALS and REAL love becomesETERNAL. SENSITIVE enough to knowthat love is thicker than blood! This woman is insane, check out her site she beat me on google.... Here |W|P|110430137386910854|W|P|I am - Stepfather Poem|W|P|12/28/2004 07:54:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|The problem with being a drunk is that I don't remember if I ever posted this or not... I would be very interested in knowing if I have. I do not have a search function or a log of what has been posted. I should be organized - but as a drunk, organization doesn't really happen. This is Miss Georgia Sex Offenders Link. I am sure it is nothing original When I was young, I was molested by my school teacher. She had a thing for mexican boys...she made me fist her. It was sick. In a good way! HERE |W|P|110428178164858960|W|P|I am - Miss Georgia Sex Offender|W|P|9/26/2005 04:07:00 PM|W|P|Blogger amber|W|P|Great work on your blog - it was very enlightening. You've got a lot of useful info on there about Funny Pictures so I've bookmarked your site so I don't lose it. I'm doing a lot of research on Funny Pictures Exposed and have just started a new blog - I'd really appreciate your comments12/28/2004 06:49:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Over the past year there has been plenty of celebrity boob exposures. Our good friends at fleshbot have gone to the trouble of compiling a list of the Top Celebrity Boobage Moments of 2004. This covers all the great moments of 2004 for the perverted stepfather. From Adriana Lima Nipple Slip, Beyoncé Nipple Slip, Britney Nipple Slip Outtake? Charlotte Church's Nipple, Janet Jackson, Gwyneth Paltrow Nip Slip, Heidi Klum Nipple Slip, Lindsay Lohan Nipple Alert, Mandy Moore Nipple Slip, Peek-A-Boo Paris Hilton, Serena Williams Exposed, Tara Reid Boob Slip All here |W|P|110427845940154506|W|P|I am - Celebrity Boobies 2004 |W|P|9/26/2005 03:40:00 PM|W|P|Blogger amber|W|P|Great work on your blog - it was very enlightening. You've got a lot of useful info on there about Funny Pictures so I've bookmarked your site so I don't lose it. I'm doing a lot of research on Funny Pictures Exposed and have just started a new blog - I'd really appreciate your comments12/28/2004 05:30:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|What did people type into google, yahoo, msn etc to get to our little site you wonder. Well wonder no more as this popular feauture is back. Retro Smut (#8 result on Google) ezShare pissing (#2 result on Google) Chyna's clit (#20 on Google) paris hilton wedgie (#6 on Google) pamela anderson stephen dorf (#1 on Yahoo) |W|P|110427379291429982|W|P|I am - Searches of the Day |W|P|9/26/2005 04:08:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Zuki|W|P|I appreciate your information on Funny Pictures. I just bookmarked your site and will be back regulalry to keep on top of it. Please check out my blog on Funny Pictures Exposed - I'd really appreciate it12/28/2004 05:19:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|This guy has a nipple because of skin grafts and decided to pierce it. Thats just weird. Scott was the victim of a mobile home fire at the age of 15 and was burned over 85% of his body. To re-grow skin on his legs they, "Used skin from his chest in a skin graft," as Scott tells it. Hence when the skin grew, "A nipple grew too and I thought it was cool to pierce it," explains Scott. Scott also claims that just like a real one, it gets hard to colder temps and "rubbing". Details and Photos HERE|W|P|110427250221082370|W|P|I am - Deformed (pireced knee nipple)|W|P|12/29/2004 01:27:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|wouldn't that be called a kneeple

i am funny

fuck you9/26/2005 09:12:00 AM|W|P|Blogger mia|W|P|I love your information on Funny Pictures I bookmarked your blog and will be back soon. If you want, check out my blog on Funny Pictures Exposed - please come by12/28/2004 04:59:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Are you in searching for a site with facts you will never need. Well I got the perfect site for you. You wil learn things like: When frightened, an angler fish's lure can glow as brightly as a 45 Watt light bulb and The average person says around 7,200 words every day. HERE |W|P|110427126654747060|W|P|I am - Useless Facts|W|P|12/28/2004 04:37:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Who knew jackie Burkhardt and Meg Griffin were really Jews all this time. Now I know why she was so sluty with Kelso; she's a jewish slut! And you our loyal readers know jow much the drunken stpfather likes jewish sluts. Crappy Writeup: You know Mila as the hot girl (Jackie Burkhardt) on That 70’s Show. But I bet you didn’t know that she moved to Los Angeles from the Ukraine at age 7. Mila’s first language is Russian, and she also speaks Spanish. She plays a ditzy character on TV, but Mila actually works very hard, and she is known for being a driven worker. In fact, when she tried out for her role on That 70’s Show, she lied about her age to get the part. She was only 15, making her the youngest of the cast by a few years. She told the directors she was 17! Pics Mila Kunis Sex Orgy, fakes (NSFW) Mila's Maxim Cover Mila with Elisha cuthbert (Maxim Spread) Mila Kissing Find out more HERE (IMDB)|W|P|110426990604406959|W|P|I am - Celebrity Jew of the day: Mila Kunis|W|P|12/28/2004 04:01:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Looking for the latest shots of Pam Anderson and Stephan Dorf making out at the beach? Well me either but here are the pics anyway. As an added bonus you an also see pam with her new rat dog (a little late on that trend). HEREVia ohnotheydidnt|W|P|110426771602293395|W|P|I am - Pam and Dorf Kissing|W|P|12/28/2004 03:31:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Today's dead celebrity of the day is Maurice Chevalier, the frenchman who took America by storm in the early twentieth century. He sang a drunk stepfather favorite, "Thank Heaven for Little Girls," in the movie Gigi (lyrics below). Is there anything more scary then a french guy singing about little girls? Although, my grandmother says he is an anti-semite so I dont know if I should love him or hate him. Hollywood musical "Innocents of Paris" in 1929, just two years after Al Jolson made history with the first all-talking motion picture. He was nominated for Academy Awards for The Love Parade (1929/1930) and The Big Pond (1929/1930). Making a dozen movies over the next seven years, Chevalier and his songs, such as "Mimi", "Louise", and "Valentine", became internationally popular. In the late 1950's his appearances in the movies "Gigi" and "Love in the Afternoon" started his second film career. In 1959 he received a special Academy Award for his contributions to the world of entertainment. Throughout his seventies, he continued his one-man show around the world. The author of this website was privileged to attend one of his last performances. It was fantastic. He sang all of his greatest hits and sparked his show with his wonderful anecdotes. Maurice Chevalier retired from the stage in 1968, a show business legend. His last work, the title song of the Disney movie The Aristocats, was made in 1970. He died in Paris on January 1, 1972. Lyrics: Thank heaven for little girls for little girls get bigger every day! Thank heaven for little girls they grow up in the most delightful way! Those little eyes so helpless and appealing one day will flash and send you crashin' thru the ceilin' Thank heaven for little girls thank heaven for them all, no matter where no matter who for without them, what would little boys do? Thank heaven... thank heaven... Thank heaven for little girls! Find out more HERE Pics HERE|W|P|110426660934133297|W|P|I am - Maurice Chevalier|W|P|9/26/2005 07:52:00 AM|W|P|Blogger anna|W|P|Your blog is great. It's hard to find blogs with good content and people talking about Jennifer Love Hewitt these days. I have a Jennifer Love Hewitt Exposed if you want to come check it out.9/26/2005 04:34:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Joshy|W|P|Great work on your blog - it was very enlightening. You've got a lot of useful info on there about Funny Pictures so I've bookmarked your site so I don't lose it. I'm doing a lot of research on Funny Pictures Exposed and have just started a new blog - I'd really appreciate your comments12/28/2004 01:09:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|The artist of the day feature is back for an indefinite period of time. Today’s artist is a mad man named GG Allin. The rumor is that his older brother slipped a tab of acid in his Munchkin Dunkin Donut. He went nuts, cut off his penis, let women piss in his mouth on stage and recorded many cult hits. He reminds me of my cousin Sancho, he never cut off his private parts, but when he was working in the old folks home, he did slip acid into their coffee cake….He told me that the result was trippy…I was thinking of doing the same thing at a nursery school, but my probation officer told me I have to steer clear of underage girls…. His Art here Picture here

He died of a heroin overdose – a recount of his funeral here

|W|P|110425383037815412|W|P|I am – Sociopath Punk|W|P|12/28/2004 01:05:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Petra Nemcova - supermodel - sports illustrated slut was vacationing in a beach front bungalow with her photographer boyfriend when the wave hit. Rumor is she was stuck in a tree for numerous hours while her boyfriend still hasn't been found. This is a sad story and I have nothing funny to say about it....because I am not funny. But one time when in mexico, I decided to sneak into a resort at Cancun, even though it was far from my native Mexico City.... I got caught in the undertoe, but was saved my some fat white american middle aged man...i think it is comparable. On a similar note, that was the day that I knew I would devote my life to American Culture.... The story is HERE Some pics to get you through the crisis. AND SWIMSUIT CLIP HERE (ezshare) THERE Hospital Pics I am - Supermodel Tsunami Revisited |W|P|110425773486081244|W|P|I am - Supermodel Tsunami|W|P|9/26/2005 08:07:00 AM|W|P|Blogger jenna|W|P|I really liked the information on Jennifer Love Hewitt, great job! I have my own Jennifer Love Hewitt Exposed blog if you would like to come and see what I have on mine.9/26/2005 08:15:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Zuki|W|P|I appreciate your information on Funny Pictures. I just bookmarked your site and will be back regulalry to keep on top of it. Please check out my blog on Funny Pictures Exposed - I'd really appreciate it12/28/2004 01:02:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|

Like Leonardo I enjoy being naked. There are many times that I find myself naked in inappropriate places, like the mall, the grocery store and church. I remember being in an old pair of jogging pants at church, and I got an erection. I was fucking hard while this man was telling me how Jesus died for my sins…anyway, the old lady wasn’t impressed when I pulled it out and started jerking off…but the thing you all have to realize is that when I get hard, I need to cum, there are no ifs ands or buts about it….it’s like when you have to pee, and there is a public washroom at the next exit…you will normally make the stop….

The Leonardo story is here – but pictures of his woman Gisele are at the bottom of this post.

LEONARDO DiCAPRIO remains unfazed by onscreen nudity, despite spending days being filmed naked for his latest movie.

DiCaprio's role as HOWARD HUGHES in THE AVIATOR required him to strip off for a series of love scenes, most of which ended up on the cutting room floor.

But being naked didn't bother DiCaprio: "I didn't think about the nudity that much. There was a lot more naked stuff in the movie that they didn't show.

"I was nude for a good couple of days being filmed."

Gisele Backside Here Gisele Frontside Here

Gisele Fake Here

Gisele and Leo Here |W|P|110425346929588735|W|P|I am – Leonardo Dicaprio’s Penis|W|P|12/28/2004 01:01:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|This cult movie has inspired me to make my own film. If I told you want it was about, then you would steal my idea and make yourself famous, wouldn’t you cunt?!!? I am just teasing. I love you and need you in my life. Follow the link to this video and enjoy, it was the original reality TV show….a bunch of drunk heavy metal fans being interviewed before a Judas Priest show. I was at this show, I am in this video…try to find me HERE |W|P|110425331745984425|W|P|I am – Heavy Metal Parking Lot|W|P|9/26/2005 04:40:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Smartie|W|P|I really liked the info on your site about Funny Pictures - nice work. I've just started my own Funny Pictures Secrets blog and would really appreciate you stopping by12/28/2004 11:56:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|This is a link to a site that teaches people to be pornstars, I think. I don’t know how much effort it really takes to be a pornstar, it’s all about popping a cialis. The guys who don’t pass the test, or don’t perform get fucked up the ass with a strap on. It’s a great concept and it reminds me of my years in prison. Here|W|P|110425299775100088|W|P|I am – Pornstar U|W|P|9/26/2005 08:06:00 AM|W|P|Blogger anna|W|P|I really liked the information on Jennifer Love Hewitt, great job! I have my own Jennifer Love Hewitt Exposed blog if you would like to come and see what I have on mine.12/28/2004 10:51:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|

When I was in Mexico, visiting the mother country I met a man from Brazil. He told me how exciting the hookers are in Rio because the hot ones are usually men and the female ones usually have aids so it’s like Christmas everyday, never knowing what you are gonna get, the best blowjob of your life from a man, making you question your sexuality for the rest of your life because you know you loved it when Felicia was rocking your job, even thought Felicia was really Felipe. Or you can leave with the HIV, like the California Pornstars of last spring…. That being said 40% of hookers in Thailand are dudes and that was the intro to the Spam of the day:

To: drunkjesus@gmail.com From: Estevane.Bernardine@bostoncases.com Subject: Chix with Dix They never thought it would happen to them

That’s what we hear everytime a guy gets tricked by a hot transsexual into thinking that they are a girl. But don’t worry because our fearless guys get so turned on and fascinated that they end up going through with it anyway and we’ve got the hardcore photos & videos to prove it!

Just Updated: Going home with Anna is like scoring with a supermodel! You just couldn't get any luckier, so when John finds out that his hot catch is really a guy not only was he NOT disappointed, but he got even more turned on! How could a chick this hot have a real dick? Watch the video now!

|W|P|110425167826768519|W|P|I am – Tranny Love|W|P|9/26/2005 07:44:00 AM|W|P|Blogger emily|W|P|I really enjoyed your content on Jennifer Love Hewittand will be back very frequently! I actually have my own Jennifer Love Hewitt Exposed blog with all kinds of stuff in it. You�re welcome to com by.9/26/2005 04:31:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Squirrel|W|P|I really liked the info on your site about Funny Pictures - nice work. I've just started my own Funny Pictures Secrets blog and would really appreciate you stopping by12/28/2004 01:35:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Cocaine. That's the answer. If you are at the peak of your career and making a lot of money...you should develop a crazy coke habit that leads into a downward spiral of pain, unhappiness, addiction and good fucking times. I remember when I was 18, I landed my best paying job cleaning office buildings afterdark, I made 10 dollars an hour and I tell you, I was living like a king. I had no family to support and all my money went up my nose!! It was the best time of my life. Here is the Samantha Mumba story, scroll down for a few pictures. Yes, I know, She is dating Sisqo, his thong song changed my life....and was probably the reason the thong became so popular....I am working on getting him to write the DrunkenStepfather song....I know it will be instant success. Irish singer turned actress Samantha Mumba has revealed the real reason why she has been out of the spotlight for the past few years: a £1,000-a-week cocaine habit that destroyed her career.Mumba explained that the pressures of the music industry led her to drug addiction which also lead to depression. After an 18-month battle to beat drugs she is now clean and planning to relaunch her career. She appears in the low-budget horror movie "Boy Eats Girl", and takes a central role in "Johnny Was" with Roger Daltrey and Vinnie Jones.However, she will also be adding the finishing touches to her long-awaited follow-up album to 2000's "Gotta Tell You". The album featured several hits but when she began taking drugs, which she says she first used for confidence, her career soon began to suffer."I think there was a lot of pressure from having a high profile job at such a young age but I think I was responsible for my own actions so I can't blame it on the pressure of fame," Mumba explained."I think it was to do with my being insecure, young and confused at the time." When I first started doing it you feel chatty and confident like you know everything but after a while it starts to have different affects like paranoia."Samantha first tried cocaine around the age of 19 and it was not until a year later she knew she was addicted after realising the past year had been a "blur".The addiction saw her spending up to £1,000 a week on cocaine and refusing to honour work commitments because of affects of coming down off the drugs."I was quite difficult at the time so I sort of pushed all the people that cared about me away and shut myself off from them" she confessed.However, meeting boyfriend Sisqo was the turning point in her life and he has even written and produced tracks for her new album. But it took a lot of therapy and counselling to wean her off drugs."It took a while and it was very hard. It took a year-and-a-half to two years of hardship and ups and downs of me deciding I wanted my life to change and having help from other people.She added: "I'm not doing this for a sympathy vote or publicity I just want to get it out there and move on with my life." If you want to see what this cokehead looks like Go HERE Go HERE and Go HERE |W|P|110424058585466705|W|P|I am - Famous, What Should I Do|W|P|12/28/2004 01:28:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I wrote a poem about Jennifer love... but I lost it.... I will give you a synposis of the poem. It involved her breasts and her annoying face. Her virginity on Party of 5 and how she couldn't hardly wait. An impatient bitch to some and a masturbation tool to others. As a mexican I really appreciate the way she has represented her roots...but standing up for what she believes in and showed the world that even though her lesbian lover is 12 and black, she will still bring her out and show the world....she is not ashamed I would like to big up all girls with long necks around the world - with this picture of JL Hew and her lover HERE |W|P|110421199698126607|W|P|I am - Jennifer Love Hewitt|W|P|9/26/2005 07:41:00 AM|W|P|Blogger jordan|W|P|I found a lot of useful info about Jennifer Love Hewitt on your blog - thank you. I also have a new Jennifer Love Hewitt Tips blog - please click over and have a look12/28/2004 01:18:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I once had a puppy back in mexico - we named him Kerne. Kerne was given away to the local restaurant. We think Kerne was fed to white people in tacos. I never got a Kerne taco, my family was too poor, I would fill up on sand and iceburg lettuce. I did here keren tasted great. Anyway - in memory of the pooch my mom made me give up... I decided to do a google image search on him....this is a daily feature... you dig? For the results click here For the top 5 follow the links that are most relevant to you and your fat wife. 2 and 1/2 inches of Kerne all about the boys....kerne a pipe means a blow job in french, Kerne Kerne Loved Balls Kerne has Sugar Daddies |W|P|110421163558105754|W|P|I am - Kerne|W|P|12/27/2004 08:44:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|So this girl felt her boobs were too big...she was all like "my back is so sore" and "boys only like me cuz I am stacked"...she was all like "I am a celebrity, I rocked out in the Adam's Family just as hard as I rocked out in some indy flicks like Pecker and 200 cigarettes and the opposite of sex while making out with a retard in pumpkin all during reruns of casper, listening to Cher in Little Mermaids and fucking Johnny Depp in Sleepy Hallow.....and fear and loathing in Las Vegas but that didn't have shit on Buffalo '66" So she got a breast reduction - I assume this is post op...no scars...but what do I know about breasts..... HERE |W|P|110421104490174909|W|P|I am - Christina Ricci Post Op|W|P|12/27/2004 08:24:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I was surfing this site and saw a t-shirt that said Joe Smith Big Pimpin'. He is the motherfucker who founded the mormon religion. Mormon's can have more than 1 wife Mormon's are polygamists. I am too, only I don't let my wife know about it... If she knew I was involved with (ot)her girls It would ruin her. Check out the t-shirt of the day HERE |W|P|110419723885432995|W|P|I am - T-Shirt of the Day|W|P|12/27/2004 07:52:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I have nothing to say about Paris Hilton She has big feet...which are very effective in burrito rolling.... I am mexican - we don't have big feet Making Big Foot jokes is not in my DNA structure But barefoot waterskiing in in the Hiltons' I should stop now... Check out a bunch of Paris pics, for the Paris addict HERE |W|P|110419580367651818|W|P|I am - Paris Hilton's Photographer|W|P|12/27/2004 07:32:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|When I lost my virginity at the age of 8 - I couldn't get any play for 10 fucking years. The closest I got was the dry fuck, or what has been coined the camel toe slide. When I was getting it...it was really risky, cuz girls had bush and if you weren't lined up in the groove you'd get a rash.... Check the third video here |W|P|110419465713121793|W|P|I am - Camel Toe Slide|W|P|12/27/2004 07:26:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I remember watching the Drew Carey show, back when I was a fan of Roseanne. I could really appreciate blue collar - unhappy people ...it represented my life...and still does, only now instead of working in the factory..i collect welfare. Follow this link and you will see the guy from The Drew Carey Show Grabbing some Big Mimi Rogers' titties... Note: It may not be the guy from the Drew Carey Show, but I like to pretend I know what I am talking about... HERE |W|P|110419379068962483|W|P|I am - The Guy on The Drew Carey Show|W|P|1/10/2005 03:08:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Bryan Brown. The guy from the movie F/X.12/27/2004 01:47:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I think you should buy yourself a bottle of Pherlure - It will get you laid. I used it and secured an orgy... but if you can't hook that up ...don't say I promised anything. Immigration is already on my ass...and you know how it is.... Pherlure |W|P|110416975307958761|W|P|I am - Drunken Stepfather Affiliate|W|P|12/27/2004 01:31:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|This is a clip I was told about a long time ago. I had this perverted friend we called Uno. He told me he loved Rocco and all Rocco Porn, he told me his favorite scene was when Rocco is banging a girl and gives her a royal flush...this is when you stick someone's head in the toilet and flush.... I never saw the clip until wtfpeople.com posted it. I hate porn - you unrefined perverts... Rocco Flush - Here |W|P|110416883624493856|W|P|I am - Flushing you while I Fuck you|W|P|12/27/2004 11:41:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|We are the 6th result on Google for the term "I am a rapist" I don't think my father is proud... I don't know if I am proud... But it is still pretty funny... HERE |W|P|110416575200102561|W|P|I am - a rapist|W|P|12/27/2004 11:17:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Ludacris has a foot fetish...scroll down to read the story... and to find foot fetish links. I don't have a foot fetish ... I have a chicken foot fetish...everytime I get it on with a girl, I like her to rock my ball sack with a fresh chicken foot...here LUDACRIS'S 'FOOT FETISH' DETERMINES WHO HE DATES American rapper LUDACRIS' "foot fetish" is so strong - he places "beautiful feet" at the top of his girlfriend wish list. While the ONE MINUTE MAN star abhors hairy legs on a lover, he finds a woman's feet a real turn-on especially when she has had them covered up by a pair of boots. Of dating girl with physical imperfections such as pimples, he says, "I have. I try not to judge. I let God judge. "But I definitely love girls with beautiful feet. I have a foot fetish. Messed up feet man, sometimes she can trick me and just wear boots and not even show her feet. But when I see the feet, it's a wrap. "And I don't like girls with hairy legs. I kind of like it to be nice and smooth. A little hair never hurt anybody. But when it gets a little too much, that's when it's not good anymore." Picture 1 - Eating Foot Picture 2 - Foot Job (NSFW) Picture 3 - More Foot Jobs (NSFW) Picture 4 - Massaging Feet Picture 5- Lickin' Her Feet Mainstream Foot Fetish DVD Pussy Footn' - HERE Internet Foot Fetish Website and free video - HERE |W|P|110416476931784463|W|P|I am - Foot Fetish|W|P|9/30/2005 08:36:00 PM|W|P|Blogger alena|W|P|Nice Blog!!! It looks like you've spent a fair amount of time setting it up and keeping the content fresh. I'll be sure to come back.

I have a online dating blog. It pretty much covers christina milian and nick cannon dating related stuff.

Thanks again and keep up the good work.11/28/2005 03:33:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous stockings|W|P|Nice blog, Jesus Martinez. I know a good adult site with foot fetish pictures,
movies and much more free stuff related to dirty soles.12/27/2004 11:07:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Her Dad is a Rolling Stone... She is a model...I am a drunken stepfather. She sees ghosts at her dad's house in France The story is here and is about as interesting as it sounds. If you make it to the end - you will find links to her pictures. Visual aids are fucking porno..there should be more on this site in the New Year! LANCOME model ELIZABETH JAGGER believes famous father MICK's house in France is haunted. The British beauty, 20, who has followed in mother JERRY HALL's catwalk footsteps, is convinced the ROLLING STONES frontman's Gallic abode contains the ghost of a woman - which has also been witnessed by her younger siblings. Jagger explains, "When I was three I saw the ghost of a woman holding her head under her arm. "My sister GEORGIA saw the ghost when she was four and my brother GABRIEL keeps talking to her now." Here Here Here (with daddy) |W|P|110416423817054721|W|P|I am - Elizabeth Jagger|W|P|12/27/2004 11:02:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Here is the story...Ellen dumps her ex wife for some girl on some tv show called something like Arrested Development. Ellen remains a lesbian, and as her career sky rockets with voice appearances in Finding Nemo and her own Daytime Talk show...she feels as though she is too good for the old - and that it's time to bring in the new...fucking lesbians... Comedienne ELLEN DEGENERES's new actress lover PORTIA DE ROSSI is removing all traces of her previous girlfriend following their high-profile split earlier this month (DEC04). Chat show host DeGeneres ended her four-year relationship with photographer-director ALEXANDRA HEDISON on 10 December (04) and is reportedly sharing her Hollywood mansion with Australian-born ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT actress De Rossi, who recently left RINGO STARR's step-daughter FRANCESCA GREGORINI. American gossip site PAGESIX,COM reports the former ALLY McBEAL beauty has made an appointment with a dermatologist to have the initials 'FG' removed from her ring finger. As for reports the new couple are planning for a baby, a source says, "Portia has said many times she does not want to have a baby. She's only interested in her career right now and doesn't really even want kids in the long run. "Francesca wanted a baby badly, and that was a huge issue for them." |W|P|110416354316351356|W|P|I am - Warm in Ellen Degeneres' Pussy|W|P|12/27/2004 10:56:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Lohan - is in hot demand for New Years Eve... This is how the story goes - I have no source - I just steal random things from all over the place She needs to party in Miami with Alba (DJ AM's party is in South Beach also and Valderamma is hosting it, maybe they will kiss at the stroke of midnight, or maybe she will have a stroke from all the YAY) LINDSAY LOHAN is so in demand over New Year's Eve (31DEC04) - she has commitments at different end of the United States within hours of each other. The ubiquitous MEAN GIRLS actress, 18, who was recently hospitalised for exhaustion, has agreed to host a party at South Beach's Opium Garden in California with JESSICA ALBA - as well as perform on MTV's TOTAL REQUEST LIVE late on 31 December (04) in New York city. It is then believed Lohan will fly to Miami, Florida in a private jet. A source says, "She will have to get through all the New Year traffic to Teterboro (Airport), fly to Miami and then drive from the airport. "I don't know what she is thinking. No way she'll make it to that club before 4am." |W|P|110416314822894620|W|P|I am - National Jet Setter|W|P|12/27/2004 10:45:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I stopped watching this trailer park smut when John Tesh left to launch his music career with Kathy Lee Gifford....but here is there list of
ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT'S
HOT LIST OF THE TOP CELEBRITIES OF 2004
1. Oprah Winfrey 2. Michael Jackson 3. Jennifer Aniston 4. Jennifer Lopez 5. Paris Hilton 6. Britney Spears 7. Brad Pitt 8. Nicole Kidman 9. Tom Cruise 10. Sarah Jessica Parker 11. Leonardo DiCaprio 12. Janet Jackson 13. Bill Clinton 14. Martha Stewart 15. Ben Affleck 16. Fantasia Barrino 17. Julia Roberts 18. Jessica Simpson 19. Gwyneth Paltrow 20. Jude Law **Note Commentary on each celebrity to come later today... so keep coming back...it is that exciting |W|P|110416251253454967|W|P|I am - Mary Hart's Bitch|W|P|9/26/2005 04:54:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Zuki|W|P|I appreciate your information on Funny Pictures. I just bookmarked your site and will be back regulalry to keep on top of it. Please check out my blog on Funny Pictures Exposed - I'd really appreciate it12/27/2004 10:40:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Somewhere 0n this site it says that the most used named for boy babies is Jacob and the top name for girls is Emma..the top name for hermaphrodite babies is Conchitto, because only spics make good hermes (not the fashion house) I am surprised the names I wanted to name my kids aren't on the list - Scrotum for a boy and Muslim for a girl.. BabyCenter's Top 10 Girl Names for 2004 (2003) are: 1) Emma (Emily) 2) Madison (Emma) 3) Emily (Madison) 4) Kaitlyn (Hannah) 5) Hailey (Hailey) 6) Olivia (Sarah) 7) Isabella (Kaitlyn) 8) Hannah (Isabella) 9) Sarah (Olivia) 10) Abigail (Abigail) BabyCenter's Top 10 Boy Names for 2004 (2003) are: 1) Jacob (Jacob) 2) Aiden (Aiden) 3) Ethan (Ethan) 4) Ryan (Matthew) 5) Matthew (Nicholas) 6) Michael (Joshua) 7) Tyler (Ryan) 8) Joshua (Michael) 9) Nicholas (Zachary) 10) Connor (Tyler) HERE |W|P|110416228206329571|W|P|I am - Jacob and Emma|W|P|12/27/2004 10:34:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|The guys from LoveMyShoes.com have sponsored Miss Paris Hilton with shoes for life, or as long as their business lasts, considering a marketing move like this is a waste of money! She also gets a custom made 14K gold and diamond studded size 11 shoe. Her feet are large and in charge, much like my penis...or as I prefer to call it me flesh sword. read the story here (dull) see the pictures here (less dull, but still quite dull) |W|P|110416183118416555|W|P|I am - Paris Hilton's Feet|W|P|12/27/2004 10:28:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Paris Hilton was in a Vincent Gallo short film (54 secs) where she sits on a lazy suzan in her panty set. It is very erotic for those of us with vertigo - or a vertigo fetish...you know vertigo is often caused by an inner ear infection, you should get that checked out. Right Click Save Target As.... Here |W|P|110416154141693267|W|P|I am - Honey Bunny|W|P|12/27/2004 10:24:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|This is probably somewhere on the site, but I gave it such an intense and long intro that it got lost and no one clicked the link....So here it is ... nice and simple... Adrianna Lima's dirty nipple.....it tastes better than it looks. Picture 1 - Here Pictrure 2 - Here |W|P|110416125101329128|W|P|I am - Adrianna Nipple Slip|W|P|12/27/2004 09:59:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Today is a day to reflect on the year that has passed us by all too quickly. We are all another year older, and in a cynical way... 1 year closer to death.. but take the time to think about the great people in your life, as I have been doing all week...this is what google had to say about great people in the "google image search of the day", have I told you lately that the Drunken Stepfather is back? Here The Top 5 Results are: Wouldn't let Him Babysit my Kids, Great Person Huge Head, Great Person Bad Music, Great People Boring State, Great People The Drinks were a Little rank, the people were GREAT |W|P|110416065325602752|W|P|I am - Great People|W|P|12/27/2004 09:51:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|

Welcome Back,

The girls had a FANTASTIC christmas, the La Perla lingerie was a huge success...and I was in a place called heaven when they gave me my gift which consisted of a hot fashion show...with a lot of booze, a lot of food, and a whole lot of young fresh skin....

The Drunken Stepfather Revival begins today - tell your friends!

Our Spam of the day is:

To: drunkjesus@gmail.com

From:Carlo Norton

Subject: Deandre the party starts at 10

So last week I told you the secret about how porn stars stay hard after they cum.

What I forgot to tell you was how incredibily rock hard you will be.

I'm not joking. You will be harder than you can possibily imagine.

It will feel so good you will cry with ecstacy.

Not to mention that you will also be thicker and longer.

Doesn't deeper inside her sound too good to be true?

If you don't know what I am talking about, then you have never tried Cialis.

Give your life a new meaning right here.

***WARNING***

She will fall in love with you!

|W|P|110415953719944206|W|P|I am - Spam of the day|W|P|12/26/2004 10:01:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Reggie White, some football player I heard was pretty good died today. He was the NFL's Defensive Player of the Year in 1987 and 1998, and was also an ordained minister. He began his career with the Memphis Showboats of the USFL in 1984, and joined the Philadelphia Eagles (search), who held his NFL rights, after the USFL folded in 1985. More HERE|W|P|110411721104432356|W|P|I am - Dead Celebrity of the Day ( Reggie White)|W|P|12/26/2004 09:44:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|"Imagine finding unexplained condoms around your house and then waking up one night to find your partner having sex with a stranger." This is some article about a condition where women have sex in their sleep, but I'm too drunk to read it so check it out yourself if your intrested. HERE|W|P|110411584336118154|W|P|I am - having "Sex Sleep"|W|P|12/26/2004 09:38:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|The Drunken Stepfather loves to sin, I should know I am his lawyer. But i think out of all the 7 deadly sins lust is his favorite by a mile. Find out if your soul has been polluted by lust too. HERE|W|P|110411534588950290|W|P|I am - Sin Test|W|P|12/26/2004 09:07:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|We love Jews and celebrities here at DS and thought what could be better then starting a feature that pairs the two. Today's Jewish Celeb is Lindsay Sloane. Lindsay was in some good movies, like Sabrina Down Under and the hilarious cheerleader movie, Bring It On. She has played in too many television shows and movies to list, but some other highlights include: Miss Match, That 70’s Show, Sabrina The Teenage Witch, Grosse Point, Dharma and Greg, and My So Called Life. Lindsay is an alum of BBYO – The B’nai B’rith Youth Organization, so being Jewish has obviously been a big part of her life. Here’s a fun fact about Lindsay: She was the maid of honor at the wedding of Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Junior. Bet you didn’t know that (or care)! See her pics, (i think i can see her nipple in the first one) Here, Here and HERE (topless)|W|P|110411422282071562|W|P|I am - Celebrity Jew of the day|W|P|12/26/2004 01:20:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Dude - Larry Clark is a pimp. This guy is one of my influences. He is a photographer from Tulsa, and he used to have a speed addiction. One of his major books was Teenage Lust, that had pictures of youth naked. He has kept this theme going in a bunch of his movies, like Kids, Bully, Teenage Caveman etc. In Ken Park, a movie he made with his partner in Kids (Harmony Korine) he shows full on blowjob and threesomes and shit. This is before Gallo ripped them off and got Chloe Sevigny up on his jock (she is Korine's girlfriend). I would post the clips to the threesome and blowjob, but I am more interested in seeing a kid eat out a Soap Star named Maeve Quinlin. Check out the page here |W|P|110498891239913959|W|P|I am - Larry Clark|W|P|12/25/2004 06:30:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Everyday we look at our extreme tracker to discover how do people find out on about us from the engines. Here is How MSN: lindsday lohan nude #3 (I Love Typos) Google: kurt russell uncircumcised #3 Google "the kind of issue you were discussing" #1 MSN: bigboys.com pamela anderson #6 Well thats it for today|W|P|110401801136324725|W|P|I am - Search Results of the Day (with ranking)|W|P|12/24/2004 04:28:00 PM|W|P|Dirty Vegetable|W|P|I'm sick and tired of seeing bitches using urinals. |W|P|110392387029204269|W|P|Piss like a man, I think not!|W|P|12/24/2004 03:22:00 PM|W|P|Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie|W|P|gentleman please talking is waste of my precious time come to my house i will meet you in the backyard and we will have a fucking orgy. i've been waiting for you all this time, and no romance bulshit about fucking me through john malkovitch is going to get me off. i need your greasy fucking sausage hands taking advantage of my nimble body. i want to be broken in half. just take advantage of me, one at a time or everyone at once. either way i want it now, everywhere, all the time, untill i cant take it anymore and cum like im some underaged private school gorl the first time the gym teacher inserts his austrian penis in her itsy bitsy teeny weeny vagina hole. |W|P|110392000657391492|W|P|i am-throwing alcohol on you and then tossing the match|W|P|12/24/2004 04:02:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Reading this makes me want to eat peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies.12/25/2004 01:43:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|I will come over,
But I need to cum in your pubic hair
it is a fetish
i am not sure what kind of fetsih
i will call it 70s porn fetish
there is this one scene in Debbie Does Dallas where Mr Harwick lures one of the cheerleaders into his house, by offering her a job in the candle shop...he ends up securing a 3-way with her and his wife...they both have muff and not the mink kind of muff I saw in that Bing Crosby Holiday Inn movie, but muff like pubic hair muff...and he busts all over it...

I am like won't like that dry up and cause discomfort...
then i realize it turns me on more than a tranny on transit in a transport with a broken transmission listening to trance music transcending transparent transfers transposed by the german translator who also had a kidney transplant due to a transmembrane for the left side to the right.....this transverse universe gets me hard...but not as hard as orgasms on the muff ( the pubic kind)12/25/2004 01:58:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|I would take a transatlantic flight, if only I could land in your love bun, but I know you are like a barbie doll and lack a thing called genitals...

I will let you get down with me,

But not today, another day, Today I am reading my book on Terry Richardson and Anthony Bourdain, a guide to being a gentleman, California Fashions and 80s movies. It may take upwards of 12 hours...but when I am done I am hoping you won't be in the upright position, but rather on your back, knees on my shoulder, chlamydia spraying my thighs....12/24/2004 09:40:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|To the people who visit this site.... Enjoy the weekend ... I won't be updating, but some people here may... Merry Christmas ... and Big Up to All Jews, enjoy the Boxing Day Sale, I know you love a great deal you thrifty shopper ... you! |W|P|110389930544082556|W|P|I am - Out of Town|W|P|9/26/2005 03:19:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Zuki|W|P|Found a lot of useful info on your site about Funny Pictures - thank you. Haven't finished reading it yet but have bookmarked it so I don't lose it. I've just started a Funny Pictures blog myself if you'd like to stop by12/24/2004 09:30:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|While in Mexico, I got drunk on tequila one night at the age of 6 and made a bet with my priest that I could handle getting circumsized....so I did it and now I regret it. I joined a support group and every night we discuss how we wish we never lost the most sensitive part of our penises...most guys blame their parents, I can only blame myself. I was young and influencable...like a 17 year old girl on coke.... Here is info on Foreskin Reconstruction Here is a product that helps you re-grow a Foreskin |W|P|110389886296307974|W|P|I am - Foreskin Reconstruction|W|P|12/24/2004 09:25:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I don't care about celebrities unless they are hot, young and willing to please to further their careers. This is some random celeb stories that don't get me hard..but make me laugh...if I knew how to laugh. 1 - Johnny Ramones Wife and Mother Fight Over His Estate here 2-Rod Stewart sleeps with a Transexual here 3-Pam Anderson Kisses Stephen Dorf here (She has Hepatitis, does he have a death wish) |W|P|110389860057336489|W|P|I am - Celebrity Gossip Update for the Day|W|P|9/26/2005 03:50:00 PM|W|P|Blogger marissa|W|P|I love your information on Funny Pictures I bookmarked your blog and will be back soon. If you want, check out my blog on Funny Pictures Exposed - please come by12/24/2004 09:19:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|The Phil Flash site features a whole lot of girls who don't get naked, but pose in their underwear. The main girls are Tiffany Teen, Next Door Nikki and Princess Blue Eyes. Here they are covered in chocolate....I like the kiddie pool...these girls are classy, they remind me of upscale trailer park girls, not the ones with no teeth. |W|P|110389816782537372|W|P|I am - Phil Flash|W|P|12/24/2004 09:13:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I am a lover and not a fighter, when a woman asks me to hit her, I say I will baby from the back This guy isn't so nice, he smacks this bitch down, if he knows anything, he should touch her inappropriately while she's out cold. I did that once but roofies were involved. I was young and experimental.....I remember dragging her out of the club and telling everyone she had too much to drink, it was wild! Her foaming mouth made a nice warm place.... HERE |W|P|110389783868436542|W|P|I am - beating up women|W|P|12/24/2004 09:01:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Google images is back in effect. Today's word is Twat and the results can be found here Type 5 Images Twat the Place Twat the Protest Twat the Leather Cowboy Twat the Cop Twat the Clown |W|P|110389734663180465|W|P|I am - Twat|W|P|12/24/2004 08:41:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I was reading the Lohan Speak Album liner notes the other day as I was practicing a dance routine for the song "Rumors", and I noticed something funny. LinLo proclaimed her love to my little mexican buddy Wilmer. I didn't realize how funny it was until I read it on OhNoTheyDidn't.....This is what it says... Wilmer: Since you have come into my life you have been so supportive and understanding. I feel blessed to have you. Thank you for being by my side whenever I need you. Papi, thanks for telling me I can do it all and for being proud. Thank you for loving me. I love you. It is an unfortunate case of being a fool, a fool in love with a mexican. But it is nice having this permanently part of your album, to remind of what being drunk and in love felt like. You are 18 and our mexican loverboy is older. You were the "it" girl, you were all over the media, you had big boobs, you were appealing and sexually inexperienced so you wouldn't mind his ridiculously small penis. He is Fez from the '70s show, he has lots of money and little talent, his hobbies include picking up young girls and fucking them. I hate to break it to you but he never loved you like I did Lohan, he just told you that to get you to do anal...He was never supportive, but he acted like he cared because it was all part of the manipulation process....when he realized that were annoying and obsessed and after having you in every position he needed you in, your job was done. Lindsay Lohan where is Wilmer Valderamma now? Is he in Ashlee Simpson or Mandy Moore? Has he found a new C-Lister to C on? Don't worry Jesus Martinez can make you feel a lot of things, I am sure blessed is one of them... your inexperience in the bedroom is a turn-on for me, I can be the sex educator. And the only person you should be calling Papi is your DrunkenStepfather, now come sit on my lap I have a story to tell you.... It is Christmas afterall.... |W|P|110389671321572710|W|P|I am - Lohan Liner Notes|W|P|9/26/2005 08:14:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Weedlet|W|P|Your blog is great. It's hard to find blogs with good content and people talking about Funny Pictures these days. I have a Funny Pictures Exposed if you want to come check it out.12/24/2004 08:34:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I am pale and I look like a rapist on heroin. My stylized facial hair has nothing on my black eye. I have spent a night in Paris and it wasn't that eventful. Here |W|P|110389555013756591|W|P|I am - Paris Hilton's Boyfriend|W|P|12/24/2004 05:04:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Does watching an hour of the OC leave you confused and dizzy. Not sure who's related to who and the love intrests between all the various kids...Me either, but if you want to look "COOL" with the young kids you gotta know whats up on the O.C. It's the Beverlly Hills 90210 for this generation. This handy little chart will help you fake your way through an OC conversation on Seth Cohen, Julie Cooper, Ryan Atwood and the rest. Chart Here|W|P|110388304855819003|W|P|I am - OC Chart|W|P|12/24/2004 04:20:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|NICO VAN HOORN has made the world a little better with his TRASHLOG. He collects a Piece of trash for the internet everyday. Find out more HERE|W|P|110388026177360558|W|P|I am - NICO VAN HOORN|W|P|12/24/2004 04:20:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|This is a long one, read it if youre bored Almost all Coca Cola produced in the United States is made with corn syrup instead of sugar. Corn syrup is cheaper because imported sugar is subject to tariffs. It is only a tiny price difference, but a tiny difference adds up to some money when you are producing billions of cokes. Some Coca Cola mavens claim that Coke tastes better when made with sugar. There are only two major sources of Coca-Cola with sugar in the United States. Some Mexican restaurants import Mexican Coca Cola. (We hesitate to say they import Mexican coke). The other source is well-known to "real thing" mavens. During Passover, the Coca Cola bottling company of New York makes kosher for Passover Coke. Sugar is used instead of corn syrup, because corn is not considered kosher for Passover by Orthodox Jews of Ashkenazi background. Coke mavens, Jewish or not Jewish, try to snap up the Coke produced during the six week period when "kosher for Passover" coke is on the market. It is referred to as "the search" among Coke lovers. In point of fact, the difference between Coke containing corn syrup and Coke with sugar is pretty minimal. The water quality of the area where the Coke is bottled has more to do with the variations in taste than anything else. New York City is justly famous for having a great source of good tasting water. Therefore, the "kosher" great taste that many out-of-New York Coke drinkers attribute to the sugar in kosher for Passover Coke may be due to the water.|W|P|110388026252885226|W|P|I am - Jewish Fact of the day|W|P|12/24/2004 04:20:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Yahoo: chyna's penis in porn video #24 MSN Search: gonerhea pictures #2 MSN Search: santa2005 #7 Yahoo: Jewish Sluts MSN Search: ashley flint go kart accident #38 Google: drunken stepfather #1 HOTBOT: tommy lee's big cock pic #7 (i wish i was making this up)|W|P|110388102780705404|W|P|I am - Yahoo and Google Rankings|W|P|12/24/2004 04:02:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|When looking at the stats of this site, which I do sometimes, I find a lot of people come to our site from random searches. I decided to feature the top three searches, if there are days that aren't so interesting, I will make search results up..... Today's top 3 search results are: (these are real) 1-chyna's penis in porn video 2-uncles sucking their little nieces cunt 3-gonerhea pictures |W|P|110387993362811390|W|P|I am - Search Result of the Day|W|P|12/24/2004 03:20:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|After reading the Minx Winxy Pudding + Pie smut on my site, I thought to myself that I need to delete this self-righteous shit, it isn't part of the Drunken Stepfather way. I was going to make the decision to ban her but I figured I would let the people voice their opinions in the comment section. It would be unfair to dump her, without having your support, I mean you are the ones reading this shit, not me. The Reasons We Should Keep Her on Here: 1- She is 18, and my stepdaughter's are in that age range, I like the energy, enthusiasm, perky tits and naivity (i love that word, i think it is the umlaut that i love, punctuation sometimes makes me happy). 2- She thinks I am funny and that is good for my ego, sometimes my failure as a son and as a husband gets me down, and any positive reinforcement keeps me going. 3- She is a Jewish Slut, and this site is all about Jewish Sluts. The Reasons She Has To Go: 1- Self-righteous poetry shit doesn't get me hard, if I wanted that shit on here, I would have started a blog called Mr-Martinez's Shopping List (great feature idea - this is how the genius happens, you just witnessed it, how does it feel to be in my brain for a minute, pretty nice isn't it...), back to this self absorbed shit, where assumptions are made about people actually caring about your feelings/and your daily activities. That shit is reserved for kids with no friends and lesbian hippies who recently came out and need an outlet with an audience. Drunken Stepfather, hates that shit. 2- She isn't hot enough to make me cum all over-myself with little or no touching, it would take her a good amount of work to secure the climax, probably some prostate massaging....which I am sure I would enjoy...but it wouldn't be a volcanic reaction that I am looking for...i want a wet dream sensation, in the middle of the day, while eating some Chinese food and watching some John Malkovich.... 3-Nobody is into mind sex, you do have to take your clothes of yet, so post some nudity and the Stepfather says stay....and if you want to talk about boys you love in far aways places, can you try to talk about what you do to yourself while thinking about them... no one cares about black hole theory, unless that theory involves insertion and clit rockin! This doesn't have to be a Boys Club, I welcome content from the girl kind but there should be some regulations... I am - the enforcer...and I have said my piece, but now it is up to you. Post the comments whether we keep her, or ban her....I know what I think, but DrunkenStepfather.com is a democracy....so rock the vote like P.Diddy runs marathons. Post comments anonymously if you don't want me to know you are here (Lohan I am talking to you) - Jesus |W|P|110387764527506952|W|P|I am - Democracy|W|P|12/24/2004 03:59:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|I vote to get rid of her unless she sends a naked pics12/24/2004 04:04:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Kill Seinfeld that Yid-Lid never shuts her fucking bagel eating face...12/24/2004 06:09:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Get rid of her...if i wanted to hear her id listen to my woman12/24/2004 08:34:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Jesus Martinez|W|P|I have been told that she will be leaving to go on a cruise in the mother country...you won't have to read her smut until mid to end of january.12/26/2004 03:03:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|The sluts got to go!1/27/2005 11:02:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|WHAT THE F*** ARE U IDIOTS TALKING ABOUT HER SEXUAL STORIES ARE AWESOME ALTHOUGH MOST SOUND RATHER FICTION BEING A MEXICAN IT TELLS ME I CAN HAVE A CHANCE WITH A SLUTTY WHITE MINX U GUYS ARE IDIOTS INDEED SHE NEEDS TO STAY AND SHE SHOULD eMAIL ME AT HernandezS1@yahoo.com AND REWARD ME FOR WANTING TO SAVE HER!!12/24/2004 01:33:00 AM|W|P|Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie|W|P|i have a crush on this boy he lives 3000 miles away one day we will be reunited he is so goodlooking i cant shower anymore because every time the hot shower water drips down my body, i think of his tongue there because i have stopped bathing a certain scent is escaping my pores my parents sent me to dollard i have not seen anyone in four days i have made friends with racoons, like when i was a kid i fear they are trying to make an alliance with me so that when i am sleeping they can pick out my eyes. i stumble down corridors, and find this book by Jean Pierre Luminet about black holes. there are about 400ish pages but only one has writting on it and it says "hello margicka" which is the name my loved ones call me for endearment purposes. it was at this point that i blacked out.|W|P|110386663646084389|W|P|i am-a black whole theory|W|P|12/24/2004 03:15:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|shut the fuck up
keep your smutty banter to yourself
you fucking dirty lesbian twat
nobody cares
get over yourself
you never fucking shut up12/24/2004 03:18:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Jesus Martinez|W|P|for real - your blog entries are so self-righteous...do you ever think about things that don't involve you thinking about how fantastic you are? Is everything always about you? Did your daddy spoil you? Does he touch you in naughty places...proclaiming his love for you... does he say "don't tell mommy about what daddy does to you, she wouldn't understand, it is our little secret.." Is that the reason why you are the way you are? A greedy selfish whore? Or a a girl lost in herself?

Stop talking is what I ask for. I am Jesus Martinez, the drunken stepfather, but not your stepfather, because if I was I wouldn't get drunk and molest you, because you would probably sit there and bore me with your talk about how fucking fantastic you are..

Nobody care

Shut the fuck up

You are - Banned!9/26/2005 03:55:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Squirrel|W|P|Great work on your blog - it was very enlightening. You've got a lot of useful info on there about Funny Pictures so I've bookmarked your site so I don't lose it. I'm doing a lot of research on Funny Pictures Exposed and have just started a new blog - I'd really appreciate your comments12/23/2004 11:24:00 PM|W|P|The Illustrious Senior Magnifico|W|P|She's just really sweet. Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us And super sexy Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us By the way, I do believe her shirt is see-through. |W|P|110386232701363932|W|P|I am - In love with Mandy Moore|W|P|12/23/2004 11:01:00 PM|W|P|The Illustrious Senior Magnifico|W|P|A little while ago, I posted some clips from the Chyna Sex Tape known as 1 Night in China. Well, now you can download the whole thing (if you're into that - but we're not judging) by using BitTorrent. Here's the Torrent file: 1 Night in China Torrent (right-click and save as) The video is a 189 MB AVI file. You'll have to extract the Torrent file from the ZIP first. Don't know what BitTorrent is? Find out here|W|P|110386103744584371|W|P|I am - 1 Night in China Torrent|W|P|12/23/2004 01:07:00 PM|W|P|Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie|W|P|last night champagne loved me again. i stumbled into my house turned off the lights put on the alarm walked into a wall fell on the floor. looked at myself this morning in the starkness of nude truth saw that i had actually banged my head so hard i had split the skin but the blood had dried. clotted, if you'd like. felt down. hid in my room for a while. ended up dancing to disco to make my feet feel they were not left out. ended up dancing like a slut on fire. i am-sleeping with the champagne bottle|W|P|110382568521984973|W|P|I am - dancing like a slut on fire|W|P|12/23/2004 02:36:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|I am - a very stepfather fireman, say hello to my hose.12/24/2004 03:20:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Jesus Martinez|W|P|I have to ban you
Because you are dull
Sorry
It was lovely seeing your nipple!12/23/2004 11:58:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I want to smack this woman everytime she opens her obnoxious mouth. She is loud She is annoying She acts all out of control. Her career is pretty weak. But her playboy pics are pretty good. HERE |W|P|110382127607985924|W|P| I am - Jenny McCarthy Naked |W|P|12/23/2004 11:53:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I don't watch beauty pagaents. I find they give girls a false standard to live up to, like being a good person, and helping those in need. By making appearances to shows like "Extreme Home Makeover" to donate a Tiara for the little girl with cancer, do making visits to every hospital in the country, always sporting a smile and good hair. I think girls should learn how to be woman by watching reruns of Roseanne...it's more in tune with reality. This Teen USA posed for Playboy. Check out the pictures here |W|P|110382097666243228|W|P|I am - Miss Teen USA Naked|W|P|12/23/2004 11:50:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Justin Timberlake is in a Movie Called Edison. Justin Timberlake has a Sex Scene in Edison. It isn't as awkward as the time he popped Britney's Cherry. But it is less embarassing as the time Cameron Diaz introduced a strap-on in their relationship. HERE (straight from the source at Oh No You Didn't) |W|P|110382070708319529|W|P|I am - Timberlake's Sex Scene|W|P|9/26/2005 10:00:00 AM|W|P|Blogger marissa|W|P|Your blog is great. It's hard to find blogs with good content and people talking about Cameron Diaz these days. I have a Cameron Diaz Exposed if you want to come check it out.12/23/2004 11:47:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Pink Is a Man, it is official. The operation went smoothly, her cock is 9 inches of hot loving. Rumor is she still wears women's panties HERE |W|P|110382054302217372|W|P|I am - Transexual|W|P|12/23/2004 11:46:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|If I was Jessica Simpson, I would play with my boobs too.. Here |W|P|110382042550782667|W|P|I am - Grabbing My Tits|W|P|12/23/2004 11:41:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|When I was living in Long Island, I was a Janitor in a school. This school was the school the Lindsay Lohan attended. I got fired from this job for hiding in the girls locker room after class. I didn't get arrested because I had some important documents the Principle didn't want getting out, it would have destroyed his career. Those pictures were of Lohan sucking him off and taking a load on her freckled face, these pictures are from some of the girls in her school. HERE |W|P|110382034077891448|W|P|I am - Lohan's Gym Teacher|W|P|12/23/2004 11:37:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I know Paris isn't a Jewish Slut, and my lawyer advised me to stick with the Jewish Sluts content, if I really want to get us up in the google rankings of Jewish Sluts but I came across this instruction guide on how to talk to your kids about the Paris Hilton sex tape. I never had to talk to my kids about the sex tape, I just showed them Paris' and told them that when we make ours, they have to put a little more energy into it. Well let me tell you....my girls destroyed Paris on a scale of 1 to cumming on your face. Check out the guide here |W|P|110381999539044362|W|P|I am - Paris Hilton Sex Video Update|W|P|12/23/2004 11:25:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Looking for a screensaver of Lindsay Lohan well youre in luck because I have found you a one. Not just any screensaver mind you though, this is a sex-E screensaver which must mean it is is better right. The best part, I saved for last, ITS FREE, So enjoy. You're Welcome Screensaver 1.0 Bonus: Lohan Ringtones |W|P|110381935060871046|W|P|I am - Lindsay Lohan Sex-E Screensaver 1.0|W|P|12/23/2004 11:30:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Where the hell am I supposed to download this?12/23/2004 11:41:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Sorry about that, I will try to fix the post but Blogger is trying to stop me.
SCREENSAVER HERE12/23/2004 11:10:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Although it is late and we already reported about the shooting death of Dimebag Darrell Abbott we thought another post was necessary to tell the world how much old Dimebag from Damage plan meant to use. He was shot while performing live at a club in Columbus, Ohio. And after a quick google search I discovered I was not alone. The band has made a tribute page on their main page of thier site.This great man was born in Dallas, Texas, USA. His father was a country songwriter and owned a recording studio where Abbott watched many blues guitarists play. This early influence can be heard in many of Pantera's songs. At an early age, Abbott began entering statewide guitar competitions. By the age of 16 he was banned from entering because he had won too often. It was through the prizes he won at these competitions — including the guitar that later become his trademark — that he was able to start Pantera. Among his other influences were Eddie Van Halen and Ace Frehley. In addition, he cited many of his contemporaries among his influences, including Slayer's Kerry King, Zakk Wylde, Metallica's James Hetfield, and Helmet's Page Hamilton. Read the news sotires: NBC , CNN, My Way,Undercover (with video) |W|P|110381899357989745|W|P|I am - Missing Dimebag Darrell of Damageplan|W|P|12/23/2004 03:32:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|thats right folks...after much convincing from your and my favorite stepfather I have decided to take the plunge. I have my first email account thanks to an invite from the DrunkenStepfather. So feel free to email any Jewish or Legal questions and I will answer them as fast as I can. Brad.Jew@gmail.com Don't be Shy Oh by the way, First email question in my account gets a GMAIL invite if that means anything to any of you. |W|P|110379122709507782|W|P|I am - Email Enabled|W|P|9/26/2005 03:09:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Lorna|W|P|I really enjoyed your content on Funny Picturesand will be back very frequently! I actually have my own Funny Pictures Exposed blog with all kinds of stuff in it. You�re welcome to com by.12/23/2004 03:11:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Back by popular demand is the jewish post of the day. Learn a new factoid about God's chosen people. Today's Installment: A Jew is any person whose mother was a Jew or any person who has gone through the formal process of conversion to Judaism. |W|P|110378964007558190|W|P|I am - Jewish Fact of the Day|W|P|12/23/2004 03:00:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Today's Google Image search is brought to us by every cunt you have encountered, in either a good way (cunt tastes like candy) or the bad way (cunt took my kids from me and won't let me have visitation) The results are here And these are the top 5: Cunt with syphlis (or some other shit I wouldn't fuck) Sodomite Cunt Old Dirty Cunt (ODB's Sister) Holy Cunt Flat Eric is a Cunt |W|P|110378940850262643|W|P|I am - Cunt|W|P|12/23/2004 09:54:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Pimpin Polye$ter P|W|P|Is this some mexican cunts joke that pimp cunts don't get? 'Cause I'm not fucking laughing Martinez !!!

used with permission of Rory Breaker ya fawkin cunts !12/23/2004 02:47:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Ever been in a strange state or far away country and see a hot girl and need to know is she legal? OK that might not happen to most of you often..but my clients pay me to keep up to date on this information, just in case an age "emergency" occurs. The site anwsers the age old question: "How old is OLD ENOUGH?" It's a pedofiles ultimate vacation planner. Find out where consent rules are 13 and under like in Burkina Faso (13), Chile (12), Guyana (13), etc. Find the Guide at Age of Consent|W|P|110378896764397533|W|P|I am - Age of Consent|W|P|12/22/2004 08:58:00 PM|W|P|The Illustrious Senior Magnifico|W|P|Hiyo. If you enjoy reading the rants of the Drunken Stepfather, you may well find this latest entry of the Zach Braff blog right up your proverbial alley. Make sure you check out the New Year's resolutions. I'll be adding them to my list for sure. Zach Braff's Garden State Blog: Yub-Nub|W|P|110376709436973986|W|P|I am - Zach Braff's Garden State Blog|W|P|12/23/2004 03:48:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|That post was criminally bad. I am going to sue your for the pain and suffering you have caused me. See you in court.12/23/2004 03:49:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.12/22/2004 06:57:00 PM|W|P|Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie|W|P|take me down i like being held down where is my stepfather when i need him? bombs over bagdad is the song i sing in my head while i nibble at his testicles.|W|P|110375990693514833|W|P|I am - world trade center|W|P|12/22/2004 06:33:00 PM|W|P|Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie|W|P|i have a confession to make- this evening, at the ripe hour of 2 pm (all good things happen at 2 pm) i went to escape to my stepfathers secret apartment complex. he got me nice and comfortable with a bottle of red dep wine and some cigarettes and spoke to me about his past fiascos with femmes fatales (who were never as fatal as me he added with a hand placed on my inner thigh). as my nipples turned hard when he took my coat and openned the window and turned on his webcam, he came over and sat down, on his knees in front of me, and waited for me to ay something to put him at ease. i could tell that he was stressed by the bulging bulge in his pants. as i openned my mouth to say something comforting..something along the lines of "do you have any lollipops daddy?" or "remember the first time you gave me my bikini wax?" or "remember that time you woke me up to tell me i had my period?"-in any case as i was choosing which statement to state, i closed my eyes aND FOUND MYSELF sucking on something that did NOT taste like a lollipop.i openned my eyes to see my stepfather topless, grinding his manly belly infornt of me, with his manhood in my mouth! as his head tilted back in sheer exstacy and his cheeks redenned with desire, he complimented me by getting out how much better i was than my mother. i smiled inside and sucked a little harder. i even jolted my head from side to side and let my tongue go slack and lap at it for a bit because i knew he liked it like that. after all this, in the shower, when he was washing my vagina and my armpits (which he has been doing for as long as i have known him, even before my parents started going out and he wasjust the pool boy who babysat me on weekends when she was too drunk to cook or turn off the alarm)he passed me the soup through my no spot and as i felt my cheek begin to redin and my forehead to perspire and feel the tingles all over my body, as his haND went up and down with the soap bar and his manly fingers going in and out and in and out and in and out, he took my mouth, put it next to his manhood and as i started bobbing up and down again, he lifted me up, holding me by my bakside, andwent inside of me, he looked deep into my eyes and told me he would always be here for me, for this, and that he would never let me go or get away. i love my stepfather, and i told him then, and all he did was say "yeAH" and shake as his manhood exploded inside of me with the spinache tasting milkshake (i love spinache flavoured milkshakes. i am-my stepfathers mistress, and i love it. mommy would be proud. |W|P|110375927763529280|W|P|I am - my stepfather's mistress|W|P|12/22/2004 02:04:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|See Paris Hilton without undies See Hillary Duff with undies See Heidi Klum with undies See me without undies |W|P|110374277519885180|W|P|I am - Celebrity Underwear|W|P|12/22/2004 02:44:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Pimpin Polye$ter P|W|P|Martinez why are you only postin skinny pasty annorexic cracka bitchez pics12/22/2004 09:52:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Jesus Martinez|W|P|Polyester P...

I don't have any fat lady panty shots
I do have Star Jones in a bikini though?
Dig it like a polaroid picture12/23/2004 09:48:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Pimpin Polye$ter P|W|P|forget fat mang, I want thick big ol butt latinas

no homo but its in you Martinez just like its in your sister...so gimme some one of them brazilian or rican plump rump mami bitchez with they whole future behind em !!!

I want my hand to bounce back like round ball when i palm that shit

feel me12/22/2004 01:39:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I kept this feature alive for our girl readers. Remember - we feature teen heart throbs. Today's heart throb is the President of the USA - Naked HERE ( we got this from popbitch.com) |W|P|110374082911543016|W|P|I am - Teen Heart Throb|W|P|12/22/2004 01:13:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|If you type Jewish Sluts into Yahoo.com, we are the 15th result. Our goal is to become the top result. This is going to take a lot of work, but we are determined Today's Jewish Slut of the day is HERE We don't know if she is Jewish, or if she is a she and not a he, but every Samara I know is a Jew - so I am gonna run with this... YARMULKEBRA |W|P|110374013474455871|W|P|I am - Jewish Sluts|W|P|12/22/2004 11:30:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I don't watch TV, my stepdaughters do...but I don't. These are naked contestants/cast of MTV shows Naked. I have nothing else to say, except that Trishelle gave my friend Pedro herpes. Here (F.U.B.A.R.) |W|P|110373316397950129|W|P|I am - Real World/Road Rules Naked|W|P|10/01/2005 12:05:00 AM|W|P|Blogger NewhampshireMan12|W|P|Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a picture of herpes virus site/blog. It pretty much covers picture of herpes virus related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)12/22/2004 03:00:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Because of my love of all things francais...I will continue the theme of poutine. Therefore the word(s) of the day is: "Poutine Sex" See the results Here Favorites (wow this is easy when there are only 2 results) Poutine Couple Bust |W|P|110370276565431804|W|P|I am - Google Image search of the Day|W|P|12/22/2004 02:46:00 AM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|Before going to bed each night I like to read the Times of India. But I was suprised to see Lohan is big even there. There is an article on the naughtiest people of 04 poll that heavy did. Osama and Lohan top the list way above hotel slut Pairs H. I wonder will she be happy or mad. Read the article HERE |W|P|110370221420835820|W|P|I am - Naughty Lohan|W|P|12/22/2004 02:13:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Lohan, a natural freckled redhead decided to fight fire with fire at some event she went to. Her revenge was to take pictures of the Paparazi .... She's out of control, maybe it's all the coke she's been doing, it's leaving her all edgy and shit. Here |W|P|110369972667527044|W|P|I am - Fighting Fire With Fire (Crotch)|W|P|12/22/2004 10:19:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Pimpin Polye$ter P|W|P|Somebody aint takin care of they business...the bitch runnin around reckless like she untouchable. Somebody need to lay the back hand on this bird and put her in check12/22/2004 01:57:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Jennifer Anniston spent 1900 dollars in a sex shop. The rumor is she was buying her granny the jackrabbit, because there is nothing like given a 90 year old woman in a wheel chair an orgasm, or so I have been told..... The story can be found here The rumor is she bought this. We know her marriage is falling apart, and we don't care. |W|P|110369883339032683|W|P|I am - Sex Toy Spending|W|P|12/22/2004 01:53:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|My dad always told me to stretch after working out. This is a picture of his demonstration.... Here |W|P|110369862171711868|W|P|I am - Life Lesson|W|P|12/22/2004 01:52:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Paris Hilton is endorsing a pot-flavored candy which is really "hot" considering she is used to sucking on herpes cock..... Speacking of sucking in the bedroom - Paris claims that she isn't a sexual person, and that she prefers watching movies and just kissing...this comes as no surprise for those of us who saw the sex tape, there were no jerk-off opportunities....I had to go back to watching reruns of the Cosby Show. For more on the pot story go here For more on the "sex is boring story" you will have to wait for Rolling Stone to release their People of the Year issue. Paris is still considered a person... |W|P|110369750642120161|W|P|I am - Pot Flavored Candy|W|P|10/01/2005 12:05:00 AM|W|P|Blogger DailyLinks|W|P|I have a gential herpes site/blog. It pretty much covers gential herpes related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)12/22/2004 01:39:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Britney Spears is a Stepmother. I am - a stepfather. That means if you put Britney and me in a room together we would be a hot set of step-parents. Don't worry, I am mexican, I am used to smell ....and just so you know those werent her feet that stank up the plane, it was K-Feds rotting semen... girl's trying preggers...giver her a break. Kevin Federline knocked up his last conquest Shar Jackson without any real problems...I am thinking maybe B-Fed has ovary issues. Shar Jackson looks like this, and refuses to spend x-mas with the Federlines and the babies as one big family.... Rumor is Star and Al Jones are going to be taking Shar's place, but that's only because Star Jones likes turkey....as much as I like homeless looking billionaire drug addicts |W|P|110369836915199347|W|P|I am - A Step-Parent|W|P|12/21/2004 11:30:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|When men get old they don't worry about their dick sizes. Even though they sometimes should. I was on planetsuzy.com and came across pictures of Kurt Russell naked. HERE He's the one banging Goldie Hawn and molesting her daughter Kate Hudson, but it's cool, from one stepfather to another ' respect' |W|P|110369223193102692|W|P|I am - Kurt Russell's Penis|W|P|12/21/2004 10:46:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Come here boys and girls, there is something I love to do...and that is tell great stories to all of you... it's something I started doing when I was a little boy. I didn't have the luxuries you had like TV, Parents and friends. I was alone, so I would tell stories to the animals in the woods.... This is a story that I remember vividly.....I hope you like it...I am not sure where I got it, probably harmony korine's book 10 years ago... or whenever it was published. I used to be a fan.. A blind boy and his older brother live together in a small house with their middle-aged mother. The older brother takes care of his blind brother. He walks him arm-in-arm to school- and to the playground- He tries to teach him how to play basketball. One day the blind boy recovers his eyesight. The Blind boy begins an " AFFAIR" With his brother. The mother freaks out- the blind boy kills himself…. The Book Crack Up at the Race Riots can be found Here |W|P|110368768249878538|W|P|I am - Story Telling....|W|P|12/21/2004 08:56:00 PM|W|P|Johnny Mack Brown|W|P|Looking for a holiday project. Bake gingerpornbread cookies with the family, or the stepfamily. Instructions are easy to follow, even if you are from a red state Here|W|P|110368058321980588|W|P|I am - Ejaculating Eclair|W|P|12/22/2004 02:31:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Please STOP posting..face it you suck.
You must live in Ontario. Only an ontarion can be that lame12/22/2004 07:25:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Johnny Mack Brown|W|P|shut the fuck up you anonymous piece of shit.
nobody asks you to read this shit

you are probably a poor ugly jew that has nothing else to do..the rest of your family is probably successful and you struggle with an inferiority complex. leaving negative posts make you feel better about being worthless for a split second

next time you post, tell us who you are9/26/2005 03:08:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Weedy|W|P|I appreciate your information on Funny Pictures. I just bookmarked your site and will be back regulalry to keep on top of it. Please check out my blog on Funny Pictures Exposed - I'd really appreciate it12/21/2004 07:46:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|With little fanfare or attention the creator of the poutine Fernand Lachance, died earlier this year at the age of 86. And guess what he died of: Thats right, pulmonary disease. Although he did live till 86 so thats not to bad. It all happend one cold september night in 1957. That was where Lachance met a trucker with a special request. "I wanted fries, but I saw cheese curds on the counter. I asked Fernand to mix them together," Read on Here |W|P|110367684411771620|W|P|I am - "Mr. Poutine"|W|P|12/21/2004 11:17:00 PM|W|P|Blogger The Illustrious Senior Magnifico|W|P|Hey Brad,

Just thought you should know, Pulmonary disease is lung disease, so he probably died from smoking, not eating poutine.12/22/2004 01:17:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Jesus Martinez|W|P|Yeah - I was thinking the same thing.. I just didn't want to upset him, he is my lawyer after all...12/22/2004 12:14:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|How dare you question me!! I will sue you all. I know it is a lung disease, but is it a surprise that a guy that a Quebecer that made poutines died of lung cancer. He must have smoked 2 packs a day in the casse croute.12/21/2004 05:04:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|I think our muslim fans are feeling neglected from our lack of attention to their religion. So i asked my assistant to pull up some of the Sex rules for Islamists. ENJOY Sexual intercourse invalidates the fast, even if the penetration is as little as the tip of the male organ, and even if there has been no ejaculation. * If the penetration is less than the tip of the male organ, so that it cannot be said that intercourse has taken place, also if no ejaculation takes place, the fast does not become invalid. This applies to both, circumcised and uncircumcised men 1596. If a person forgets that he is observing fast and commits sexual intercourse or he is compelled to have sexual intercourse in a manner that makes him helpless, his fast does not become void. However, if he remembers (that he is observing fast) or ceases to be helpless during sexual intercourse, he should withdraw from the sexual intercourse at once, and if he does not, his fast becomes void. |W|P|110366698043576544|W|P|I am - Islam Sex Rules|W|P|12/21/2004 04:53:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|In this multi part series I will take you through the Jewish Attitudes Towards Sexuality and make you a better person. According to my Rabbi, "sexual desire comes from the "yetzer ra" (the evil impulse. Like hunger, thirst or other basic instincts, sexual desire must be controlled and channeled" (What the hell does that mean). He also told me "when sexual desire is satisfied between a husband and wife at the proper time, out of mutual love and desire, sex is a mitzvah". (I wonder if that includes your stepdaughter) Thats it for now...my Rabbi is hungry and Im taking out for a nice Gefilte Fish dinner. Tune in next time |W|P|110366653281983894|W|P|I am - Kosher Sex part 1|W|P|12/21/2004 04:16:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|All I want for Christmas is a Jew.... That being said.. maybe you have asked yourself what do Jews do for Xmas.... Well topping the list is Go out for Chinese Food. But I would argue that a lot go away to the beach, mainly florida to visit their bubbies.... The list of what Jews do for xmas is here |W|P|110366407787495040|W|P|I am - Jewish Xmas|W|P|12/21/2004 03:58:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Here are some gift ideas when shopping for a poor person 1- Rubbing alcohol 2- Can of Baked Beans 3- Food Stamps 4- Crack Rock 5- Iceberg Lettuce |W|P|110366277082988732|W|P|I am - Poor People's Christmas |W|P|12/21/2004 03:36:00 PM|W|P|Johnny Mack Brown|W|P|Everyone hates them They use up our tax dollars They shop at Wal Mart They are less educated They are less attractive They upsize when they can Most of them are obese They prey on rich people during the holidays They where snowsuits that don't match They are - Poor People Definition: [n] a person with few or no possessions Synonyms: have-not See Also: down-and-out, drifter, floater, pauper, poor man, unfortunate, unfortunate person, vagrant See what a poor person looks like Here Here Here |W|P|110366139747393508|W|P|I am - Ignorant|W|P|12/21/2004 07:11:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|This is the worst post I have ever read!12/21/2004 08:19:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|i jerked off to it
but i jerk off to weird things
often12/21/2004 11:00:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Johnny Mack Brown|W|P|Poor people tend not to like these posts12/21/2004 11:12:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Handjob Hector|W|P|I am poor - But get VIP status at all of DJ Ams parties...9/26/2005 05:01:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Rolo|W|P|Found a lot of useful info on your site about Funny Pictures - thank you. Haven't finished reading it yet but have bookmarked it so I don't lose it. I've just started a Funny Pictures blog myself if you'd like to stop by12/21/2004 02:52:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Carl's Jr has a new hard hitting Breakfast Burger that has 830 calories and 46 grams of fat. Their slogan is "It's a Coffee Shop Breakfast Plate on a Bun" It consists of Egg, Hash Browns, Bacon and an All Beef Patty and cheese nestled between two hamburger buns. An insider said this "Our Theory was that the lower consumption pattern for burgers was due to the lack of availability and awareness of burgers as a breakfast option or the lack of a burger specifically designed for breakfast" If you want to see this dirty slophole - suicide sandwich click here |W|P|110365933685777918|W|P|I am - Breakfast Burger Beef Curtains|W|P|12/21/2004 02:43:00 PM|W|P|Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie|W|P|the tables have turned. no longer can i declare what is commonly known as holy war on guilty bystanders, because my time has come to get knocked. this morning, at breakfast, innocently eating my 7 pub style chicken fingers, my step mother walks in and tells me i am eating the wrong fingers, i grabbed her fist and attempted to take a bite but as my delightfully unmanicured hands grabbed her horribly manicured hands, she yelped, i stopped, resorted to eating my own fingers, thank you VERY MUCH. as i got up, mid meal with my fingers in between my un-lipsticked lips, dodging plates, plants and fried matzoh (which was being aimed at me, even though i was EATING- anyways i was getting ready to walk up the stairs to go back into bed (current time, 2 pm) when nanny screams "you look like shit, take a shower and put some makeup on!" to which i yelled back, with a fist which pierced through the air like a proud beacon of my beliefs "I AM AGAINST MAINTENANCE!" and crept back under the covers, with my fingers.|W|P|110365871765737466|W|P|i am - under attack|W|P|12/21/2004 02:20:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|Friendster Message of the Day comes from Cynthia. Cynthia overanalyzes everything and am completely paranoid about the smallest details. she laughs too loudly. and swears too often. chugs expensive coffee like water and spends all her money on art. i have the best job in the world and let all the waiters buy me drinks (as often as they'd like). i fall in love with older boys and enjoy (faking) orgasmic bliss. Her Subject was Randy: Her Message was: i'm a little overwhelmed. but i LIKE it. i'm really not a man. my french sucks too. i would only be able to tolerate celine if i was really plastered and drawing you naked. my alcohol tolerance is embarassing. we should make out. i'd let you touch my boob. i'm glad you introduced me to your female-named hero. tell him i said hi. i'm a bit of a prude. but i was serious about my teachers. i think you're clever. i wonder if our inperson conversations would be dull or excentric you make me blush. i think we should seriously go for drinks. i wonder if you'd stand me up. i'm pasty white too. and always have paint on my hands. my eyes are green. i stalk scott moffatt. i am random.and intrigued. and goddammit your humor is a turn on. now what? |W|P|110365866463069506|W|P|I am - The Man in the Poon|W|P|12/21/2004 02:17:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|This is a new feature that will last for about 1 hour....It is food products that I would assume poor people feed their family because of the low cost and high value (can feed a lot of people). The stereotypical Poor People food that comes to mind is Kraft Dinner, Spam and Baked Beans...but I believe that there are better products out there. Send in submissions if you want, but I probably won't listen, because I hate you. Today's Poor Man's Food Product is : Tomato Paste Here Tomato paste is a commercial concentrate of puréed tomatoes commonly sold in small cans and used to add flavor and body to sauces. For superior flavor, look for tubes of imported double-strength tomato concentrate in Italian delicatessens and well-stocked food stores. |W|P|110365679588591107|W|P|I am - Poor Man's Food Product of the Day|W|P|12/21/2004 01:50:00 PM|W|P|Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie|W|P|this morning i looked at myself you need to tweeze my face screamed at myself-to no one in particular- but, hypothetically, if i were to start tweezing, then my dry skin would flake off, and i would have to get out the toner, and then the astringent, and then wash my face, dry it, do the toner thing again, put on the topical coat that prevents break outs and forest fires, wait for it to dry, add some grease free moisturizer, write my suicide note, let all the turtle doves go free, scream ala kazaam followed by allahu akbar, drop on the floor, which just happens to be asking for a mopping. i sweep first with a broom throw away the dust and inanimate objects which have set up camp there, on my bathroom floor mop once with warm water.. i am against maintenance.|W|P|110365551868670058|W|P|i am - against maintenance|W|P|12/21/2004 02:06:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|What are the chances of me getting into your pants on a scale of 1 to impregnated ?12/21/2004 01:31:00 PM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|I was doing a little x-mas shopping for my wife and stepdaughters on La Petite Coquette, lingerie consultant to the stars. I figured that my girls are my little stars, so why not spoil them with lace and satin.....I can't wait until Christmas morning when they all put on their matching sheer sets and dance for me to "Oh Holy Night". Amongst the garter belts, thongs and bras....there is a little section called "Star Choices" I clicked it thinking it would be a sales page for used panties of people like Britney Spears, Faith Hill, Gene Hackman, Diane Sawyer and Keith Richards, but it was just a page with their autographs....a little disappointing.....but worth checking out anyway. HERE The coquette sale is here |W|P|110365471342418784|W|P|I am - Lingerie Consultant|W|P|9/26/2005 10:07:00 AM|W|P|Blogger natalie|W|P|I really liked the information on Funny Pictures, great job! I have my own Funny Pictures Exposed blog if you would like to come and see what I have on mine.12/21/2004 01:03:00 PM|W|P|Brad Goldstein -Lawyer|W|P|In England: Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license. Those weird English people.|W|P|110365237085458376|W|P|I am - International law of the day|W|P|12/21/2004 11:55:00 AM|W|P|Jesus Martinez|W|P|This isn't a funny blog entry, it's just something I came across that reminded me that I am strange. So... I read this ad in the paper looking for girls who were labeled a slut. It was for a documentary. This was about 1 year ago. I decided to email them - this is what I wrote: Hello, I am contacting you in response to your ad in the Montreal Mirror. I see that you are looking for people who were labeled a slut in highschool. I in fact am the perfect candidate for your project. I have been labeled a slut since I was 12. I don't know why, I think it is because I developed at a young age and had an older boyfriend. I mean I was into sex and I realized that I could get more out of people, using my sex appeal, and in all honesty, it was fun being that way. I mean I have tried every imaginable position and every scenario with every man in my small town... I am 21 now, and I still live a similar lifestyle, I will not change for anyone. I can remember many stories from my highschool years, that I would rather forget. I remember being hated on by the girls and sexually harassed by the boys (which was awesome) for 5 years!!! Anyway, I don't even know why I am telling you all this. Lydia Her Response was: Lydia, It's great to hear from you. My name is Brenda, I’m the research coordinator for this project. It’s my job to make contact with all the women and girls and hear their stories. Let me tell you a little bit about the project - it's a documentary film for TV that is yet to be titled. The original idea for the documentary came from the book Fast Girls, by Emily White, released in 2002. In Fast Girls, Emily White says if you ask someone about their high school/junior high/town “slut,” you’ll get much the same story no matter where you are in North America. White argues that the slut is an archetype, part of the collective unconscious. Crowds HAVE to have a slut, and they create one no matter whether the girl “deserves” the title or has never been kissed. Anyway, this documentary project gives voice to those women. So far, we’ve heard from dozens of women who are telling their stories. They range in age from 16 to 60 and come from one end of the continent to the other, from the southern US to Canada (which is where the project originates from – I’m located in Halifax, Nova Scotia). The film is being directed by Andrea Dorfman. Her most recent film is Love That Boy. I would love to speak to you over the phone for 15 minutes or so to get a sense of your story. Let me know a good time tomorrow or the next day. After that, you can consider if and what you'd be comfortable sharing on camera. No pressure. Please e-mail me back a good time for you. Thanks. I look forward to speaking with you. Brenda : ) |W|P|110364876089277476|W|P|I am - A film about SLUTS|W|P|9/26/2005 08:28:00 AM|W|P|Blogger paige|W|P|I appreciate your information on Funny Pictures. I just bookmarked your site and will be back regulalry to keep on top of it. Please check out my blog on Funny Pictures Exposed - I'd really appreciate it